is it normal to hate your brother like this? Do i need help?

Question

He thinks that he is always right and a jackass. He is 24 been having problems with him since 16 and does not have a job just got out of jail after 3 months for marijuana. he most of the time curses at my parents and i even got to fist to fist fights with him. but last week he took it too far when he got into a fight with my dad and said that he wish he would die which a whole lot of rage built inside me. Which the only thing i could think of is that the day that my dad dies thats the day that i murder him and i put about 5 bullets in his head which is just a sick fantasy i have about killing him should anything happen to my dad he is a nice guy. i have a girlfriend and i am going to school for graphic design. my girl is saying do not let him get to you he is just a jerk with no brain. she said she would suggest that i see a therapist she said do not worry about him and just remember this what goes around comes around. do i need help? should i see a therapist? do i need jesus more? should i forgive my brother for what he said?

Answer 1

Your brother is who he is. Nothing you do will change that, and your girlfriend couldn't be more right.

My "ex-brother", as I like to call him, tortured me when we were kids. He's 7 years older than I am, so you can see he was twice

as old and twice as big as I was.

I asked the dips**t for an apology when he was 53. You know what he said? "I'm not going to apologize for being a kid!" Yeah; way to show some maturity, huh?

Fantasies do no harm; they're only a problem if they're acted upon.

I found therapy to be very helpful in order to regain not only my self-respect and self-esteem, but to get my personal power back and not let his issues run me down.

When our mom died 5 years ago, I was able to brush him off, and it won't be too soon if I never see, or hear from, again. I encourage you to do the same. It's a real boost to the self-esteem!

Answer 2

Ignore Miss independant's comments. It don't matter what color they are. It depends who they are.



Your brother is a messed up person, got alot of angers within himself and probably envy you b/c you chose to be on the right road. He prob wanted to but chose the other road b/c he have low self esteem and does need help. The only person who can change is himself, you can always leave leaftlets lying around for him to find. That's a good way of hinting that he need help. Your parents should find ways to help him but at the mo, it sounds like your bro resent your father, maybe your father prefer you? It's ok if it's not true. I don';t know the whole story, this is just what could be the reason.



Anyway never mind him, I don't know if it's normal to think about your bro' like that but can see you are very very angry with your brother and want the whole things to end b/c none of your family need those hassles. Your girl is right, try not to let him get to you, life's too short.



As miss independant says, why not use a family therapist to help you lots out incl. your bro'.? If your bro wont join in, keep encouraging him with no pressures and leave it at that. I ain't in2 church 100% but Jesus is on your side, stay strong. True about what goes around comes around. If u forgive your bro, you will be able to move on with less anger and concentrate better at college, good luck with your course, I do graphic design myself - i envy you cuz i am stuck at home twiddling my thumbs!! lol

Answer 3

You may need help if you're beginning to get these so-called "sick fantasies" about killing your brother.

Reason?



Well, by human nature, we act upon impulse, not upon thought. So you see, there is a subtle animalistic nature in humans. Seeing a counselor may be able to set your head straight.



You may also want to sit down and talk to your parents about this, but be assertive.



You worry about him because you worry about your family, because you feel like you have to protect your family from him, since he is intent in breaking the family apart with his actions. That's understandable, but you cannot change him.



It is good to forgive, but also take action.Your brother obviously has a lack of responsibility.

Answer 4

Not to be racist but looking at your picture I'm going to Guess that you're black. Majority of black families don't get a long. But yeah that is going a little too far in what he has done, and it seems immature fore someone his age. You guys as a family should get help with a family theorist. It will make things easier.

Answer 5

Let me tell you something what I have been through with my piece of s*** older brother, he has tortured me since when I was a kid, and he acted like he can beat up anyone to make himself look tough. Well let's put it this way I'm Afghan and with Afghan society some I meet love their brother but look at my brother he has always pushed me out of the way and wanted to get full attention, he backstabbed me, and ruined most of my childhood. He would tell me not to follow him and told every other kid about me especially this person I don't like he told that person that I stole things from school. Basically I grew up in a corrupted family. My brother didn't taught me how to fight he taught my younger brother how to fight. He pushed me out of the way and brought my younger brother to talk with my cousins. You see where I am getting at he has this bad thing inside of him. That's why I don't go to his house anymore because he always avoids me.

Answer 6

ur girlfriend sounds like she knows what shes talking about u should listen to her best of luck m360