Haven't spoke to my Sister for one year since she cheated with my Husband? Is it time to forgive?

Question

Haven't spoke to my Sister for one year since she cheated with my Husband? Is it time to forgive?

Answer 1

Here's the thing. She hurt you in a very disgusting way. She took all of the trust you put in her and just smashed it with a hammer. Not only did she help your ex husband cheat but she never felt bad about it until after you caught them. You mentioned that she would ask you to run errands for her so she could be with your ex husband, what does that tell you? She didn't care much for your feelings.



If you can't forgive her for what she did, then don't. She is family by blood, but that doesn't mean you should forgive just because she is family. Family would not do that to one another. She allowed your child to be alone downstairs while she had a good time. Is that the kind of person you want around your child? There is so much to take into consideration. You can even forgive her but tell her that you do not want her in your life. Or tell her that you will get past it on your time. And that she has to deal with it.



This is about you and your new family now. She messed up big time and its up to you to determine whether she will actually change and never hurt you that way again or if she is just sorry because now she has no one. Please take that into consideration.



I'm glad that you now have a new family and are happy. Stay happy and don't let the past ruin that. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 2

Forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation. Forgiveness means letting go of the burden and the bitterness. Reconciliation means starting your friendship over again.



You can forgive her immediately, but if you're not ready to be friends again, don't try to force a reconciliation. It would only be fake on your part. Besides, it might set your recovery back if you were forced to watch her acting as if you were both innocent co-victims. She says she knows now what you feel like, but she doesn't. She wasn't left to raise a child alone, and she wasn't betrayed by her own sister.

Answer 3

If i were in your position to be honest I would never speak to my sister again. Know that she helped ruin my marriage and a stable family for my child would be enough of a betrayal for me. Knowing that she was my family and my blood...to have done that to me would be the biggest and last betrayal of my life. I would also think about what she said, that she knows what it's like to get cheated on. So now it's okay for her to contact you because things went down south with Mark? So if it didn't go down South she would never even apologize i bet. The way I see it is that she is sorry, she really is but it only took the same thing happening to her to even learn and value what family is. I just wonder what would have happened if he didn't cheat on her. I do understand why you feel the way you do. Take your time if you don't want to forgive her to be honest maybe now is not the time. She did such a huge betrayal on you it's only right for you to feel the way you do. She needs to learn that you need your space and even a sorry is just sometimes not enough. To also be honest I just think about what would have happened if it had worked out for her with your ex husband would she even have said sorry? Would she have remorse?



I hope everything works out for you and I am truly sorry that happened. Just take your time if you do not feel like forgiving her yet then it is not the right time. You are not being dramatic for ignoring her messages you might as well put her number on ignore. What she did was very wrong and an i'm sorry is not good enough. She backstabbed you and your child.

Answer 4

I honestly agree with everyone else - if you're not ready to forgive her, don't force yourself to do so. Do what you feel is right. It's not selfish or mean of you at all, considering what she did was the worst thing anyone could have possibly done as a loving sister who's supposed to be there to comfort and protect you. Also, this Mark guy sounds like a freaking jerk. Did she just apologise to you after he cheated on her? Because if that's the case, then clearly she doesn't really have anyone else to run to, you know, since she eloped with him to France..

Answer 5

I still can't get over the fact she ran away with him to France and started a life with him... If she cheated and spent that entire year trying to earn back your trust and forgiveness, then I would say forgive her if you're ready to. But she didn't apologize, and she ran off with this man. She obviously didn't care about ruining her relationship with her own sister and sounds very selfish and undeserving of your forgiveness. You can if you really want to repair this. Forgive her, but never speak to her again

Answer 6

You can forgive, but you won't forget. It was karma biting her in the butt when she was cheated on. I wouldn't let my little sister back into my life if that ever happened when we get older, even though I absolutely love her. If that jerk of an ex-husband didn't cheat on her, would she have apologized? Maybe...maybe not. Not much of a sister or a good human being.

Answer 7

If you aren't ready to have her back in your life, after only a year, then don't do it. Sounds like she need you more than you need her. Your life is going well right now, why upset the apple cart?

Answer 8

Don't force yourself to do something that you don't want to and aren't ready to do. I think that you should tell her that you need some more time to think.

If she understands then it's a sign that you can move a step forward. If she doesn't, then you should just forget about her.

Honestly, I've never been cheated on before or even had a boyfriend, but I can imagine that it must've hurt so much.

I'm happy that you found a new man, and I'm happy that he treats you and your baby girl right :) I hope you both are very happy together. Cheers x

Answer 9

If you feel that you are ready to forgive do it. But that doesn't mean that you have to let her in your life again. You are not obligated to allow her to know anything about you or invite her over. So you can follow your noble heart and forgive but you have to protect your family as your instinct tells you.

She will probably let you down one way or another again if you let her back in.

Answer 10

Forgiving doesn't mean acting as if you weren't wronged, it means letting go of resentment and bitterness, because that's not having any effect on her, only on you.



If you can do that, good but if not, don't pretend you can.



Letting her back into your life is another thing entirely and if I were you I wouldn't be having anything to do with her at all. She didn't only wrong you, she was a party to your child being neglected.



She wants you to say you forgive her so she won't feel so guilty: do whatever is right for you, not for her, you owe her nothing

Answer 11

Its never too early to forgive somebody, although it can become too late, we live in a life of surprises, you never know will happen in 1 hour, day or a week, that pain will erase soon or later, but then it might be too late to forgive somebody, then once your pain disappears you'll regret why you didn't forgive that person when there was still time, and this will hurt you same, all that will change will be opportunity to forgive and forget. You should forgive her and continue with your life like before, she is your sister after all, the one you shouldn't forgive is your ex-husband, at least for few more years, the pain of losing your family member would hurt you more than cheating, since it could be your husband's fault, and not your sister.

Answer 12

It's likely you will not feel at peace no matter what you do. Accept that. If you feel you can't forgive your sister, then don't. I could happen later. BTW - as is so often the case, you are now better off, as is your daughter. Yo may have found the right kind of guy this time, but I have a male friend who had 3 ex wives (all left him - He picked the worn kinds.) before meeting his 4th wife who he's been with 28 years and married to for 27. The both should have found each other first. The just belong together. I wish that for you as well (but skip the extra ex's).

Answer 13

Yes I understand the hurt, particularly if there was previously a great trust in the relationship, but in my opinion the human specie is not a very trustworthy animal at all, never has been, and most likely never will be. Knowing this, can we ever expect it. We are all very adept at making mistakes, and the only folk who have not made mistakes of one kind or another, are those who have never done anything at all.

No, I am not saying that we should forgive every idiotic act others make, but perhaps its a good idea to learn from it without letting it develop into hate, and hope that others will do us a similar favour. Personally, I forgive far too easily, and I don't hold grudges, I don't sulk, and certainly don't have tantrums. I just cannot be bothered with something that may be long past, but I NEVER forget, and it would be very wise to remember that.

Go on, patch it up. its a long time ago, just admit it was a regrettable incident. Quite pointless to get you knickers in a knot about it. Pity of course but..........

Answer 14

I'm so terribly sorry this happened to you ):



All I can drop here is - you can forgive her. Don't force yourself to, of course. Once the time is right and you think you're capable of putting it behind you without any strings attached, you should forgive her completely. However, you don't have to keep daily contact with her; you can both forgive her and keep your distance.



This is honestly a difficult situation for me as well: I have two younger sisters. I'm only one year apart from my second youngest sister, and she's my best friend. I'm as close to her as I could ever possibly be, but I can just imagine what it would feel like if she cheated on me with my husband. I love her to complete bits, yet it would kill me to know that my own sister - my own blood twin - betrayed me.



Blood is always thicker than water, it's true, but in some cases the water gets thicker than the blood. Give yourself and your sister time. Also, if you want, you can slowly and gradually rebuild your relationship with her. She's still your sister, and I really hope it works itself out smoothly!

Answer 15

She is asking you to forgive her. See her again because she is family. What makes me wonder is why your husband doesn't want you to have anything to do with her? This is between you two. When you do see her again why not arrange for a meeting in a public place. Invite your husband and take your little girl also. This will at the same time give your ex-husband a time to spend with you'll daughter. What I'm saying is put closure on your relationship with your sister by suggesting that along with this comes a far off meeting with her again. That is only if you decide to see her ever again. I have a feeling you won't. You seem to be holding the winning card. And this is so great for you. Who ever said "nice girls finish last" hadn't heard of you.

Answer 16

You're the only one who knows how to decide. You want to forgive her but you can't because of what she did to you, I mean if that would be me I would also never forgive my sister, but it's just that you can't do that to your own sister, because even if you change the world and everything, she's still you're sister. Well I'm not trying to say that you should forgive your sister already, but just try to think. Your feelings and your mind are not even, they don't move together. Your mind tells you to forgive her, but you're feelings says not because of the pain you got because your husband cheated with your own sister that you trusted for years. But time predicts everything, maybe one day you'll find an answer, an answer that we here can't answer. The question you made here, we cannot answer that, we can't predict what you're thinking right now, just wait, maybe one day you will forgive your sister.

Answer 17

Usually I am of the mindset "forgive and forget". But the fact that she not only cheated with your ex-husband but also then proceeded to run off to France with him, not texting you the whole time, is even more problematic. And the fact that she didn't see that what she did was wrong prior to your ex-husband cheating on HER suggests a severe lack of empathy and respect.



You can decide to forgive her if you think it's the right thing to do. However, do not rush into anything, and do not let her regain your trust too quickly. Your sister has the capacity to throw your relationship out the window, and she doesn't deserve the level of trust you once held for her.



You are not overreacting. It is intelligent of you to be wary.



I am glad to hear your daughter now has a father that cares about her and that you are doing well. Good luck and I hope you can figure things out! :)

Answer 18

I think you should forgive her but that doesn't mean you need to let her in your life. She's your sister and the hurt she caused you will always be there. You cannot trust her. She might be feeling pain right now because she was cheated on but those feelings will fade and then she'll be the same person she was before. She took your husband and your baby's father away from you. Maybe your marriage would have fallen apart anyway but you will never know. Tell her that you are not bitter anymore but that you have no interest in letting her in your life right now. She might beg but just ignore it.

Answer 19

True forgiveness will be beneficial to you and help you move on. You can forgive her and yet not have her in your life, if you wanted. Forgiveness of a major breach of trust like this is hard, but should be done if possible. Whether you have a relationship with her or not is your choice. If you can forgive her and then have a positive relationship then go for it. If you think you'll harbor any negative feelings or seeing her will bring them back then I'd simply move on without her.



She kind of got what she deserved by your ex cheating on her, by the way.



Duke

Answer 20

You can forgive her as a gift to yourself to help you move on. Forgiveness doesnt mean what the other person did was OK. It is just a tool for YOU! That being said, just because you forgive her doesn't mean you have to spend time with her, let her back into your life or introduce her to your boyfriend. You could if you wanted but I highly doubt your relationship would be the way it was before all this happened. If you really do want her completely back in your life I would go to a counselor with your sister to try and resolve what had happened.

Answer 21

I am sorry this has happened to you. It really hurts deeply to be cheated on, I have been there too, but thank God it wasnt my sister.

Your sister never had respect for you nor considered your feelings in any way and how you would be hurt when she crossed the line with your husband. Even flirting is wrong, that is emotional cheating.

We have to forgive so we can move on, and holding onto unforgiveness and anger can only make us sick. When I say we have to forgive I dont mean ring her and confess this and welcome her with open arms, what I mean is, just write a letter to your sister (dont post it) stating how she hurt you and then say you forgive her. Do the same with your ex husband. When you are done then throw the letters in the bin. Let go of the hurt you are carrying and you will feel better.

You say your sister wants to come back into your life, why? Is it just because she has been cheated on and she feels alone? She never contacted you while she was living with your ex did she? You can forgive but you will never be able to trust her again. I dont think I would want her back in my life if it was me. You have to do what is right for you. If you dont miss her then let her go. She never once considered your feelings when she was sleeping with your husband. All the Best.

Answer 22

That is so sad that your own flesh and blood could do something like that. Of course you'll always love your sister, but how can you ever trust her again, and especially around a new significant other? It's also sad that your sister had to go through the experience of being cheated on, in order to have compassion for you. I understand that sometimes people's emotions can overshadow their priorities. You're her sister. You should have come first. You can forgive, but how you forget? Did your sister need sex that bad that she had to have sex with your husband in your house---in your bed? Has your relationship with your sister been competitive? I hope you have friends that have all of the qualities your sister lacks---loyalty for one.

Answer 23

I believe that it's been too long since the cheating started. Time for you to move on now. I had the same thing happen to me involving my best friend and boyfriend. I worked late that night, and decided to drive over to his place and surprise him. Turns, out I was the one surprised. Her car was parked in front of his house, and all the lights were out. His car was there. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. After confronting him, I broke up with him and never spoke to her again. In the passing years, I've never spoken to her, and she has never taken an opportunity to call and ask me to forgive her. She has also been in two marriages that involved cheating. So much for that. Forgiving your former friend just brings up more hurt. Sometimes it's best to carry on.

Answer 24

In all honestly if I was to be put in your shoes I could never speak, not even look in her eyes. But I do believe there is a huge different between forgiving someone and forgiving and also bringing them back in your life, forgiving her dosent mean you have to let her back in your life, but I can understand having a big burden in me towards someone and that's something you don't want to be carrying around with you, what I do and something you can do as well, is text her how you feel at the moment that this situation happened, text her everything you feel and how happy you are with the guy you are with now, also make it clear to her that just because your replying to her dosent mean you two are back into each others lives again, its basically taking the burden off you and setting your self free from feeling angry. At the same time ask your self and that is this situation happened you would of never meet your boyfriend your with now. For me in order to be the bigger person is to not believe in karma, if you know whats right in your life its right, whatever you know is the truth that's all that matters, at the same time you need to make a choice for you, also a choice that benefits and protects your child and your boyfriend. overall its all your choice, but at the same time your choice you make now can effect your future. Goodluck I hope you find peace and harmony with your sister and your self. God bless. Xx

Answer 25

There is nothing wrong with forgiveness no matter what. Forgive her or not both ways she is the one feeling guilty and she might regret it so much. You need to forgive her. It will cause you lose nothing but gain inner peace and comfort and she would always and forever owe you that and appreciate you more and even love you more than ever. After all she is you sister, she may help you later somewhere in your life. Its always good to have some1 in your life than cutting some1 off of your life. I won't go long but say that forgiveness is always better it gives you inner comfort. So don't listen to stone hearted ppl and go for it, forgive her, she's your sister.

Answer 26

I feel you should forgive her... Well face it, if it was not your sister it would have been sum other girl... Ur ex husband would have done the same.... When i say forgive her is to forgive her as a person. Be in touch but keep boundaries... As time will pass things might get better but the best thing will be since ur going to keep some distance with her u would truly know if she has learnt her lesson... Or look at it this way... You found such an amazing person after ur ex... What could get better... Forgive her feel lightened... Move on with life... But dont get close with her immediately...



Have a happy life... Happy life is with family...

Answer 27

I think that a sister is a parter of our life. Sisters are forever and i would not recommend to be pissed with her. We all need family.

In my opinion u should try to forgive her. But not because she deserves to be forgiven, SHE DOES NOT! But you need to forgive her in order to be in peace with yourself. Once you forgive her u will feel much better. It's not like u and her are going to be bffs, or be as close as you and her used to be. Just, try to talk to her and little by little be able to open your heart to her one more time. Think all the times she was there for you, think all the time you spent together when you were kids. Humans makes mistakes. She is a ***** but you are NOT. What if something happen to her tomorrow? Because eventually people die and u may not get the chance to tell her that you love her and forgive her. Anyway, you should try to live without regrets. Is her mistake, make her know how disappointed you are with her, and that you can only forgive ONCE. if she does it again, it's on her to lose a sister.

Ps: good luck and sorry for my English, I speak Español :)

Answer 28

I don't know if maybe im being crazy but id never forgive either of them. she a horrible sister and he is a horrible father. they destroyed years of your life and it was just flushed down the drain. if you ever forgive either of them (I wouldn't) I think a year is far too soon. maybe that's just me. you should always keep trying to stay in contact with the father just because every child deserves a father. but if he is a shitty father and doesn't try as hard as you for a long time then its not your problem anymore. your daughter currently has a great father figure and that's important. but you can do just as well as a single mom if things didn't workout with your boyfriend. I think you should give it some more time with trying to forgive either of them. just let yourself be angry. its good to get it out of your system. even if it takes years. or if it ever happens.

Answer 29

It is difficult to forgive someone who you really love and trust and someone who you really care deeply about. As you mentioned she is your sister and someone who is your close relative. She came back to ask for your forgiveness because she was regretful for what she had done wrong and was willing to make up for her mistake. It may take some time, and the fact that you have been through all the events then ask yourself if you are ready to forget everything in the past and move on and move ahead to see brighter future with her as a family in the picture. It could be difficult and challenging, complex, and everything. Ultimately, you know you are now a happy person with a great BF and you are having a good life. The family who has once betrayed you may have changed and had become more trust-worthy as your sister. Take some time to communicate and perhaps it may take some time to rebuild the trust perhaps it would never be the same, know that you express your feelings to her and explain yourself it could take time.

Answer 30

I would not let her back into your life. The only reason she messaged you was because they broke up. If they were still together she wouldn t care what she had done to you. If you would like to talk to her I would suggest making it clear that you do not trust her and don t want her around your new boyfriend or daughter. Maybe say you would like to take things slow maybe with long distance communication my emails once or twice every few weeks. But I wouldn t be so forgiving right away and I wouldn t let her in my house. It wasn t just your ex-husband being unsafe around your daughter she just left her there as well. Take things very slow and over time maybe you two can have a relationship again. Bringing her back into your life like nothing happened is not a good idea at all, this wont solve the trust issues. Especially if she were to be around your new boyfriend it could make you paranoid and cause issues. Just take your time with her if you choose to talk to her at all. Good Luck

Answer 31

maybe forgive, but don't forget. Forgiving is more about you. so you can move on with your life and not be angry at her anymore. But I wouldn't be able to trust her anymore. I don't put all the blame on your sister for what happened, but she's the only one you have to deal with anymore, I imagine if it wasn't your sister, it probably would of been someone else, eventually. I think one day you'll be able to deal with this better, and maybe now isn't the time.. or maybe it is.. only you can decide that. good luck.

Answer 32

Without being political correct or sympathizing the victim,I'm going to tell the blunt truth and you may choose to read on...



Your husband didnt cheat on with you..Cheating means doing extra marital sex while staying with his wife...He has clearly fallen in love over your sister...While its very descpicable for a man to do that without actually taking a divorce from his wife...



What your husband and your sister had was love not a fling...if it was a fling,then he would have begged you to take you back..But he didnt,the fact that he moved in with ur sister shows that he actually wanted to end this relationship but didnt know how exactly he wants to,so he accepted what came by..



I think instead of acting like Jesus and forgiving them..You should get them out of your mind because they were not even worth of giving forgiveness...

Answer 33

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/t3P0k



Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.



The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.



Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 34

No, I don't think you should trust her, at all.



You can forgive her, but make it clear that you won't forget what she did, either, and if she ever does anything like that to you again, you'll cut her right out of your life.

Answer 35

Forgive, maybe but I'd NEVER trust her again. I hope you kicked his sorry *** to the curb as well.

Answer 36

You want to forgive and thats whats keeping you depressed. Then forgive her. But don't forget what happened and don't ever let her in your life. Don't ever trust her. Forgive her for your sake. For the sake to be able to move on. For the sake to take off a huge burden off you.

She needed you only because she was cheated on..if that didn't happen she might have never talked to you and live her life happily.And like I said, Don't ever let her in your life and your new bf. She destroyed your family once. She could do it again. She chose her sexual desire over you. Don't ever forget that.

Answer 37

okay if u r hppy wid your new BF so forgive your SIS And your ex also and thanks to them that u learn how to survive in this condition they make you more stronger and forget your past for your future .

Answer 38

Who cares be mad at the one who cheated.... The one that tapped that was testing him ..

Answer 39

Once a *lu* always a S**t. She's stabbed You before and when She meet's Your new Guy She;s sure to try again. Best advice Forget about Her and move on .I divorced My Ex 18 years ago.. She is also a S**t Have not bothered with Her again and don't miss Her at all.

Answer 40

Forgiveness is for YOU, not for the person who hurt you. Whether she's loving it or is now ashamed of it, she still has power over you because of your anger towards her. Pray about it. Ask God to heal you and give you a forgiving heart; and pray for your sister. Pray that the chains are broken and command the adulterous spirit to flee, In the Name of Jesus.

Answer 41

I know that had to be one of the hardest things to go through. I cannot imagine my sister doing that to me.



Forgiveness is about you. When you forgive a person, you are no longer allowing that individual to hold any power over you. What if a tragic accident happened to your sister and she dies, you would spend the rest of your life thinking how you did not forgive her. Forgiving her does not mean that the relationship has to go back to what it was, it just simple means , yes you did me wrong, but I'm going foward with my life and I wish you the best. She broke your trust that is something hard to gain back, I would let her know I forgive you, but I do not trust you. Also keep in mind Matthew 6:14, 15. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you""whereas if you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trepasses."

Answer 42

If you aren't 100% ready, don't do it...that's really fucked up of her. I'm so sorry you had to go through that & I wish the best for you & your new boyfriend.



I can't BELIEVE she only "came back" to you AFTER he cheated on her...she asked for it. That guy is a lost soul & so is she. Gosh, I feel for you. Prayers & much love. v

Answer 43

Dear its all up to you and how you feel. There's no rule.

Answer 44

Forgive your sister, I know that it was a bad thing what she did but come on, forgive your family and family is forever, but as for ur ex-husband don't ever talk to him again don't try to contact or anything

Answer 45

Forgive her, it's a sin not to forgive.



But, keep in mind what she's can do, so keep a distance.



When you hold gurges it leaves you with a heavy heart you have to let it go.

Answer 46

you can forgive her for yourself, not for herself or for what she did. because it was wrong for her to do what she did. but you don't have to let her come back in your life or you don't have to let her come and be around you. plus she is hurting now because he did the same thing to her. now she sees how you felt when she cheated with your husband even if they weren't married. this is enough hurt for the both of you. because you both have been hurt the same way. there is o need for you to continue to hate any more because she has been paid back by the same person that hurt you. I would be leery about her being around your boyfriend too. but it sounds like it wasn't completely her fault that this happened. it sounds like your husband may have had a big part in this too, both of them knew they were wrong for doing this. but whoever fault it was there was weakness in it too on somebody's part. one or the other should have had the strength to said no. I wish you well with your new friend

Answer 47

You can forgive in your heart and move on, but you dont have to pursue them to do it. If she reaches out to you dont be a jerk.. after all you have found happiness as well. Dont worry about revenge, trust me what goes around come around. She is however your sister, not just a friend. If it were me.. i would forgive for my own peace of mind and move on.

Answer 48

Inshort,your husband and ur sis both of them don't deserve to being forgave,they really don't care about anyone's feeling for self pleasure

Just throw them away from your life...!

Answer 49

Forgiving someone to give peace to your own soul......can happen........but forgetting is another issue.

It seems pay back came to both of them and this will happen when God is in control my friend.

Glad you have found a good person and he has a good intent for you also in asking you to forgive..

Clears the space in your heart to keep growing with him and God.

Answer 50

Sounds like she got served up a big plate of piping hot karma hon.I think maybe she has learned and grown from this.Tell her you can forgive her but if it ever happens again, then she is out permanently.

Answer 51

You are under no obligation to forgive or forget, or to speak with her again. I certainly would not.

Answer 52

I agree, there is no pointing of adding fuel to the fire if you are not ready, than your not ready. Continue to ignore her, she does need you. Karma is eating her up unfort.and you deserve better in your life. For the sake of your soul, tell her you forgive her and you love her as a sister, but you can not have her in your life anymore. Give your soul some relief.

Answer 53

When you are clear that forgiving her is for the healing of YOUR spirit, not hers. Also, when you know that you can set boundaries on the new relationships that are different than before.

Answer 54

If she was mine. Shed be dead to me. Not only did she cheat she ran off n remarried ur ex. Thats something thats unforgiving to me. I would of changed my number n moved!.

Answer 55

ur sister is a bi**h dont forgive her, what kind of sister would do that.

Answer 56

never forgive;never forget.

Answer 57

you can't forgive her. she is not a neighbor or a coworker to put you aside so casually, as she did to sleep with your man. she can't be forgiven. she gambled and lost.

Answer 58

There is no particular "time to forgive". It is nice to think you sister has grown up some and can apologize, but that does not mean the hurt she caused you and your child is erased.



I would let it go. Maybe in the future you will be open to seeing her, maybe not. It is up to you.

Answer 59

You can forgive, but I would not trust her.

If you do, then the next one is on you!

Answer 60

NEVER FORGIV OR FORGET

Answer 61

You can always forgive but not forget.

Answer 62

thats disgusting of what you're sis did to you! she is a low life.eww i mean you had sex with you're ex husband and produce a baby girl. then you 're sister had sex with him . you get the idea dont you? she is a sick person who needs help and her actions were sicking! forgive her when you are ready!

Answer 63

the point of forgiveness is not for your sister, it is for you, the anger you feel inside of you is unhealthy, when you forgive it does not mean you condone to what your sister did, Forgiving allows YOU to let go of the anger, not to let your sister "Feel" better about what she did.



I would only meet my sister for coffees, she would not be allowed in my personal life (my home). and that would be that. I would would never trust that person again. Trust is not given it is earned.

Answer 64

It's time to forgive. Family comes first. He cheated too

Answer 65

Dont you Ever forgive her, EVER. That is just UGLY OF HER

Answer 66

Hell no Look I'm the type of person that easily is forgive and forget but this isn't something I would forget because if she is okay with cheating with your husband then why do you think you should be okay with forgiving her if i were you i would want REVENGE sweet sweet revenge then i guess will see if she can forgive you.

Answer 67

I second with everyone who is saying you can forgive her but that does not mean letting her back in. Forgiveness is more so for your peace of mind it is showing that you are moving on from the situation and no longer letting it affect your life.



As for letting her back in people can tell you what to do and not what to do but at the end of the day you are going to have to decide for yourself and will end up doing what you want...



However I personally would never speak to her again. She is a sister by biology but she is no sister to you.

Answer 68

Yes, yes, yes, you must forgive. I understand that you're hurt, you may still be holding on to anger, and you feel betrayed, but holding on to all of that won't hurt your husband or your sister, it's and will continue to hurt you. When you hold on to things like that without forgiving, it can manifest into other things like health problems. Forgive them not for them, but for yourself. You don't have to forget what happened, but you should forgive both of them. Having the heart to forgive will help your heart heal and as a result, you'll be able to move on with your life.

Answer 69

Only you can decide whether you can forgive her or not. What She did to you was wrong and as karma goes I guess she learned that if someone is that willing to cheat once they usually will again. Though there are always exceptions. The thing is there is a big difference between forgiving and forgetting. If you do find it in your heart to forgive it doesn't me you have to trust her or forget, it just means you have forgiven her for her transgressions.

Answer 70

You don't forgive someone because you think it's the right thing to do, if you have any doubt in your heart it is just not the time to forgive. You forgive when you're ready and can actually say I'm sorry and mean it without resentment.

Answer 71

You and your sister are family by blood, but friends? If I were you, I wouldn't. If she was really sorry, she wouldn't be with your ex-husband right now. She obviously wants her sister back, but after what she put you through. f*** her. And f*** him. She does not deserve your forgiveness. She helped break a family. You found somebody new and moved on. You are happy, yes? Finally happy. And here she comes, all sloppy and begging. Did she even think about what she put you through? The only time it would be to forgive, would be on your deathbed.

Answer 72

Hmmmm I don't know if I could forgive on that one but u know what they say blood is thicker then water. So eventually u should try to forgive her. But if it was me I couldn't do that I would not be able to forgive neither of them. Oh hell no I wouldn't forgive neither one and your sister is just wrong and no u aren't dramatic why do u think that they did it to u so now they both deserve each other your sister is an idiot.

Answer 73

Forgiveness is the cure for all happiness. As for your sister, write to her with this and say nothing more. Send a card and write "will you accept my apology for any hurt and harm I may have done to you as we were growing up"? Many families never seems to want to know what causes the cheating but your ex-husband may have had a secret crush on her when he was 16, of course, you didn't mention her age but love is crazy and unpredictable. The trust is gone with your sister. You do not owe her any explanations. She was disrespectful to her niece and children are our future so we must protect them. Time heals all wounds.

Answer 74

You can forgive but you will never forget. I can't believe that she ran off to france with him, I mean she's family how can she do that? I say you should let the feeling of Mark cheating on her sink in.. let her get a taste of her own medicine.

Answer 75

It's not on you to forgive. It's on her husband to forgive. You are not her husband. She cheated on her husband in marriage. She did nothing to you. Your sister feels abandoned by her brother, and rightfully so, because it's been a year.

Answer 76

Forgive your sister. After all she is your own flesh, and blood, and I don't think she will do it again because she knows how bad it hurt you. Jesus said to ''pray to the Father to forgive us our sin, just as we have forgiven those who have sins against us.'' Matthew 6:12 . In other words if you don't forgive your sister her sins neither will your ''Heavenly Father'' forgive you. So the best advice I can give you is to forgive your sister.

Answer 77

A betrayal as such as you went though, in my opinion is unforgivable, even if I loved my sister I wouldn't even want to talk or see her ever again. What kind of sibling would do such a thing, apparently she didn't care that much about your feelings or the fact that she was your sister to do such a thing. I'm sorry for what you went through, and I'm happy you found the right guy now.

Answer 78

well try to think positive and you need not to lose relation like you did. You must have thought of a guy, even though you were married. Same thing applies to everyone, But yes cheating is not allowed. Just answer yourself, are you happy? if so then you were right and should not go back, if no then forget and forgive.

Answer 79

There is no set time on how you should feel about someone.

If you don't want to forgive her or still harbor negative feelings, then don't forgive.

Some people don't deserve kindness or second chances, it may sound immoral but it is the truth.

Answer 80

I would forgive her because then you could have peace with the situation and try to push aside what happened. I'm not saying what she did was even slightly okay, but you don't have to let her back into your life or even talk to her again. Forgiving her would be more for your peace of mind and would help you not to dwell on the situation, which causes yourself even more misery.

Answer 81

I wouldn't forgive her, sisters don't do that to each other. She wouldn't have done that if she really cared about you. Don't let yourself be pushed around by others. She doesn't deserve your forgiveness!

Answer 82

hell no cut that ***** off

Answer 83

no. ***** doesnt deserve it

Answer 84

I know she has done you wrong, she has sinned by committing adultery. But yes, it is time to forgive and forget. Drop it. You may still have a grudge against her, but you still need to forgive. :)

Answer 85

No I don't think so she probably said sorry after u caught them but if she really cared about u she would have kept bugging u unroll u forgive

Answer 86

Time to forgive

Answer 87

I wouldn't forgive her until I saw actions NOT words. She better show you she's sorry not just say it. Now that she has nobody NOW she wants you back how advantageous of her. It's your decision, you shouldn't be forced to forgive someone who you clearly see doesn't sound guilty. Think about it, it's you who has the last word.

Answer 88

Tell her to duke it out with you on Jerry Springer !!

Answer 89

f him f her. They wont be happy I assure you. Once a cheater always a cheater. They both hurt you that is too much to take. I have loved and lost and it hurts to the fng core. It will take a strong man to be with you because now you have a broken heart. Stick with one man and try your damndest to get better. for you and your child. been there honey. There will always be cheaters and always someone hurting. Please wake up and move on quickly open your heart to someone new cause if you dont you will be alone forever. This is your moment to take. Grab hold on and hope you are never 57 single with a 22 year old man (s0n) who has more issues than I ever thought possible. Take it from me move on. As so far as your sister Family is family you wont forget but you can forgive. Not to soo n though. Good luck girl.

Answer 90

Yes ask your sister for advice on banging your next boyfriend

Answer 91

Forgive her but keep her in a distance and don't let her mix up with your present family.

Answer 92

Your sister will always be your sister.. She was there for you to be there and she was there before your husband I know you love your husband but mabey it is time to forgive.. You won't have another sister like her... I bet y'all do love each other and she wants to feel pain but no contact to her.. Is to Mitch so yes its time :)

Answer 93

you cant forgive a sibling for doing something like that its unforgiveable if my brother slept with my girlfriend I would cut them both out of my life for good

Answer 94

Yes you can't grow as a person unless you forgive and forget. I know its hard but i promise you its worth it.

Answer 95

Nice BF btw. If you aren't ready to have her back in your life, after only a year, then talk to her. Forgive her after you think about it and talk to her about it. One 'sorry' isn't enoguh to forgive somehting like this.

Answer 96

Because you have a common child, and she is more important in your life both, if you are able to forgive him, it will be very nice. Always people should forgive others upto when he will be able to do it.

Answer 97

i would not know what to do, but id seek counselling for sure

Answer 98

Don't forgive...But take this to your advantage. Say OK to seeing her again as if she pressurised you into 'forgiving' her as if you are the better person. And whenever you talk to her, talk with this cold tone as if you will literally kill her if she does something like that again.



In other words...use guilt to your advantage.

Answer 99

You can forgive

Answer 100

Oh that so wrong your sister knew that was you husband not hers she should be ashamed of herself😡😡😡😡

Answer 101

Technically, if you do not forgive her,you will have not 1 broken family but 2 so I think it would be better to forgive her. But, you should keep some distance even afterwards.

Nevertheless, if I were in your position, I do not think I would have forgiven her. It is simply too difficult.

Answer 102

I would forgive my sister but I would not forget what she done.If you did let her back in your life I would take it slow but me i would not trust her with an ounce of my body tho..People say family is first but sometimes that is not always true.I have a sister and she did do something like this but it was not to me but another sister and I do not speak to her at all.

Answer 103

You are within your rights to still be hurt by what your sister did. Give it time and see what happens with your feelings to your sister. It was a very hurtful thing that she did.

Answer 104

You know the answer to your question. Never forgive her or have anything to do with her. I hate my brother and he never did that but he is a really bad person.

Answer 105

thats up to you but i wouldnt blame you if you didnt

Answer 106

call jerry springer

Answer 107

sure you can speak to her, from far away, like internet, once in a while. Keep her out of your private life.

Answer 108

no. erase her from your life if you don't want to forgive her. you don't have to force your self to forgive her and no one can force you to do so.

Answer 109

No its time to get revenge. Enough time has gone by that you wont be the prime suspect. Your sister is an obvious whore with no loyalty. take her out clean and silently. yours truly iceman jr.

Answer 110

I wouldn't talk to her again.

Answer 111

NO way should you ever forgive either one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just be glad they're living in another country. IGNORE all communications between both of them.

Answer 112

You need to forgive her, it takes two people to do what they did. Forgive them both and go on with your life. It doesn't matter anymore as you are now divorced.Once you forgive, you will have peace. If you keep dwelling on this, you will be miserable.

Answer 113

Just take her out of ur life. She can't be sorry about it, she had a choice whether to have ### with him or not. Before all of that, she could have thought about you, she could have thought how it would affect you. BUT NO SHE HAS NO ####### BRAIN IN HER. SHE WAS YOUR SISTER HOW COULD SHE DO THAT TO U. SHE EVEN MADE U GET OUT OF THE HOUSE TO HAVE ### WITH UR HUSBAND. AND SHE COMPLETELY PUT UR DAUGHTER IN DANGER BY LEAVING HER ALL ALONE DOWNSTAIRS WITH THE WINDOWS WIDE OPEN. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED. And, after they were discovered, they ran off, she didn't apologize face to face. She only apologized after he cheated on her too. If he never did that, she would still be with him, she didn't care about u, sleeping with him like there was no tommorrow. Just because u guys are related doesn't mean you have to forgive. She was related to u, but she treated u like a dirt bag. This is all just me just so u know...this is what I would do, but this is your life, and you are in charge of it. Just follow ur heart. <3 (P.S don't forgive her, feel triumph in ur heart, put ur head up strong, and let go of her) again, this is me

Answer 114

No way...first of all they moved out of the country aside from the affair. If the ex wasn't much of a father anyways why talk to him?



You moved on, don't make any contact at all to your sister or ex. Perhaps when your old and 50 years have passed by then you should.

Answer 115

If you want to forgive her then do so, but it's perfectly fine if you never speak to her again. I wouldn't. Her actions really show how much she didn't care for you or your family. If you can't trust her, then leave her. She got what she deserved and you have no obligation to forgive just because she fell on her ***.

Answer 116

What she did was really bad BUT when all else said she is your sister. Try in you to forgive her and make up. Can't be easy though. Good luck.

Answer 117

No way Jose. Your sister is a traitor and did not even care to hurt your feelings. Just erase her, delete her, take her out of your life forever. After a year she regrets it, but did not regret anything before and showed no remorse. She is your worst enemy. No matter how much she begs, no matter how much she cries and no matter how much she asks you, do not forgive her. Also block her phone number and her accounts like facebook, instagram, twitter and all those. She's a jerk.

Answer 118

Hello Me Want Cookie,



Listen it seem unforgivable for what he did and I must agree that was awful for you. But you can't hold that grudge for life time because it can really mess you up! I know because it almost got me killed. Think about the people on television for example this one women killed her ex-husband because he cheated on her and ended up killing herself. Why you ask? Because she could not forgive her husband or herself!

It always better to Forgive and move on.



Hope this helps!

Answer 119

Your sister ruined your life once and there is nothing to prevent her doing it again with your new BF. Since Mark has cheated her she is all alone. If you want to forgive her wait till she find out a new BF .If not she will repeat the same act and ruin your new affair through jealousy .It is dangerous to trust a selfish woman.

Answer 120

If I were in your shoes I would never speak to her again. She’s your blood but blood relatives do not do what she did. She’s not to be trusted ever again near you or near your cat, daughter or your new bf.

Your kid will find out some day why you and daddy are no longer together and when she learn that her auntie is to blame and you have no problem with her for that; imagine the scenario.

You ex is a first class scum as a father and a husband so the hell with him.

Answer 121

Difficult one.....the worst betrayal...You say you can't pick up your relationship with her yet.....but you could keep the door open for later. Hatred hurts you more than her, so as soon as you can, try to forgive her....be the bigger person. Good luck...Mo

Answer 122

yea its up to u

answermien

Answer 123

its rare to find that your sister actually became your Eskimo sister....congrats

Answer 124

Reading this, I'm reminded of a pertinent quote by Maya Angelou: "When people show you who they are, believe them." Your sister has already shown you who she is. If that's someone you want in your life, then that's up to you.

Answer 125

Change your number, for one thing.

Answer 126

You cannot trust your sister or your husband. You deserve better than this, why would you want to allow these people back into your life, they are going to harm you again.



You deserve better. I would recommend you move on.

Answer 127

and this is why you don't get married at 21 to your high school BF.

Answer 128

oh hell naw!

Answer 129

NO! SHE RAN AWAY WITH UR HUSBAND TO FRANCE! LEAVING YOU WITH HIS CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!She knows what she signed up for right when this started!

Answer 130

NO WAY! If my sister did that to me I would ignore her and never let her in my life again! I know your hurting sweetie but it will get better. Do what you feel is right in your heart tho! and man, I can't even begin to imagine my sister doing that to me! OMG!

Answer 131

Yrs. But you shouldn't trust either of them.

Answer 132

If she is willing it would be.

Answer 133

I think you can forgive, but I would never ever forget....

Answer 134

no dont not yet

Answer 135

You're not being over dramatic what she did was terrible, let your sister into your little by little so you can gain each others trust

Answer 136

Forgiveness is up to you, your choice. The issue is also with your husband. Can you trust him from now on, as well as forgive him, too?

Answer 137

I don't think she deserves a sister card. I would pass.

Answer 138

If it was your co-worker you wouldn't......Sure okay but don't go out of your way!

Answer 139

stay away.leopards cant change their spots.

Answer 140

dont.

Answer 141

"I don't want to forgive her..." - Paul - speaking to his Christian brothers - told them that "whatever you bound on the earth, will be bound on heaven, and that which you unbound on earth, will be unbound in heaven", and I personally understand that, as meaning that - if you do not feel to forgive you are not blamed for that, and "it will not be bound in heaven" against you. The other way works reciprocally. So, do as you feel and your reasoning tells you to.



If your sister WOULD HAVE asked you for pardon, been repented or shown remorse for something she did that hurt you, that, would be a different history.



Since she cared not to ask your forgiveness, you are not obliged to do it, in my view.

Answer 142

I would never forgive someone that did something like that to me.

Answer 143

You can forgive, but not forget. Forgiveness does not mean that you necessarily trust her. Trust has to be earned. You can forgive her without letting her back into your life. You can say, "I forgive you. Now go away."

Answer 144

If I were you I will never Ever forgive.

Answer 145

Forgive the action. she will always be your sister. forewarn your new man.

Answer 146

Yes, we should forgive those who hurt us. It's hard, but for the best. I've had a lot of people who have hurt me, and believe me, it's not easy. What helps is learning what forgiveness actually IS. Forgiveness is NOT kissing the a**es of those who sh*t all over us. Forgiveness simply means "to cancel a debt" or waiver our "right" to "punish" those who have hurt us. It allows us to move on from the past.



To forgive does not mean to "forget". I can forgive those who hurt me, but cannot ever forget it.

Answer 147

Forgiveness is not forgetness. To forgive is to release the anger. To forget is to put yourself in the same situation again. She cheated with one husband already. No way should you let her even meet the next husband. Trade Christmas cards, done.

Answer 148

HELL NO!!! she's just crawling back cuz mark left her.

Answer 149

i just really dont know to say about this situation why is everyone so helpless???? dont forgive her

Answer 150

no

Answer 151

Well you can ignore her at this moment and don't think much about her. She is getting the result of what she sowed.

Answer 152

how do you ever exspect 2 b forgivin if you are unwilling 2 forgive

Answer 153

I would wait a few more years, then talk to her she

knew what she was doing when she messed around with your husband

Answer 154

dEPENDS ..WHAT STATE DO YOU LIVE IN??????

Answer 155

nahh **** that stupid hoe

Answer 156

THREESOMEEEEEEE!!!!



sorry

Answer 157

yes

Answer 158

Forgive but do not get inolved with either again

Answer 159

Uhh nope the thing about serious mistakes like that is that you don't make em in the first place.

Answer 160

dayum dunt talk to this bish again. NEVER.

Answer 161

Sorry to say, but for me this would be completely unforgivable.

Answer 162

Sadly there is to many ill endings such as this. May sound sick, but I travel to and from the Gulf of Thailand, my beautiful wife has her love buddy/s..2 extended relatives (safety here) and I have mine. We have a great relationship, keeping in mind truth, trust...AND '"IT IS NOT ABOUT THE CHARACTER IN THE ACT...BUT THE CHARACTER OF THE ACTOR"...Self Quote

Answer 163

Forgive her