Question:
I'm in love with my brother. What do you think about this?
Lena
2013-07-29 17:08:20 UTC
Hi, I'm 15 and my brother is 16. We have always been together and I'm so deeply in love with him, I never look other guys cause they can't be as flawless as he is. He's in love with me too... we fell in love when we were kids so.. yeah haha. And well I can say that I don't care what people can think about this, the only thing that really matters is what we feel inside. People could think that this is incest or whatever but we actually don't care, we love each other. I know we can't marry cause that's illegal, but we can live together and maybe in the future we could have kids, who knows. But I want to spend all my life by his side, he's the person who I really love and I'll do, FOREVER AND ALWAYS. So what do you think guys? Just give me your opinion, even if you think this is disgusting, just let me know. Thanks x
23 answers:
anonymous
2013-07-30 06:57:22 UTC
I think this is great. I know of other couples like you, some of them are much older now, and they're together and happy. I hope you will be free to marry sooner rather than later, if you do want to marry.



CONSENSUAL incest is not wrong. (Abuse victims: being abused by a relative does not make it wrong for others to have consensual incest, any more than rape by a stranger makes all sex wrong. Sex and assault/molestation are two different things.) An aversion became common in humans that aided in population growth as one disease couldn't wipe out the human race. That's not a problem anymore. Consensual incest is very common. You know other people who have been involved, whether you know it or not.



There is no rational reason for keeping laws or taboos against consensual incest that is consistently applied to other relationships. Personal disgust or religion is only a reason why one person would not want to personally engage in what I call consanguinamory, not why someone else shouldn't do it. An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY consenting adults. Youthful experimentation between close relatives close in age is not uncommon, and there are more people than you'd think out there who are in lifelong healthy, happy relationships with a close relative. It isn't for everyone, but we're not all going to want to have each others' love lives, now are we?



Some people try to justify their prejudice against consanguineous sex and marriage by being part-time eugenicists and saying that such relationships inevitably lead to “mutant” or “deformed” babies. This argument can be refuted on several fronts. 1. Some consanguineous relationships involve only people of the same gender. 2. Not all mixed-gender relationships birth biological children. 3. Most births to consanguineous parents do not produce children with significant birth defects or other genetic problems; while births to other parents do sometimes have birth defects. 4. We don’t prevent other people from marrying or deny them their reproductive rights based on increased odds of passing along a genetic problem or inherited disease. It is true that in general, children born to consanguineous parents have an increased chance of these problems than those born to nonconsanguineous parents, but the odds are still minimal. Unless someone is willing to deny reproductive rights and medical privacy to others and force everyone to take genetic tests and bar carriers and the congenitally disabled and women over 35 from having children, then equal protection principles prevent this from being a justification to bar this freedom of association and freedom to marry.



Some say "Your sibling should not be your lover." That is not a reason. It begs the question. Many people have many relationships that have more than one aspect. Some women say their sister is their best friend. Why can’t their sister be a wife, too?



Some say “There is a power differential.” This applies least of all to siblings or cousins who are close in age, but even where the power differential exists, it is not a justification for denying this freedom to sex or to marry. There is a power differential in just about any relationship, sometimes an enormous power differential. To question if consent is truly possible in these cases is insulting and demeaning.



Some say “There are so many people outside of your family." There are plenty of people within one’s own race, too, but that is no reason to ban interracial marriage. So, this isn't a good reason either. Let consenting adults love each other the way they want!
?
2014-07-23 08:46:54 UTC
Everyone has such "knowledge" to impart on this situation. Does anyone question why gay people like the same sex? Why we're predisposed to like certain people or enjoy certain things? You can't change who you are. And if you do, be prepared to struggle with yourself, for a long time. You can fake with and ignore what feels right, but you won't be happy. Do what you want, and simply live. That's the best advice I can give you.
Michael
2013-07-29 17:20:28 UTC
it is not disgusting, just a bit over the top.



You can love a sibling, deeply. This is quite common. Incest describes sexual acts between close blood relatives. Love and incest are different.



Your feelings will likely change when you meet other guys. But you have to give them a chance. If bro is always there and always the yardstick for measurement, it will be difficult. And you brother isn't really all that great is he? A lot of the things he does probably irritate you, yes?



You two are fortunate to have one another and hopefully you feelings will continue for your lifetime. Someday this can make your children, the cousins, very close as well.



But there are boundaries between brother and sister. You likely know this and need to respect them.
anonymous
2013-07-29 22:36:24 UTC
hey girl listen carefully what i am gonna tell u..i have read your story and all the comments over there..so i have this think for you:

You are very young and at the age of 15 you have not seen the world and so is your brother...May be becoz siblings think same both of you think similarly..you love each other it is fine untill the love is pure like the love with mother father and kids..that doesnt mean u love in that way that you will marry and have kids...No.. get this crap out of your mind... It is not only disgusting but it is sin also.. He should be thre to protect you and you should be there to care for him..but dont relate this relation with the one who marry and have kids...

I m sure this is just becoz your world is limited within each other..As u both will grow and get understanding much better and know the world and people around your opinion will change...

Hope soon u will find a nice guy and so your brother will have a girl..

gud luck
Pixiedust_920
2013-07-29 17:11:20 UTC
That' the same thing as saying you're in love with your father. It's gross, but I'm sure it's just a phase. :)
Noori
2013-07-31 12:20:55 UTC
I have a lot of questions



If you two break up then what, have thought about a plan B? You are in love and young, maybe you didn't considered that. How would you two deal with christmas and that sort of things? If your family is hearing about this, what happens?



Does your brother care bout this, that people make fun of him? Be sure, because if you plan a future then maybe it can be ruined by the opinions of others, people don't like different things .. You have to stand tight in your shoes and be convinced for 100% at all times. Does he think about the future? Make sure he thinks the same way, because if he is not, it can ruin also everything. Talk with him about this before you engage in lifetime commitment. What if you have a baby, he can't take it as his own, will you tell it who is the father? Or will you say that he is the Uncle? The kids will be teased when classmates find out, worse then gays, I hope you thought about that. You are just 15, maybe he is taking advantage to you, could that be? Is it brother love or real love? Maybe you are mixing them up, be 100% thinking about this. Do you have sex with him? Always be protected unless you want to have a chance on handicapped children while knowing it.



Think about it, everything I said. If you have plans for everything that I have pointed out, then you are good to go. You ask me about my opinion: I think it is definitely incest, and I try to think about you in your place but I can't even imagine that with my brother. But hey it's your life, I don't have to judge about it. Just I hope you are sure about where you are getting into. And about what you feel and what he feels. I hope that it won't be ruined by a big fight later in life because that will cause serious damage to all your family members, they have to pick a side, you avoid him, he avoids you. You get maybe a second love, he can get one too. Jealousy, anger, betrayel. Forever and always are big words, princess. You can't know where and with who you are going to be in later life. You can only hope. Maybe you two should spend more time apart and figure out what you two want. And about what I said. Think if you two go wrong, and when it goes right. What if one of you want kids? You can't have it with eatchother. Well it is difficult but it's a long way to go. Secretly I hope you don't plan on any kids just for their health and well being. Life can be great without children also.



I had a rough life myself, and I know what living in a difficult love relation feels like ... but nobody ever knows what to expect. You think I expected myself to be here in this place right now? No, when I was your brothers age, I loved deeply and blindly, had a difficult lovelife with my exboyfriend, thought I was going to marry him, opened up to him and gave him my heart and soul, he still haves pieces of it, I will never let him entirely go because he built my life as it is now. But the problems kept following me honeybee, Life took over. This age you think life is going to be easy and you spend your life with him. But sometimes, it's not like that, and you can be in serious problems that way.



It's your choice, or you continue having a life that is difficult and be maybe happy.

Or you continue and watch your problems take your life over.

Or you stop doing what you do and try to have love with another man, which is possible.



It's your choice, and I'm not going to judge you and say anything to get you in any direction. But I advice too think about it too much and choose wisely. So you can go anywhere ..
Nobody
2013-07-31 04:39:09 UTC
Hi Sora, I admire you for having the courage to be honest about your feelings. The only draw back to such a relationship is that you will have to hide it from family and friends if you plan on staying with each other for any length of time, and this can cause a lot of stress. If you need any support, please feel free to contact me on my profile and I wish you and your brother the best.
babang
2013-07-29 17:12:50 UTC
Ewwwwww omg I love my brother but not to the point that I want to marry him...when u said guys can't be as flawless as your brother, you are limiting yourself because there could be someone out there who could be just as good as your brother or maybe even better. You are still young and your hormones are at an all time high...so I think you should probably wait to make big decisions such as these and maybe date some guys that's not in your family ....I promise u will find a good guy.
Shannon
2016-03-17 06:02:49 UTC
Any relationship where the people are related is called incest. So if two sisters are in a relationship it would still be incest. However there is a difference between loving someone and being in a romantic relationship with them.
anonymous
2013-07-29 17:13:18 UTC
"People could think that this is incest or whatever but we actually don't care, we love each other." Goes ask Yahoo answers for opinion. *facepalm* IMO it's a little messed up but hey I've seen worst
anonymous
2013-07-30 21:20:51 UTC
Please, never let anyone tell you that what you feel is wrong. What you and your brother have is very special. Be aware that things could change, you are still young after all, but if you both stay together then I wish you good luck and hope you have a happy life together.
anonymous
2013-07-29 17:14:50 UTC
Ummm first of all UHHHH GROOOSSS DUUDE WTFFFF R U INSANE MAYBE U CAN LOVE UR BRO CUZ HE'S FAMILY BUT IN THAT WAY HONESTLY....I'm literally speechless it's disgusting and like ugh having kids? Ur planning on having sex too??? I think u should change ur opinion and look for someone to "love" cuz it's not meant to be ugh just plain gross if I were u -- I don't even know why someone would think of that that's just plain GROSS I mean u love ur bro? Common bros r disgusting blahhh wow u have no life I'm sorry not trying to be rude but u shouldn't think like that ugh I'm sorry not trying to be rude but....gross
Lollo Girl
2013-07-29 21:05:23 UTC
Why don't you use your brother as an ideal guy u want to marry.. Instead of marrying him..? Lol do ur parents know about this? O.o
Tera
2013-07-30 14:13:43 UTC
I suppose that's possible, but your children might have genetic problems because you two are so closely related...I hope your lives work out lol
TUT
2013-07-29 17:11:39 UTC
Good Luck, looks like a great life.
shutuppauface
2013-07-29 17:17:09 UTC
Trolololol.
Yami
2013-07-29 20:27:25 UTC
It happens, its healthy, socialy unethical.

Just don't let others know abt it
iCam
2013-07-29 18:29:48 UTC
Ummm be prepared to be sleeping with your loved bro in HELL, but your young youll get over it!
Orangutan
2013-07-29 18:28:25 UTC
Not sure if trolling or just stupid. . .



It is incest. Also IF you do have kids, their genetics will be messed up and they will suffer since there is no genetic diversity.
anonymous
2014-02-10 03:19:32 UTC
its ok but he is your brother...
BreadCat
2013-07-29 17:09:48 UTC
I think you have a perfect plan. :)
anonymous
2014-03-16 21:53:25 UTC
This is part 1.

Same thing happen to me with my twin sister. Me and my twin sister and I have always been close, we are the best of friends, and we always have each other's back. We are both 17 and almost turning 18. In school I was one of the most smartest ones in my class, and my twin sister was in the same classes of mine all throughout high school always, we always made sure we where always together, where nothing would ever tear us apart, just to of us side by side forever. My teacher had asked me if I would be so kind is to probably teach for while, because I was always knowing what i was doing with the work inside and out, from top to bottom. My twin sister has always looked up to me, like one of these times being, like teaching the class even thoe I'm a student not a teacher hehe, but that's one of the things she looked up to me on. I felt great when one day she admitted to me how are you so smart, and no everything you are doing inside and out of life, I told her um I don't really no, I guess just instinct I guess, not really sure if that was the best answer she was looking for, really had no idea in from how to answer that, maybe of course just me, never really knew how to answer that, wish I could. She then admitted that she has always looked up to me always, and she explained the details of how she admired me, and that I was her idol and hero. When she told me this, I was surprised, but made sense how she was always by my side always, and she was the one she always trusted at school and at home. In school, the other kids in my class and all throughout school always looked at her as the weirdest, and didn't understand her at all, they always thought of her like an outcast, where they did not want anything to do with someone like her. I could see this clearly from the other students of mine all through out my class and school. I told her one day to not pay attention to them or what they thought of you, just always look up at me, and pay your direct attention to me. They don't no you no, I do, so don't worry, I got your back buddy. That day right before school after I told her that, she felt way better, like a whole new student walking into school, because I told her to just stick by my side, where you and me both can look after one another always, and if something did happen and we weren't beside one another, our twin radar will go off jk hehe. As I was doing the whole, pretending like I was a teacher role for a bit, story became my favorite student right away, probably because where always looking out for each other and where the best of friends ever to the end :). One day when finishing up grading papers, I told my sister to just waiting for me outside near the back of the school until I was done, I said to her. It was just near the end of school, where everyone was walking home, and I and my sister where gonna walk home like we always do together. As I was just few mins almost done grading my peers papers, of a test we did earlier that day in one of my classes. All the sudden out of no where, these four guys start to walk near my sister, and not sure if they where coming back from skipping classes since beginning of period one, or maybe they just got out of school, not entirely sure. They saw my sister standing by herself outside one of the doors of the school near the back. As I just finished grading my peers papers, I decided to go out the very back door not side, because the very back was the closest door near the classroom I was in while grading the papers. I go out the very back of the door, to meet my sister around the corner. I find four guys chasing my sister around the side parking lot of the side back door she went out to wait for me. The four guys where guys I saw around school, and they where the type to be bullies, and they where the regular type of rebels guys who would try pulling something so low as such as this. They caught her and shoved her down really hard onto the hard pavement ground, and then the four started to corner her. I don't no what they where gonna do to her, but was not gonna let someone lay a hand on my sister like that. I stepped in not knowing what I could do to get them away from my sister. I did what any kind of person would do, just went for it, because this was my twin sister that we where talking about, when it comes to her in danger, no one, or anything will hurt her, not when I'm there to always back her up :). Anyway I ran straight for the four guys, and pushed one of them down of the four that was making a perfect circle around her. As I got in the perfect moment where I could get in there and protect my sister from harm without them doing anything else to her. I didn't care if they did something to me, just don't want them putting a hand on her. As I came in just in the nick of time, she was so glad to see me, she had tears in her eyes, and I felt sick seeing her petrified in fear. Then I said what the hell do you guys want from her, if you guys think your being big shots, you no the regular bullie crap, then take it out on me, leave my sister alone. I did not no was I was doing, but I wasn't gonna let them hurt my twin sister, not on my life. One of them said of what you some kind of angle coming to rescue her from harm, something like that, I said sure if you wanna out it that way. Doesn't matter what the hell you think I am, or what I'm doing to protect this girl from harm, what I'm doing is protecting my sister from harm from idiots like you. I was starting to little scared myself, they where gonna do something bad to me and my sister, but I didn't care this isn't our deal here, had to get out of this situation, before it got worse. I didn't no what to do exactly, then luckily the teacher that made me the fill in teacher of one of my classes, came out to look for me to make sure i graded those papers ok. He saw that me and my sister where in some kind of trouble, and he cleared everything up, knowing what was going on here. He just saved us from whatever they where gonna do to her :). I felt so glad, I felt like billions of butterfly's where going through my entire body, it was not a nice feeling to feel something horrible is gonna happen to you. After that was all done and over with, the bullies just booked it off the property, like nothing happened. Our teacher asked if we where ok and needed anything, I said it's ok just so glad you came when you did, he said of course don't haft to say anything guys really don't say anything at all, he was one of the best teachers you would ever see :). I said I'm just gonna take my sister home right away. He understood what I meant and let me safely let me and my sister go home, I new it was safe to go home, they won't come back to finish what they started I hope, and they didn't of course, thank god! I helped my sister up from the hard pavement ground, and she looked at me with a kind of strange but very thankful look on her face. She looked at me, and I smiled with a huge smile back at her, and then she hugged me so tightly saying thank you so much for coming to my aid. I said what any other person would that did what they had to do to protect someone they thought needed help, why wouldn't I, no one lays a hand on you, I don't care if I get beat up, I'll take the beating for you this isn't your problem it's mine. That's how much I'll go to the brink of death for her, she's my twin sister my best friend ever :). As I helped my sister up, we went straight home fast, where we where just gonna forget what happened there that day, those four idiots aren't even worth it trust me.
anonymous
2014-03-16 22:52:52 UTC
Here's part 2

As we got home, she was pretty quiet the whole way walk home. When I got home with my sister I sat her down on one of the couches in my family room, where she can take a breathier and relax in peace after what had happen. Few hours later after watching hours of t.v. Me and my sister decided to sleep in the our family room where we could have like camp out she said just the two of us. I said of course sounds like fun, my sister was still little edgy after what happened even after watching hours of t.v. with me. She decided to sleep on the same couch where me and her watched hours of t.v. together on, and I would sleep on the floor directly beside her on the couch she was on. I said I'm right here if you need me ok, she looked at me with such a glad look on her face, I felt good inside that she was safe finally. As we where about to go to sleep, my sister asked if I would hold her hand while she fell asleep, I said whatever you need. As She grabbed my hand, everything was looking perfectly all right with her. As my sister started to shut her eyes, and I was about to drift off to sleep while and her where holding each other's hand. She opened her eyes, and looked at her's and my hand, she smiled and squeezed my hand super tightly, like a hard grip. She then pulled my hand over to here cheek area of the pillow she was resting here whole head on, and she started to sleep with her's and my hand right tightly up against her face, like someone would do with a stuffed animal that was really close to them. I noticed that she pulled my hand and her hand right to her face area. I looked up to see what she was doing, and saw she was was swaying my hand back and forth against her cheek back and forth. I didn't think about much of when she held my hand and used it as like a stuffed animal. Thought she was just feeling safe. Didn't no it was something totally different. A lot happened after that, like she would walk home with me like always, and she would want to hold my hand every time we would walk anywhere really. She would also try to wrap she arm around mine, like I've seen couples do, then she would while doing that, would rest her head onto my shoulder, she was like trying to cuddle up against me i guess while we where walking home from school. I looked down at her while she was doing that, I didn't think much it was really that, I thought that really it was just her in her own way of showing how she finally felt close to someone. I mean she always felt close to me, but this was different, it was more like affection in that way. I just then thought it was just my sister being who she is in a feeling I'm glad i feel safe around my brother where nothing can hurt me kind of way :). It was pretty much the same with all that in every way almost every day for the past couple of weeks. It started to feel weird to me thoe, why is she getting really attached to me. Finally week later after me starting to get little weird, like the sister i no that I was close to felt like she was changing a lot all the sudden into a whole new person in the whole different way. We got home one day, and I noticed she was really eager about something, like she wanted to tell me something, but she could not for some reason. Finally after like 30 seconds, she just burst out and kissed me on the cheek, and after she felt so embarrist of what she just did. I looked at her shocked like what was that for. She explained that, that day when I was trying to save her from those bullies, she instantly fell in love with me. I looked at her when she told me this, and I was shocked, and she looked at me with an upset look on her face. She told me that for those couple of weeks was hard for me, she said she was trying to figure out these feeling she was feeling, it was really taring her apart. She was always torturing herself of how and what I would think about when I would find out. She said how much it felt how someone saved me like that, she explained that's the soul reason for why she feel in love instantly with me. She said no one was ever gonna come and help me, but you where the only one that I new that would. I feel sick saying this thoe, that everyone didn't want anything to do with her, and if they saw her about to get trapped by a group of bullies, then they wouldn't do anything, and there was few people, and no one would do anything. I was the only one that came to her rescue. I could always see that, but that why I said don't worry just follow me and keep your eyes on me, just ignore anyone else, i'll always been there for you in and out of all things for you when ever you need it. That's what I told it that day before any of this happened. I felt sick to my stomach of how if I wasn't there to help her and the teacher was not there, and no other student that was just standing there, didn't want anything to do with her, guys there's four guys about to do something to my twin sister you idiots, good thing I was there. I felt so disgusted when I say no one helping her out. I could careless, I'm glad the only one that did was me :). Even to this day it still bother's me, but that's in the past and me and her are always together as one :). I just didn't no why no one other then the teacher and me would do something, like all students where brain dead. Anyway, after she told me all that stuff that happened right after I tried to save her from those bullies. I felt kind of glad, and understood right away, and why that is?. It made sense the way she was kind of acting in that way, I mean I started to notice it after little while, but thought it was her just being in safe mode and found the one she wanted to always be around, but if I new that she was going through the torment of her not telling me the truth of the feeling that she had for me after that day, I would of told her that I would always understand anything that she has hidden from me, even that. After I told her that I understood and new something was up the way she was acting, she ran straight at me and hugged me so tightly, the tightest that she has ever done before. She told me how a relief it was to get this off my shoulders. How much I've been wanting to hug you like this since you tried saving me from those bullies that day. I felt really happy for her that it turned out this kind of way, made me feel happy that she found her true feelings from within, and found the right sort of people to be near :). Made me feel so great as her twin brother to no that from now on she and me will be ok, like it has always been, but better then ok :). After she hugged me for like two minutes so tightly, I sat down with her, as she can tell me the rest of what she has been hiding from me, and just how much she is in love with me. Fifteen minutes later of extreme detail of all the stuff she wanted to tell me. She said how right after she fell in love with me, few days past and the feelings started to rapidly get stronger to the point where she wanted me to like her back in that way, and stuff like be a couple and then even wanted to marry me right away. I felt really like wow, those are the feelings that poured out from within you in that short amount of time. She told you have no idea what i felt right away, she said it was like you where my shinning knight in armour coming to rescue me, or like some superhero coming in to safe the girl. when she told me that, I felt like um I not sure what to see, but I said I think it's beautiful, because I understood my twin sister so much, and it was her that was saying it not some random stranger. If to a random stranger said that, of course I would understand, but it felt different when my sister said it, because me and my sister are like the yin and yang, we are as completely as one. She told me lots of stuff after that, but one of the same near all of that and stuff like that, she asked me if I would ever wanna marry her one day, or like her in that way in the least. I didn't no what to say, but I don't like you in that way, I only like you as my awesome twin sister, who I love and adore so much, and that s my best friend, to the end of all times :). She then felt really sad inside that I didn't feel the same way to here. I apologized that I could not give what she wanted to receive. She said to me that it's not your fault, you can't help you you don't like me in that way I understand. I did tell her something that gave her hope in this situation. Since we are close like that and I'm not saying anything, because I'm not exactly sure on this but, you never know what can happen in existence I told her. I might just one day feel the same way. She looked at me and her expression on her face turned from sad to full of joy. She gave me a huge hug again telling me how thankful she is about that, because you have no idea how much I wanna marry you she said. I said well you never can tell, I said back at here, with feeling little nervous, and said no I'm not feeling nervous this is my twin sister I'm talking about here. At same time I could understand till end of time in every way possible but also could not help to be nervous about all this, I mean my twin sister that I love and adore, not in that way, just told me that she is in love with me. Anyway that's what happened to me in related sorts. Sorry if this was super long just this is exactly what happened. This happened two years ago exactly to this day, me and my twin sister are almost 20, and where all fine, but I did promise to kiss her on the cheek every birthday we share together since where twins born on the same day, to remind her that she hates that I don't love her in that way, but at least I'm giving something back to give her hope in that kind of thing :).


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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