please give me your advice!!!!!!?

Question

Does a psychiatrist really help when you have depression and anxiety. My parents are alcoholics what my depression and anxiety oils down to is my mother. I am 21 years old and want a mom. I wanna be ale to talk to her. And she is always in the bottle in her own world and thiere isnt one thing i can do about it. What should i do i am already on alot of medication for it... I have bought a house about 3 months ago with my bf of 7 years and i want my mom to be appart of it. I have been keeping a secret for months now and it really hurts me that i have to keep this a secret. I dont like lying. We are remodeling the whole house and we dont live in it yet. I want someone to talk to about everything. My bf is excellent he takes great car of me. Its not the same as having a mom to talk to. If any one has expiernce with this please tell me your story and the out come of everything please. Thanks so much.

Answer 1

I grew up in a family where my parents were alcoholics. You can go to a Al-anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics group. You should be able to find your local chapter online by doing a search. It doesn't cost anything except your time.

Do you identify with the following?:

1. Fear of losing control. ACoAs maintain control of their feelings and behavior. In addition, they try to control the feelings and behavior of others. They do not do this to hurt themselves or others, but because they are afraid.......

2. Fear of feelings. Since childhood and continuing as adults, ACoAs have buried their feelings (especially anger and sadness). In addition, they’ve lost the ability to feel or express emotions freely. Eventually they fear all intense feelings, even good ones such as joy and happiness.

3. Overdeveloped sense of responsibility. ACoAs are hypersensitive to the needs of others. Their self-esteem comes from how others view them. They have a compulsive need to be perfect.

4. Guilt feelings. When ACoAs stand up for themselves instead of giving in to others, they feel guilty.....

5. Inability to relax/let go/have fun. Having fun is stressful for ACoAs, especially when others are watching. The child inside is terrified; exercising all the control it can muster to be good enough just to survive.....

6. Harsh, even fierce, self-criticism. ACoAs have very low self-esteem, regardless how competent they may be in many areas.

These are just a few characteristics of an adult child of an alcoholic.



My mother was an alcoholic but not a real bad one, I imagine like all diseases there are different levels. She was able to be a mother to me. But what I didn't realize is children of alcoholics take on certain personalities that can be bad for us and those around us, even if we don't drink.

I've listed some websites below that may help you.

My brother, even tho he is not an alcoholic, has taken on a abusive personality. He directs it toward me and his wife. Several times I have had to cut him out of my life just to have peace of mind. You may have to come to the conclusion that your mom will never be the mother you need and accept it. You may have to cut her out of your life just so you don't have to be medicated all the time. Unfortunately, she loves the alcohol more than anything else.

If you know who her doctor is, you may let him know that she is an alcoholic. If she's having surgery, she is going to be getting a general anesthesia and the anesthesia is broken down in the liver and kidneys. If those aren't functioning properly, she may run into trouble.

I have had some good therapist. But the thing about seeing a therapist is the expense. If you can afford it, I'd say go but also go to the ACOA meetings.

When you go to these help groups, it's not going to make your mom change, and it's not going to show YOU how to get her to change, it's going to help you change your thought process and learn how to accept people for who they are, how to deal, how to work on your own faults and decide if you want to keep the people who are hurting you in your life.

I wish you luck. Being a child of an alcoholic is very hard.

Answer 2

I've been there. You don't have a mom right now, and you can't control that, or her drinking. You need to start attending al-anon meetings immediately. This group will help you understand that you are not alone. You are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (or ACA) and there is a lot of help for you. Many books on the subject. Like I said the meetings with other ACA's will help a lot. Go online and search Al-ANON/ ACA to get a listing of specific meetings in your area that pertain to children of alcoholics. The meetings are free. I also suggest that you wean off the psych meds and begin seeing a family therapist who specializes in the treatment of children of alcoholics. You taking medication won't help you or your mom. You accepting that your mom is very sick and you are powerless against it will.

Answer 3

Get in touch with your local alcoholics anonymous group and ask about the group for friends/family of alcoholics and join them. The problems you are having are bound up in the fact that your mom is an alcoholic and that's not something you are going to change all on your own. Try very hard to get her to go to AA and let her know how her drinking is affecting you, but you go even if she won't.

Answer 4

Be there for her and check out and get her to speak to her mother and father... By her speaking to them offers her extra choices on wether or now not she needs to preserve it and even adoption she has extra choices now than she is going to later. Her mother and father will uncover out finally simply be certain it isn't to past due. And be a well pal and check out and support/consultant her to make the offerings she needs and now not what someone "needs" her to do considering the fact that she am has to manage it in a while in lifestyles it doesn't matter what she comes to a decision... And like the woman earlier than stated her mother and father will develop to the notion and sure there is a hazard they're going to unfastened it however the will not do any harm her or the little one. So inspire her to make her choices that allows you to improvement her ultimately.

Answer 5

I feel the same way with my dad. When i was younger he always treated me poorly. I felt like he didnt love me and it was hard. But whenever i needed someone to talk to i would talk to my friends. They were my savors. I was also really close to my brother. When i was thirteen i had a close friend commit suicide, and i was able to talk to my brother. I know wierd. but he helped me through it. I know it must be hard not to have a mom, but you might need to find someone to talk to. My brother was almost like my dad figure. And you might want to offer help to ur mom. Hope this helped!

Answer 6

i think a psychiatrist would help, slow down on the meds and go on vacation, take a break do stuff for yourself