My mom is interfering with my relationship and its getting really old.?

Question

My mom has constantly given my girlfriend of almost 2 years some trouble. Nothing bad like insults or violence but things like intimidation. For example like rubbing it in my girlfriends face when i do something good thats shes more proud or something or always pointing out random things to make it seem like my relationship is always going to be stronger with my mom no matter how close we get. And for awhile she stopped but now shes starting to do it again and my girlfriend wants nothing to do with her and insists on avoiding her at all costs. What she did recently was she asked my girlfriend over for thanksgiving and i told my parents that shes just going to stay home because she wants to enjoy her moms cooking as do i so were both eating at our own houses. My mom basically forced me to stay home to begin with saying that your not going anywhere for thanksgiving but here with your family (regardless i was planning on it anyways) and when she finds out i plan on going over to my girlfriends after dinner for dessert (trying to keep it even) she runs into my girlfriend out when i wasnt around and says to her "the only way your seeing your boyfriend on thanksgiving is if you come over to our house" and i found that out from my girlfriend who wasnt very happy and said after what my mom said the last thing she wanted to do was come over. i am 20 and my girlfriend is 19. bottom line is i love my girlfriend and we plan on making this relationship last. My mom acts like im still 5 and the only woman in my life should be her. I try to talk to her (my mom) about it and she gets all emotional and then i feel like a jerk. so im in a huge pickle.

Answer 1

Ok so you have tried to talk it out and that didn't go so well,why not write her a letter, explaining to her that you love her very very much and that will never change. But she needs to stop interfering with your love life because she will start to push you away. Tell her that you she had the chance to find companionship and love, so why cant you? After all your mum isn't going to be around forever right, so unless she wants you to be sad and die alone, she has to let you go and find someone who will love you, and give her a ultimatum, tell her that either she stops this crap or you will simply move out, I'm sure she will think about it then because she may still treat you like your 5 but the fact is your 20 and she is not the only women in your life, and if she wants you to be happy she needs to understand that she cant be.

Good Luck

Answer 2

You are in a huge pickle you poor boy. Your mom must find it hard to loose you to someone else but that's her problem, really. (I shouldn't be saying that becos I have a boy and I don't really want him to go off with another woman leaving me behind!) lol Anyway, you are standing your ground and that's fab. Keep on going. You're obviously sensitive and love your mom very much but do not let your mom put on croc tears and make you feel guilty.



Tell her you love her much and won't forget her all at, ever. She did her job well in bringing you up and now you wanna fly the nest with her blessings. If she can't give you that then you will keep in touch with her by emails or whatever but that you won't be around for a long time. It mite make her change her attitudes towards your partner. Warn her if she talk to your partner like that again, she won't be at your wedding.



Once my mom kept putting her sister in law first before me, I got mad and said to her, you know what mom, i had enough. Keep on doing that, I ain't coming back to visit again. I meant it. It worked a treat.

Wishing you the best of luck with your future, young man.

Answer 3

You need to sit down and have a little conversation with your mother, or hon, you are just doomed. She'll do this the rest of your life.



When you observe that Mom's behaviors are inappropriate, you need to lovingly, patiently call her on it. Just say, "Mom, that is inappropriate." Practice in the mirror so the rush isn't so bad when you finally say it.



For example, when she demands you have dinner at home and then demands that you cannot leave, and you let her know you are going out for dessert and she basically assumes your decision making, you need to say, "That's really not appropriate, Mom, and I've decided to go over for dessert."





Repeat as necessary, give her a kiss, and go on your merry way.

Answer 4

i know its hard when it comes to family's and holidays. but what you need to do is to sit down with your mom and just tell her that you love her and will always be her son and that you dont want her to be hurt by the fact that you want to go and just have desert with your girlfriend because there is nothing wrong with it. you also need to ask what her feelings about your girlfriend are and why she doesn't like her. and that you would really like it if she would try and get to know her because you care for her very much and want to have a long and healthy relationship with her.

Answer 5

say that to her face shes short and blunt so you should be the same.

say that if she doesnt start bucking up her ideas you will move out and kick her out of your life you are entitled to have without her ruling over it.. it may actually come to that



get a job if you dont have one do more grown up things show your mum your no kid and throw it in her face and threaten her back you need to stand up for your gf

if you at dinner and she gets intimidating get up quietly and leave with your gf. shows your gf your commited to her and tha tyou care about her feelings or if you in a situation like it be the bigger person and walk away. if she harrasses you you can get a restraining order