Heres the deal...7 yrs ago my grandmother passed away and it was really hard on all of us but mostly on my mom. She was getting ready to move in with my grandmother to help her out but never had the chance. After she died she had no where to live (she had sold her house to live with my grandmother). At the same time it just so happened that my husband and I were looking to buy a house. She offered us the down payment in return for her living with us. At the time it was fine. She was still working so she was not here all the time. Also, we had two small children and it was nice to have the extra help since my husband and I both worked full time. But now is a different story, both the kids are in school and I have a job that allows me to work from home about 50% of the time. My mother retired a couple of years ago and just sits around the house all the time!!! She has never been a big help with taking care of the house but now that she is home all the time it would be nice for her to contribute somehow. Her health is declining and she refuses to take care of herself but she is not so old that she can't take care of herself she just won't. I am having a really hard time with my children watching someone that has become very lazy and therefore her health is going down hill fast, I don't want them to pick up any of these habits. The only way my husband children and I can have any time alone is if we leave out house. I have not been in my own home alone in two years. My husband and I have a very strong relationship but I don't know how long it will continue in our current situation. I know that she helped us out financially when we bought the house but considering that she has not contributed toward the household expenses since then I think her initial investment may be over extended. I am feeling alot of guilt and stress about this and just need to know if any has any ideas how to ask my mother to move without ruining our relationship. Although the longer she stays the closer to ruining our relationship we are.