My gay son is getting married. Am I doing the right thing?

Question

My son's getting married in the fall and my husband and I have decided we do not want to attend. We disagree with his lifestyle and do not want to witness the biggest mistake of his life. However friends of mine seem to think we are being ridiculous and I'm starting to wonder if we are doing the right thing or not.

Answer 1

Honey, he IS the son you've loved & raised all of his life so far. You MUST STILL love him regardless of his life style. I have 3 adult children. My youngest Son is gay. He has the best Partner everyone thinks the world of. This is the life he chose for himself. BTW, being gay is NOT by choice, it IS the way he was born with a specific gene. My Son entered a "Union" with his Partner 3 yrs. ago now. We ALL went to his Union. I sat & cried as I did for his brother & sister's weddings. They have THE BEST relationship I've ever seen. Never fight, instead they compromise on situations that come up in their lives. I've often said, if more marriages were like theirs, there would be fewer divorces. I feel if you do not attend his "Union", in the future you will live to regret it. It's something you can never "take back". Think about this in all seriousness & of the love you do have for your own son regardless of all else. I trust you do the rite thing for ALL involved...best to you, honey...:)

Answer 2

No you are not doing the right thing, unless you just want to hurt his feelings very much. In that case you would be doing the right thing.



However, if you can remember for a moment that you love your son, and that you really don't know everything, then you can also remember that you supported your son when he was only 3 years old and exploring the world, and you supported your son when he was starting school, and you supported your son when he was in high school - and the whole time he was just trying his best to figure out how to put meaning into his life.



But now, you suddenly withdraw your support, because you think this is a mistake, but that all the millions of other people getting married ARE NOT making a mistake.



I think marriage is a mistake for everybody, but for the love of your son - go to his wedding since you were invited! You could permanently damage your relationship if you don't show up. Basically, you are asking your son to choose between his parents and a person he loves. You are going to lose that contest - and regret it.



Just show up and have a good time.

Answer 3

I guess the best decision would depend on which paradigm you want to follow. On one had, you could just integrity and actually sticking to your personal beliefs, despite having a huge amount of people tell you otherwise and your son being the one that makes the choice. On the other hand, not showing up would more than likely cause undo problems with your relationship with your son; and since you're asking this question, I'm guessing that both of you don't like each other.



What would I do? If I felt that strongly about it, then I wouldn't go; I would rather have my integrity than blindly agree with peers or the majority opinion.. However my family is terrible, and I take every chance I can to avoid having to deal with any of them, and I wouldn't go even if I didn't have a problem with who or what they were marrying.

Answer 4

You do what you think is right, even though I don't agree. But you will probably be uncomfortable if you and your husband attend the wedding, since you're both uncomfortable with his "lifestyle." There will be a lot of gay couples, which means you won't fit in anyway. Do wish him the best, but let him know you can't attend. Don't burn any bridges by criticizing or reprimanding him so it leaves the door open should you and your husband change your minds in the future. Good luck.

Answer 5

go or don't it's your choice. keep in mind that his life is his to live how he chooses and with whom he chooses, you'll only be missing out on what is the first of many huge events in his life. miss his wedding, then the birth or homecoming of his first child. then miss out on your grandbaby, those are all your prerogatives. he's going to love whom he loves whether you like it or not, no use in losing your son over your idea of an ideal lifestyle. when instead you could be gaining something so wonderful, a son in law and everything that entails. if you don't want to go then you absolutely are doing the right thing, for you. he's going to do the right thing for him no matter your opinion or absence. eventually you and your husband will be left on the outside of his life, looking in and you will have no one to blame but yourselves. you can't ignore him into being heterosexual or living life how you think he should. you don't have to approve of his life style but he's not asking you to, he probably just wanted his mom and dad at his wedding, stupid him. huh.

Answer 6

Tolerance, Tolerance this is what the world have come to. You have allow this to happen. Your job as a parent was to raise him to see and know the different from his youth up, that your God given responsibility. (1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:5) This may have impressed upon your young ones what is pleasing and not pleasing to Jehovah.

putting his mind in a child requires more. Children need help to reason on the value of Jehovah’s laws. They need to be convinced that his laws are right and good and that obeying them is the proper and loving thing to do. Only if you reason with your children from the Scriptures so that they accept God’s viewpoint can it be said that you have put his mind in them.

Answer 7

He is and will always be your son, and blood and flesh. And even if its wrong you must not shun him or shy away from being his Mom. He needs you and there may come a day he will choose to not be and remain gay or he may always be gay. But be strong and chin up..... YOUR HIS MOM and how could you turn your back on him? Pray to God to give you strength and forgive your son for going against your beliefs. GOD FORGIVES ALL OF US..... Best of luck to your family and hope it ALL gets better for you. :-)

Answer 8

You don't want to attend his wedding because you guys are homophobes? Good for him, not you and your husband. He doesn't need you if you think he's making a mistake. Don't say bs like "I'm so sorry for not attending your wedding" later when you regret the whole thing.

Answer 9

He's your son hun and i think it's sad. You cant change him or who he is and this is his choice whether it be a mistake or not. Whether you agree or not I think you should support him and give them your blessing otherwise you may lose him for good.

Answer 10

He is your son, love is love, how does it directly effect your life? Your refusal to attend his wedding will likely destroy your relationship with him forever. Love him, support him, and who cares who he marries, shouldn't you be happy for him.

Answer 11

why does it matter if you dont agree with his lifestyle? good luck making up for not being there for him in probably the biggest day of his life.

Answer 12

As his parent, it is your duty to stand behind him and his decisions. You may not like them buthe is an adult and needs to follow his heart.

Answer 13

Forget what people say here. Right is never easy or popular. You stand for something. He didn't bother to "honor" his mother and father....he chose his alternative lifestyle. That's his right, but it comes with consequences. This is one of them. I wouldn't go. As of matter of fact I haven't talked to close relative in over 10 yrs because "she came out". She's been married twice, had 3 kids, and decided to try gay. A bunch bs if you ask me.



Ask these same people would they support their son if he married a mass murderer? married a terrorist organization? married a goat?........afterall love is love, right?

Answer 14

Leave him the fck alone !!! Or drive him away forever !!