Treated differently because I'm a girl?

Question

Is it fair that my parents won't let me stay home alone for a night because I am a girl? My mother says that she trusts me but she doesn't want me to kidnapped or raped because that happens to girls way more than boys. When I'm alone during the day I can't even open the door to get a package from the mailman. My mother and father both have said many times that if they had a son it would different and that that's just the way it is because he's a boy and would be less likely to be taken. I'm almost 18 and I think I should have a little more freedom when it comes to this. I don't feel that it's fair that I'm treated this way solely because I'm a girl, I understand they are doing what they think is right to protect me but I could be attacked anywhere at any age so this makes no sense to me. I just want the privilege I have worked hard to get through never doing anything wrong.

Answer 1

The privilege of deciding for yourself how to live and what risks you are willing to take is not earned until you are living as a financially independent person. Not before. Too many parents allow children privileges that have not been earned, and it's often to the child's detriment.



Like it or not, the world is generally a more dangerous place for women and girls due to the plain fact that they are easier prey for male predators. It's not true in every case, of course. There are women who are trained to defend themselves, either physically or with firearms.



I'm guessing that your parents know what they are doing - they know they can never protect you from every possible evil, but the things they can control, they are.



So, while it may not seem fair, you need to remember that life, in general, is not fair. The sooner you accept the idea that life isn't fair and that carrying a chip on your shoulder will do nothing useful for you, the sooner you can take the steps needed to live the best life you can make for yourself on YOUR terms, as an independent adult.

Answer 2

I simply watched whatever on television kind of about what you recounted. Like, seriously, I watched it 20 minutes in the past. If a woman sleeps round, she's a whore and her social popularity will rise with those... Of her type, and shrink of these whom dislike... Sluts. But when a guy sleeps round he becomes a stud. I suppose it can be that entire "animal instinct" thing. Yenno, alpha males and all. The "nice" males get to mate with all the women and etc. However without doubt, girls and boys are treated a lot more distinct than each different. Individual experience; i'm a man and i have anorexia nervosa. Not many guys are open about their insecurities, seeing that society has made it so that guys must reside as much as this "i'm tough and may handle the whole lot" snapshot. Whereas females look to have that "damsel in distress" snapshot. Folks expect distinctive things from men and women, and now that technology and acception has come into the world, men and women are realizing that not everybody fits into these generalizations.

Answer 3

Honestly why would you want to spend a night alone. I turned 18 earlier this year but I would hate to spend a single night without somebody in the house with me....I wouldn't sleep. Anyway I get what you are saying. My mother would let me stay home during the day "alone" only if my younger brother (who is 18 months younger) is home too. However he is allowed to stay home without me or our sister being home.



I sometimes find it a bit frustrating but the fact of the matter is that suddenly being 18 doesn't change the world. Being 18 doesn't make you grown or capable of protecting yourself...although it gives you the official opportunity to protect yourself and learn how to be an adult....it doesn't take away the vulnerability and the naivety. You yourself are aware of what your parents are trying to do...protect you from the creatures this world harbours. I say let them. Let them keep you safe for just a bit longer. It seriously won't be long before you will be left to your own devices.

Answer 4

That is a little obsessive. My parents were leaving me home alone when I was twelve. They showed me where they kept the guns so I can protect myself if need be. Tell them if they don't give you more freedom you're gonna move out real soon and live in a scary apartment all by yourself in the ghetto. They have to let you by yourself or you will never be independent. You need to tell them to loosen the chains a bit so that you can start living life before you get in more trouble when completely on your own because they didn't teach you how to live on your own.

Answer 5

I am a female in my 30's, sometimes when I am out shopping in the evening/ nighttime I dress up as a man. I put on baseball cap, guy shirt, mens coat, guy shoes and once in awhile male cologne. You could try showing your parents you can dress like a guy. Hopefully they will like the idea.



You really shouldn't feel like a prisoner in your own home. I think your parents have been watching & hearing about bad stuff in the news over the years, and associate fear with it. You can't even go to the movie threater or even a school without worrying about some psycho killer.



Try the guy look to see if they will let you out a little bit.

Answer 6

I have a big family, lots of cousins and such. 3 of us are the same age we grew up together n are pretty close, however 2 of us are girls (me being one of those girls), and one is a boy. This boy(my cousin) is a bit of a player, hes been with a lot of girls, and he knows how to play them, my family thinks its funny and congratulate him on it, however when me or Cassy ( the other girl cousin) date, we do not get the same treatment, in fact its pretty much the opposite.

Honestly its because he is a boy and that is just the way it is.....

If you want freedom have it, move out, do your own thing.. that's what i did, and i am still loved :)

Answer 7

You're right, it makes no sense. Good news is you're almost 18 -- you can move out and get your own place!

Answer 8

Then try to tell your parents about it. They do treat you that way simply because they love you that much and you are valued.

Answer 9

well your pretty much an adult .Explain to them that there's no reason to be so paranoid. , make your own decisions. It's that time to do what you want, since your pretty much an adult

Answer 10

grl you need to talk to them and have a serious talk. tell them they have to give you freedom or you'll move out.