Why won't my mom won't let me go to sleepovers?

Question

My mom is a total freak, but i'm mostly okay with it since she's bulgarian and most bulgarians are weirdos to begin with ;) but she's really starting to get on my nerves. She never lets me go to sleepovers! I am 13 and in the 7th grade. I am a cheerleader and am very pretty if i do say so myself and i am also very popular. being popular i get invited to a lot of sleepovers because i am very fun to have at a party and i have a lot of friends. But whenever i get invited to one my mom immediately says "ask the finger!" then wiggles her winger "no" it drives me insane because she treats me like i'm four! i have never slept over at anyone house in my entire life and my friends are always complaining and telling me "you're mom is retarded sleepovers are really fun!" while i wish they wouldn't call her retarded i wish she would let me go to sleepovers. she technically does let me go but she always makes my dad come get me at like 10 so "i can be home at least an hour after bedtime" it's really embarrassing and my friends always act like i'm killing the party when i leave since i kind of am the party :) i have tried reasoning, begging, bargaining NOTHING IS WORKING!! here is her argument:

-what if they don't switch the batteries in their fire detectors and there is a fire and you all die?!
-what if they have a dog and they attack you?!
-i don't know what kind of people live in her neighborhood what if there is a phycopath who forgot to take his medicine?!
-there is no reason to sleep at someone Else's house you can party then come home and sleep in your own bed!
-sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bed is disgusting!
-I never went to sleepovers as a kid i thought they were stupid (she lived in bulgaria where sleepovers don't exist)

I have never slept over at someones house and i really want the experience! how do i convince my mom? please no stupid answers. :)

Answer 1

You certainly have a very high opinion of yourself, and I am not sure why, you have a huge forehead, uni-brow, and a huge pig nose.



Perhaps your mom is being so overprotective is because you are so young and she does not want you to get hurt.



Sit her down and tell her how responsible you can be.

Answer 2

My mom is very strict with sleepovers too. When I was almost 12 my mom finally let me go to them. She only let's me go to sleepovers if, she knows the parents really well and if the house is in a good area. Maybe if you show your mom that you are a responsible young lady, she will gain trust in you. Try to get good grades, help out around the house, and go to bed at a reasonable time. One day maybe you can ask her, "Mom,I know I am not allowed to go to sleepovers right now but what can I do to gain your trust in me?" or you can bring something up at the diknner table like, "Mom, will I ever be able to go to sleepovers? Like when I'm 14 or 15?" I'm sure that when you are 15\16 your mom will let you. Hope this helped!

Answer 3

Judging by the way you're phrasing the question, it doesn't sound like you're being very mature. For example, you're complaining that it is embarrassing and that you're the life of the party. Though those may be true, you have to give her reasons to trust you. And, you have to explain that it is a part of American culture. I can imagine it being very difficult for her to see "the point" of this.



Some things I would recommend are:

-Suggesting she speaks to the girl's parents whose house you want to sleepover. Since you are in their care for the night, she will need to trust them with your life - as crazy as that may sound. Ask her to talk to them and make sure they are responsible, etc.



-Point out examples of how you are trustworthy. For example, do you get good grades? Do chores? If so, bring those points up. Tell her how you have taken on more responsibility - so you should receive some more freedom(s)



-Explain why it is important to you.



-Explain how it is a part of this culture, just as you are now. And discuss what things may have been a part of her culture that are absent here. Maybe she will understand where you are coming from if you can think of a Bulgarian tradition that might not be popular/heard of here.



-Talk about your independence. And how this can help you achieve more independence and confidence. Being given the trust, freedom, and responsibility of staying away from home for a night is something that can help strengthen adaptability and lessen anxiety about taking on larger tasks (for example, if you had to switch schools in the middle of high school). Being exposed to situations helps people grow - including your mom, in that she will better understand her daughter (you) and work on her own fear of letting you go -- even if only for one night.





Last but not least - when you are given freedom, don't take advantage of it! If you seem spoiled or like you do not appreciate something, this isn't more likely to convince your parents of trusting or rewarding you. If you are given a time you have to be home by, then be home. If they want you to call them, don't forget to call. Don't do stupid things once you're there. Be glad your mom trusted you and pay her back by respecting your friend's house & family and having fun that doesn't result in you getting in trouble. :)

Answer 4

she sounds crazy lol. my oldest is 7 years old and i'm trying to prepare myself for the day when he asks to sleep over at someones house. but i could tell you i'm going to let him go as long as i know the parents, siblings and i have to like the friend. everything your mom answers like the batteries working in the smoke detector... i think of that too but then i tell myself that my son needs to live a life and make some of his own decisions. this reminds me of what my mother told me; when she was young her friends would be outside playing skip and she would be in the house watching them because my grandmother told her that she shouldn't skip because she might falling down and get hurt. it's very scary to be a parent the only way you could convince your mom, that is if she's really not crazy, is to gain her trust and tell her she could meet the parents and even come over to the friends house to see for herself what the home is like. but of course before you tell her this talk to your friend and the parents to make sure it's okay with them if your mom does come over to visit. you could even ask your friend's mom to invite your mom over for coffee. make sure that you never do anything bad to lose your mom's trust because then she'll have a very good reason to never let you enjoy your freedom.

Answer 5

no offense, but u arnt very modest...

but i do understand strict parents. my parents wont let me listen to non-christian music! and they wont let me go to anyones house for a sleepover unless they know their parents very well. and it takes me forever to convince them to let me even go hang out at their place!!! i feel you.. but just think... acouple more years and you can get the heck out of there. lol i love my parents bbut they rlly get on my nerves too :)

Answer 6

She's over protective