How do I ditch my INLAWS without royaly pissing off my wife, and seeming like a ahole?

Question

Yeah I've had it with them. Her dad is a jerk, and her mom has this fake laugh all the time that is really loud and fake. I have put up with them for seven years and I wanna cut the umbilical completely. Is there a way to gracefully bow out without hurting feelings? How do I avoid them? I would be a happier man if I never had to deal with them again. Anybody else ever deal with this? I don't hate them, but I really wanna break up with them and never see them again without pissing off my wife and making her choose sides. Any Ideas?

Answer 1

Time to hire a hitter....

Answer 2

Well if at first you fail you are not alone........You my friend are where many of men have gone before, including myself, Look brother the whole wife and family thing, to be put in simple text, is Another full time job.....That never ends.......sadly if there was no problems we and they would all be boring people.......Paitence is a vertue......... Wait until cooler heads prevail.......The only limmitations people have are the ones they put on them selfs........It is hard but you have to do it for her and the kids......One major fact in life is people are self centered and this if taken to no end will result in only the upmost unhappyness.......I feel like you mostly around the holiday season, always going to her family events and seldemly my own. How ever my Friend some ady some how you'll learn to serve others and enjoy it, not to say you never do. A good friend whom ironically has even worse troubles than you and I once told me " When a women is right she is right and when A women is wrong she is right" This made me chuckle at first and then the reality of it set in.......Any how to save a lot of time I further say....Are you going to argue about small things for ever....Of course, try not to make it personal each time you do, realize that you can't always be right and she can't always be wrong........I wish you the best of luck friend and when things get bad remember what it was about her that captured you and why it is that you love her so much.

Answer 3

I'm in a similar situation. The first thing I would do is let your wife know how you feel. (That's the first step that I took.) She may not be to happy about it, but that's something that she'll have to deal with. She needs to know how you feel. Then, just stop going around her parents. Since it's HER parents, let her deal with their questions about you not coming around. (I did this also.) If they come to you and not her, come up with some BS to get them off of your back. (Worked for me.) But the key to this whole thing is to let your wife know that you're NOT making her choose sides. After all, it's not right to make someone choose between their parents and you. It won't be easy, but eventually her parents will get the message. My wife and I went through this about 2 years ago, so I have dealt with this, and I am a MUCH happier man without them in my life. Like I said, make sure your wife knows how you feel and that she doesn't have to pick you over them. Just let her know that you and your marriage (probably) will be better off.

Answer 4

I think that is one of the hardest questions I have read on here yet. I had to tell my ex-wife that I just didn't like being around her family. They all smelled funny, in a bad way. They treated me like crap, so i told the wife that she could go be with them and I just stayed home. It made her a little upset, but if your wife honestly knows how you feel about them, then maybe she would understand. Either that or I hope you have a lot of money for jewelry. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well you didn't say if they live there close but if they do and come over everyday.

The worst thing is to have to put up with a smelly person so rub some of that stinking doe pee that guys use to go hunting on you and set as close to the in laws as you can. I bet if you do that every time they come around they would stay as far from you as they could.Maybe even stop coming over all together.

Answer 6

If your wife loves her family and is close to them then my question would be how much do you love your wife? If she is close with her family and you love her as much as you should then you will deal with it. If your only problem is that her dad is a "jerk" and her mom has a fake, loud laugh then my advice to you is grow up! I mean it's not like they are trying to tear your wife away from you or break up your marriage. I'm assuming you knew her parents before you married her.

Answer 7

I feel your pain man. For a little over a year I was with this one girl and I had the same problem. At first every thing was fine. Her parents lived about thirty miles away. Then the day from hell arrived and the parents moved to about four blocks from us. Suddenly we had to be over at their place everyday. If I wanted to do some kind of modification to my house, my now EX (thank god) would tell me we have to ask her father before we do anything. If he didn't like it I couldn't do it.

It sounds like you don't want to do what I ended up doing. I packed up my stuff and got the heck out of there.

Like I said before, I feel your pain.

Answer 8

If you don't have a job, and living with your in-laws for their financial support, by all means get a job and start becoming self-sufficient.



If you have a job, request for an out-of-town or out-of-the-country transfer. Once you get the "good news", tell your wife and your in-laws that you just have to grab the opportunity for "career's sake".

Answer 9

Move far enough away that they can't visit often. Go to monster.com and hotjobs.com and find a job elsewhere. Meanwhile, just make other plans so you can't spend time with them. It's your life, if you don't want to be in the company of someone, you shouldn't have to.

Answer 10

Do you have kids together? If so, it would be cruel to deprive them of their grandparents, whether you get along or not. You would have to pretend for the sake of the kids. A big downside to adulthood, but there you have it.



If no kids, then you need to be honest with your wife about it, but nice. Try something like this: "I love you and understand that you love your family, but I'm having trouble getting along with them. Would you mind getting together with them outside of our home, or alerting me to their visits so I can be elsewhere?"



You will never get your wife to deny her family, and remember that, if you move away, they would have to stay with you in order to visit her!

Answer 11

move away from them, somewhere that will take more than a 3 or 4 hour drive to reach you. like in another state. i think every couple should be away from the families for awhile.

Answer 12

Best thing to do is talk to your wife about the situation. If you dont get her approval you are going to have a **** load of trouble. Pretend to get sick or hurt yourself if you are going to see them if the first thing does not work.

Answer 13

Nope, can't be done. But you can move far away from them, and not visit yourself.



"A son is a son til he takes a wife, but a duaghter's yours for the rest of her life."

Answer 14

ive lasted 10 years with my in-laws what a thought .i cant stand them .they dont see us now i told them nicely just to f***off let us live our lives.move away but they will come up with a illness or something .u can never get away so just live with it.

Answer 15

Ultimatum to your wife: it's you or the in-laws.

See them once a month. Call the divorce lawyer now.

Answer 16

move out of their home, get a job, and stop mooching off of them...jk

Find a really good job several states away and tell your wife you really really want to take the job...

Answer 17

Your wife is a wife before a daughter. She made that commitment when she said "I do." So talk to her about it.

Answer 18

you have to remember it's not her fault her parents are like this (she did'nt choose them,but she chose you)if you stopped seeing them it would upset your wife.be a man and just put up with them for your wifes sake.

Answer 19

well in my opion when you marry you marry your spouse not the parents she should be willing to go to you.. I been married for 7 years and still am trying tog et my husband to leave is parents because they are always in our buiness

Answer 20

pure good luck!