Stay at home moms.... I need guidance in juggling all the tasks expected of me (a sahm of 3)?

Question

just received news today the promotion my husband and I have been praying for is probably never coming because of the economy. We just had our third child, have a mortgage we can't afford because of the debt we have racked up over the years--- because we thought the promotion was coming and that would just fix everything. We share one economy size care, and my oldest is in school--- that I have to drive her to and from each day. Thank goodness my husband just works down the street (at least for now)

I want to know what other stay at home moms do to get through the tasks of each day and keep their family happy, healthy and financially stable?

I'm tired of being so broke I have to buy groceries on credit card-- how do you provide meals for your family while on such a tight budget?

What do you do to bring in extra income? I can't afford to put my kids in daycare so I can go to work, as at that point all my paycheck would be going to pay daycare!

I love my family and kids so incredibly much, but some days I just want to lay in bed and cry. I feel like I'm in a never ending uphill struggle to get ahead and all I get is knocked further and further down. I just want better for my family!

am I the only on out there feeling like this or in this situation? what is the answer to getting ahead?

Answer 1

I am not sure it will ever feel like I am getting ahead.

I am a mother of 4. I just got my baby in to prek this year. My oldest is in 5th grade. I have been a sahm for a long time. My oldest is a special needs child so I refused to allow her to be in daycare. So while I was not able to really work I went back to school-online- for a little over a year and it was all paid for by my hope and Pell (then the refunds at the end of the quarters was sweet!)

I really worked hard and struggled through. I got to my internships and then began interning in the school system…OMG I loved it! The down side was I was paying for a sitter (half days 3 days a week) to get out of the house and to get somewhere. My grandmother always downed me for 'not being paid to work but paying a sitter!" Well I was in that one class for 3 months and they suggested I take the sub workshop. Well I did. Within a month i had the principal ask me to step into a classroom to take over for a week! WOW!! I had only worked in that one class (the one which I was assigned for my own internship)

Well for a year I was a very well liked sub. I was working every day and making good money! I could even work at the same school my children were at.

It got to the point my MIL kept pushing "you need a real full time job" and hubby was not much support with me her issues so I took a full time job at a Head Start program.

Granted it’s not the job i wanted but at the beginning of school this year all sub were cut from the system and were left without jobs!

So there i would suggest looking into school. It’s not going to help you tomorrow but it will make it better in the end. You will be surprised at the rewards you can get for going back to school! Some programs will pay child care and there are online and other ways to go.

I have also learned to make time in the kitchen. I am a great cook! But a lazy one. LOL!!

I will go buy 5 lbs of hamburger and cook burgers for tonight and while they are cooking brown the other meat and then separate and put in bowls. In one bowl I would add manwhich, one I would make the tacos and the other I would freeze or make into something else. You would be amazed at how you save time and how it helps with the family when its just heat and eat. Make a menu.-I have a loose one we are not so hard on it we do tend to veer off of it. I am a bad mom. I will cook a HUGE meal and then add to it the next night to save time and canned veggies are cheaper then cooking huge amounts of meats.

Look in to buying at discount stores. We have a Save-A-Lot. You can get canned foods really cheap.

Have you thought about taking in kids to keep? I did that this summer because I was not drawing but $94 a week in unemployment! It was just not worth it to me with my oldest child’s needs on top of another special child. But my sil made GOOD money! She was clearing like $300 a week!

I do not know what else to tell you but to keep your head up and look for the light at the end. I am still looking but I get a glance every now and again and I run for a while then I have to rest. There is hope and we will all be ok. We just can not give up.

Hope you find something that works for you.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. :) I have a few ideas... I hope some of them will help.



First, it sounds like staying at home is your best bet now... with 2 little ones who need care all day and one who needs after school care!



You and your husband are going to have to make some changes. Figure out what you can't live without (the car!) and what you can either get rid of (expensive cable) or scale back (just get rid of movie channels). Surely, there are other things you could think of, too.



For inexpensive meals, try those Taste of Home magazines or cookbooks-- they have a section that shows how you can feed a family an entire meal (and dessert!) for just a few dollars. I used those a lot when my kids were younger and we were in the same situation as you are. Also, be sure to make enough food so that you can pack your husband's lunch for the next day from the leftovers.



Find someone to carpool with so you don't have to drive to school everyday-- you might be saving someone else's life, too!



How old are the kids? For the school-age one, maybe he(she) could help you gather unused clothes or toys or unwanted gifts and you could list them on eBay? Nothing to sell? Maybe hold a swap with your friends or neighbors to get clothes or toys that the kids need. Take advantage of the fact that the little ones don't know what they're wearing and don't care! Don't worry that they don't have lots of clothes-- don't need 'em!



Make a budget and stick to it. Find out a way to pay your highest interest cards first while just sending in the minimum to the rest (I know, stay with me!) Once your high interest card is paid off send the amount you were sending to that card, say $200, to the card with the next highest interest rate or amount. Plan this out on paper or on your computer. I did a spreadsheet on Excel and it would calculate for me how much I still owed and keep a running total every month.



When my oldest, now 12, was 3, I used to grocery shop on $50/week! You'll have to shop the sales and use coupons, but it will pay off. (I also used to notice that they marked down the chicken and other meats on the day before the expiration date. Note those and go back when the prices are lower... I'm sure you'll find your own crazy, little way of saving money, too.



As for the kids, just find creative ways for them to play. If you're working on something outside, give them a bucket of water and a paintbrush and let them "Paint" the walls-- mine loved this! They'll never know that they were broke-- they'll just know Mommy always had fun things to do and was home with them.



I think once you sit down and just come up with a plan, you'll feel more in control of the situation and not like you're floating down a river with no way to get out. Hang in there. Good luck!

Answer 3

Well for one, as i'm sure you know, You should never have lived beyond your means to begin with. Thats whats got you f-ed up now. But now that you see your problem and are ready to solve it vs just moaning about it, then there is options. First off, STOP USING CREDIT. its a never ending hole that will do nothing but screw you up. Pick your card with the lowest amount owed. Put all your money into paying that off. Every spare cent. Once its payed off work on the next one and so on. In the mean time, use cupons buy bargin stuff. You don't need to eat steak to be happy. If you have young children get on WIC. Its a federaly sponsered program that helps stuggling familys buy milk and other essessiels. Try food stamps if you really need them. Think of your children. And if you really need to work. Try working in a day care. You won't have to pay for your kids to attend and its a job that would pay some. You should also talk to a preacher, or priest or couselor. NOT A THERAPIST THEY COST MONEY.

Answer 4

My parents are not financially stable either but they get their way through things with the support of each other. If there is any big problems we pray and hope God helps. Sometimes He does..,. especially if you have faith in him.