Am I a jerk if I don't call my dad on father's day?

Question

My dad hasn't been much of a father financially, emotionally, or geographically (he has lived 8 states away from me since I was eight and I am now 20), and I honestly feel alot of resentment about calling him on father's day. I have never ever in my life called him to wish him a happy father's day or given him a father's day present. And for some reason a couple of weeks ago he asks me "Do you have my father's day present all wrapped up and ready to go." WTH?

I couldn't even believe he had the audacity to ask me that, let alone assume he deserved it in the first place. Our relationship is barely kept afloat through infrequent phone conversation.

I just really don't want to call him and give him the satisfaction, but on the other hand it would make me feel like a total jerk.

What do you guys think?

Answer 1

Follow your heart,only U could make that decision.Maybe that`s his way of asking for forgiveness.Some of us will give you positive feed back & some of us negative feed back but only you could make the right choice.We are humans and we make mistakes I did many years ago with my daughter now I have a beautiful relationship with her.Only U could tell.Best wishes 2 U.Gilbert.

Answer 2

That's exactly how my father and I are like.. he never was a father, like you said .. financially,emotionally or geographically.. in fact he is partly the cause for my pathetic childhood etc. Anyway I digress, I don't intend to call my father either.... I used to draw him cards but he never really appreciated it, so I guess... think about it, would he appreciate it? In your case, if he actually asked you about a present... it could mean he might be lonely, realizes that he DOES have a son "oh wow.." and he has *missed out* on that part of his life, this could be all about him OR it could be that he wants to foster a relationship with you now - even if it's been awhile.. ok fine, a long time.



For me, I wouldn't call my father. FOR ME, Things wouldn't change imo, and it's already so awkward..

You have to ask yourself, what you want... if you DO call him - okay what happens? what now? Oh okay, happy father's day dad. HERE i got you this at dollars & cents! What now? Oh .... Oh you were pulling my leg all along? _|_



But seriously, why would you feel like a jerk when he doesn't deserve to be entitled " your father" ?

This is about you and your dad now, so do you want to salvage anything there is in your relationship with him or just let it wilt like a dying flower?

It's your choice.

Answer 3

My dad is on trip and that i had already despatched him a card and present interior the mail - he gets it while he returns from his holiday. So i did no longer call mine the two. yet my husband's daughters did no longer call him and he became incredibly disillusioned approximately it. i might call him and notice how he reacts. in case you experience it became no biggie - then do no longer problem approximately it. in case you experience he became harm, then be sure which you do plan time to call next year. regrettably, no longer all individuals have the styles of fathers that some people do. it quite is a continuing conflict to maintain a relationship going with my father. good success! :)

Answer 4

If he was no "dad" to you, then I see no reason to pay homage to him on Father's Day for simply having had sex with your Mother...do what feels right to you...my father dumped my mother with 2 teenage kids and no way to support them years ago (1982) and I haven't seen or spoken to him since then, and never have I felt a moment of guilt...

Answer 5

Every body mellows with age . Your dad is trying to reach out to you. It won't hurt to accommodate him - life is short.

Answer 6

if you have never called him before why now

but it would be nice to hear from his lil girl

Answer 7

yes , at least call him .