what should i do? i want to die or be happy?

Question

monday-friday
i wake up feeling like **** wanting to just die cus i have to find the energy to get up and go to school i dont know how i do it i just want to die thinking about it. first period its gym and i dont talk to anyone still trying to find the energy to ge tthru the day i just wana be alone but the dumb team games and **** make to so hard and every1 is so happy when they dont even no **** there dumb ******* kids who go thru life listening to what people say and think there all hard and that normal people are dumb and that there better then them idiots. next period is not to bad just go in and do dumb **** on the computer the only time i get mad is when they ask me to do something on life like a bio poem or to pick ur favorite thing to do and Type about it like **** off pick a topic for me like turtles why u got to make me think about the **** i wanna type. th next 3 periods are study hall and i just sleep thru them mostly thinking about life and how ima live the next week. next period is science and i dont talk to any1 just kind of **** off the teachers an idiot and **** all the freshman in the class dumb motherfuckers next period is math and its easy class cus its math for tards i got put there for falling way behind cus i have no intrest in doing homework anyways all the kids in that class are ******* retarded and will ******* never ggrow up and face the music next period is global studies just listen to the teacher and ignor the people around me then engilsh i havnt done anything the whole year cus the teacher is a dumb ***** who just tells storys about her useless life and sad average family that no1 cares about. i get a ride with my sister and her firend **** it. i get home my sister might try and talk to me but i will ignor her cus i dont trust her and want nothing to do with her. i go on my computer till what ever time i want and go to sleep. oh yeah i only eat one meal a day im never hungry dont no might die some day from not eating not that any1 will care.
friday night-and saturday night i will go and get drunk and smoke weed and do drungs with my friends.... i dont think they are freinds not like they wana hang when i got no money or no1 ever askd me whats wroung not like i no but would telling some1 help i dont no.
sunday/my parents
on sunday my dad will call me to come over to my grandmas i dont want to go but i just doit becuase my sister tells him she has home work witch just means my moms going out and she stays home with her boyfriend whos a complete *** hole and just likes her ***. i no my dad wants to die becuase he has nothing left but me and my sister he once told me the reason my mom devorcied him was because she was not geting enough love from the family cus all i would do is hide and never go on vaction or do anything with them so that means im the reason my dad hates his life is liveing with my grandma and is all alone going to hospitals every other week trying to be happy but he wont he was married for 22 years and she just dumpd him out of no where to be with another guy with his daugther who my mom spends every day with doing dumb **** my mom told me the plan was when my sister graduateds highschool this year she wants to move to flordia but she noes im not comeing with her so ima live where? i have my aunt who just sent her kids to collage and dosnt need me around the house or sleep at my grandmas house wheres there allready a lot of people and no beds as of right now my mom told me we can stay in the house until spring and that where going to live with my aunt when the time comes but i no she can afford the house for longer but she wants to stop paying for it in hope that he new boyfreind will take he in and sh can live happy ever after with her new family that loves her and will do dumb **** that we wont. when this all happends i hopw to have a job and find some1 to share rent on a small apartment and i wont ever have to talk to her agian just be on my own and find happyness some where else just as she did. but i dont think i can go thru with all this i might just kill myself and not have to think or feel anything agian.

Answer 1

It sounds like you are kind of close to your dad. I know that alot of kids don't talk to their parents about real feelings but Now would be a good time to start. It is absolutely Not your fault that your parents split up.

Alot of people have issues and problems, but everyone deals with them in different ways. Some act Happy when they aren't. All that you should be concerned with is yourself and your family. Get things straight. Stop any and all drugs. Now

You need to start having self respect, be open with your family and make them see how You feel. Also, you probably do not know the entire story of what has happened between your parents. So stop assuming that you know until they are open and honest with you.

Start talkin with a counselor to help get your head on straight too. Suicide is never the answer.

Answer 2

I would care if you died, maybe you won't believe that but I think you should since you have no reason not to. Your dad only has you I think he would care, and so would your grandma and aunt. Life gets better if you give it a chance, try focusing on your homework yes it is the worst invention on the education world but prove to everyone you can go way farther then anyone, if you want to get away from your mom and show her how awesome you are go for college. You can go past her in life and never look back. Killing yourself may seem nice to finally sleep I know I get that, but its the most ****y choice there is and would make you way more retarded then the kids in your class. I think you should get some help from some teachers maybe join a sport its not hard to change if you go for it, if you try. I'm 13 I was in depression for a long time I thought about suicide but I decided not to do it because not only would my pets, grandparents, and brothers miss me but I would miss them to. I would miss looking at the sky and thinking how much I loved it or the taste of chocolate after a tough day. Please don't result to suicide its not the right choice it never will be. Try to bear with it thats what I did and it got better I alone made it better (I got myself out of it with no help from anyone, no medicine nothing) I think you should try getting active in a sport or music something that does interest you. (If the only thing that interested you, although I doubt its the ONLY thing, is alcohol think about bar tending how cool it would be when your flipping bottles and people stare in aw.)



I think you can go through all of it and when its over you'll be shocked how good it feels to have made it through, if you want someone to trust I've been told I'm trustworthy you can email me at [e-mail] if you don't want to thats ok to, although I hope you do.





Please don't kill yourself or be so sad, take a day (a least just one day) to be optimistic your breathing, your learning, your seeing people how they are now, you have an opinion. With time rushing us through our lives you may miss things that are so important a smell, a tree, a color, the sky, a laugh, a smile, love, crying, grass under your bare feet, and so many more. Take time to just look around there' so many things around you that makes life way worth living, including food maybe your not hungry but if you eat so little then you must have time to eat for taste. I think you should stop with all the drugs and drinking it won't help the situation, try to replace it with things you may like such as music which can help you feel better or relate. Although its best to try and do things ourselves sometimes a little hand from someone else could be the biggest gift in the world.





I hope to hear from you soon and you pick to live and learn to be happy if you don't already know it, their is always a good side and always a reason. Sometimes to see it we have to prove we deserve it first :)

Answer 3

Stop thinking emo.

Get out there theres a whole world to explore, and if you have to, just explore it your own, no friends or something, but whenever you get a girlfriend, and you really are in love, you'll never ever think of suicide again.

I still think the world sucks, and I do alot, cause it's all just one big circle, but no matter what, your death wont change it. It'll only make the people that care bout you sad.

So no suicide = getting laid. ;)

Answer 4

please email me at [e-mail]

i'd really like to help you.