Question:
Should I get in touch with my mother and sister again?
2011-09-23 03:15:10 UTC
Last year our family had a serious crisis. My parents separated and I hated my mother and sister for 10 months. I hardly spoke to either of them. I feel that I should regain contact with them as I feel emotionally down as I miss them. However I was confrontational to them several times when I was in contact with them and it was a mistake. I did have my reasons to be angry, however.
I am not going to explain the situation fully as it will waste your time and mine (long story) but I will say that my mother did some very unforgiving things. However I feel that all of this should be set aside now and I should get back in contact with them.

Part of my motivation is that my father has not been treating me with respect recently. I left my mother to go to him as I felt he would be far better in taking care of me and being a better parent. However, he has started treating me like S***, bullying me and making me feel intellectually inferior. He needs to wake up, in my opinion.

I know that the above reason may seem selfish, but is now the right time to restore the relationship between my mother, sister and I?

Please help, I am desperate and in a fragile state.
Four answers:
Mandy
2011-09-23 03:25:28 UTC
So you have made some mistakes and not been talking to your mom or sister but you know something that is okay because you are know realizing that you do need them in your life and they will always be there for you. That's how a lot of families are. I don't talk much to my mother because we always bump heads and I don't agree with the way she is or the way she thinks but she is my mother and I will always love her and try to at least call her to keep in touch since she did give birth to me and all. My brother I haven't spoken to in about 3 years but I know if I needed him, all I would have to do is pick up the phone, call him, and he would be right there for me.



So now or anytime is the right time to get back into contact with them and no worries even if they don't understand why you haven';t been talking to them they will still accept you because that's the way families should be. Always there for one another no matter what.
e.g.
2011-09-25 23:08:31 UTC
Hi there Vladimir



Selfishness is an important motivator in all of us. We wouldn't get out of bed in the morning if there wasn't something in it for us. Everything that has happened to you has brought you to this time in your life when you are invited to take responsibility for what happens to you each and every day. It is the time we all face when we must leave the mother's womb and face a bigger world. It's frightening. You done this already when you were a baby, and you obviously repeated this act when you left your mum's home into a still greater world with your dad.



The desire to be taken care of (retreating back to the fragile state of childhood and to your mother's house/womb) will not solve your problem because the problem is one of accepting it IS time to step into that greater world, and stand up on your own two feet. This doesn't mean you need to buy a house or find the means to support your whole family - it simply means this:



All those dreams you have of what you want to do, to be and to have, you must now decide to give them all your attention. No more fighting with people and using up valuable energy which could have gone to firing up the cylinders of your dreams. No more waiting on others to make your life happy, or worthwhile, or successful, then getting mad when they don't deliver. They may contribute to your happiness, your success and purpose, but only you are responsible for accepting the gift of your life and cracking on with fulfilling your destiny. Follow your bliss.



The respect that is lacking is for the internal power you possess to achieve your every desire. By expecting others to carry your weight, you disrespect yourself. By not recognising you get back in life only what you send out, you dismiss your remarkable intelligence. Tribal cultures for thousands of years have thrown the child from its mother's house as part of the ritual of growing up and cutting those apron strings when the child becomes a handful. It seems this is not so primitive after all, and perhaps even the universe is in on it too.



Use the opportunity, because otherwise it will only repeat itself over and over until you accept your part as a respectable, capable, intelligent, successful and worthwhile individual and member of your family, the local and the world communities.



All the best

E.G.
Bikram
2011-09-23 11:08:15 UTC
To err is human being n to forgive is divine. I feel sorry to hear ur sad story o life. There is no wrong to restore relations with ur mother n sister. If u find mother love n sister love n inturn one sister get his brother n mother his son. Don't forget u r a man. u born alone n will go alone. So, acquire those things which u have n remain calm in any situation of lyf.

after hearing ur life, i feel luckiest one to have such family bonding n such divine father n mother. Divine is ur both father n mother today..he will guide u but be cobscious wat u do next. Always try to make relation n learn how to drink anger. Burst this demonic energy for useful unaccomplished task that remain to do. Thats al my dear brother.



God bless you!
Mirza
2011-09-23 10:27:20 UTC
Dear Friend,

It is unclear if you are a male or female and what is your age. Also it differs situation, in which country you are living.

Its always better to restore your blood relation, no matter how they treat you are how they are in nature.

If you are in situation to get job, please do it first. Or if you are studying, you have to finish up your education first.

Side by side you try to get your all realtion smooth. You dont have to metion thier misdeeds again and again if you come in touch. If you want to get your relation restored, see what you can do for them, insteqad of looking what they can do for you.

if you want something more to discuss feel free to mail me.

Good Luck. Take care of your future first and then your relations.

arbeez_2000@yahoo.co.in


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