Should me and my brother move out? Urgent--older people only please?

Question

I'm 22, turning 23 this year and my brother is 18. I have been working for 1-2 years now with a pay of 24/hr and was able to save around 10,000. My brother is still on school but is working--although is having a hard time with his expenses because of school. We don't get along with my family since before I graduated.We do our share of household and pay our own way but they think different.They blame us for everything. for example my stepdad leaves his used dishes and blames this on us, etc.They also expect me to basically buy what they want--a coach bag or pay for movies, dancing lessons, etc.Thankfully,this lessened quite a bit after I had to go away for weeks and I thought I will be able to save up a little bit more. However, I found out that when we had a fight before that they told their friend that they wanted both of us to leave.AT the same time, whenever I try to talk to them about it, they say the opposite. I'm confused and also scared right now. Can anyone help?

Answer 1

Well, Jennifer, you are an adult. The question is, are you happy?



Is your brother happy?



If you are not happy at home, then give it a try on your own. It's nice that you have saved up some money, but please don't blame everything on your parents.



They have a perfect right to ask you for help around the house, afterall, you're an adult still living at home and who cares who made the dishes...it is everyone's job to take care of it.



Movies? You are being very petty. Aren't you greatful that your parents let a 22 year old girl live at home for TWENTY TWO years?



If you're unhappy, move. But, I guarantee that no roommate, friend or person you ever live with will be as forgiving as parents are and paying bills is not easy...10k only goes so far. Just wait till you have to pay it all on your own...oy, it's hard.



But, you are an adult.



I think, before you go, you should THANK your parents for putting up with 2 adults living off of them as long as they did.



Good luck.

Answer 2

Hi there,

It sounds like its time for you to move on. Your brother may need to stay and finish school as long as they will let him do that.

As far as them telling a friend they want both of you to leave, did you find that out in a way that you know 100% that its true? If so, could it have been said in anger? we all sometimes say things in anger that we would not normally say.

Buying them things? This might be acceptable if you are not paying any rent to them. If you are not, and decide to stay, maybe talking to them about paying rent instead of buying things for them would be a good idea. Then you would have a set amount to pay, and no surprise expenses for coach bags, movies, etc.

Also, maybe offer to let them give you some chores to do to keep from getting into trouble over another person's dishes. If everyone has their responsibilities layed out, then that should help with some of the fights.



Whatever you decide, good luck I hope it all works out for you and your brother.

Answer 3

I'd st down proper now and write a notice to him telling him why and whilst you wrote it after which telling him the way you suppose approximately him now, how he is helped you through the years and notably how you do not blame him in besides for the coincidence that took your Mum.Tell him the entire matters you would not say head to head, like how you're keen on him and what sort of he approach to you. Then on the finish say I've constant you a sandwich or anything and inform him t's ready within the kitchen. THis offers him an excuse to come back out of his room with out feeling foolish. You men will kind this out. He's simply feeling harm and dissatisfied and likewise studying your diary from across the time the coincidence occurred will carry again emories for him too....and typically a side of him will suppose responsible(unjustly) he simply demands reassurance. Good good fortune

Answer 4

It is really hard to say but I think you should go and if you have saved up 10,000 I would look at buying instead of renting. The housing market is excellent for first time buyers and it is an investment not just giving your money away. If you can save that much you will be able to buy just find a good agent and a descent place.

Also, it does sound like you should move.

Answer 5

As far as wanting you to pay for THEIR things, (the dancing and the movies), they may feel jealous that you make as much money as you do -- (I'm really NOT sure what a good average income is, but $24/hour sounds pretty good).



However, your income is no excuse for them to mooch off your profits.



They also may feel that you and your brother NEED to move out because you're both of legal age. That may be how they were brought up or how they came to move out on their own. They also may feel that you're trying to live rent-free at their house? I'm not sure.



You'd really have to sit down and ask your parents about it.

Also I'd talk to your brother and ask how he feels. He may agree to take on a part-time job to help you out while he's still in school.

Answer 6

My relationship with my parents got a lot more comfortable when I moved out and we no longer had household stuff to fight about.



I think you're old enough that if you want to go out on your own, you can make a go of it. Just make a budget and plan with your brother up-front who is going to pay what and who is going to do which housekeeping jobs so that things go as smoothly as possible. Don't forget to save a little money each month so you'll be able to handle an emergency if it comes up.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with living away from home at 22 years old. if your brothe really thinks he is ready, no problem there either. Just make sure that your brother is not doing this just for you, and is responsible enough to handle the situation.



Also, be sure to find a safe area to live in. Living away from the family home can be fun, but don't over do the fun side of it. You need to remain responsible.

Answer 8

I think one possible and rather obvious solution would be for you to go and let your younger brother stay. You stated that you had a $10,000 savings and a decent job so you are self sufficient and too old to still be living at home. On the other hand your brother is still in his teens and not able to be self sufficient as yet. It's a 'no brainer'

Answer 9

I went through this exact situation...i always felt like me and my family were the source of every problem ae...it sucked...

I reckon that age really doesnt matter..if you feel that you are ready to move out and do not need the little support that they give you then moving out should be a really appealing choice.....they sound like ******* ae...im sorry that this has to happen...i think that even if you move out you'll be replacing old strains with new ones ae...you've got to think about paying rent and all that shizzle....

Um i reckon you got to be brave and just go.....you cant keep living in a house where the people constantly make you feel insecure...or just save up little more and then you nd hour brother should move out...be more independent...you're at really good ages ae...i was like 14 it forced me to grow up real fast...but you sound like youre ready for it ae.....

Answer 10

Yes, If you want. Do it if necessary.

Think about it. Are you just thinking of moving out just because he pissed you off today or Long term. Is it you cannot tolerate him anymore? Think about your brother, Is he able to live without guardian? Are you able to give a good and a warm environment in your house ** IF you move out **

It takes great Responsibility for you, because you're older than your brother. Will it effect your brother in school?



If I were you, I would, because One day you'll move out on your own anyways. This will be a unique experience for you.



what is necessary?? ask yourself.

Answer 11

Plan a family dinner around this issue...whenever me and my family get into an arguement, we gather for dinner and talk things out... for example, tell your mother and ur step dad that you are considering moving out, but at the same time tell them that you want their feedback as well. Make sure u are open and articulate in what u are trying to say..you can't find the answer here, find the answer within ur family

Answer 12

If it is as rough as you make out then yeah move out. 22 years old, you should be out of your parents house anyway. Your brother might think about living with you for a short time in order to get some cash flow going so he can get out on his own too.

Answer 13

Yeah u should move out. U guys are too old to be livin with parents or whatever.



If u two stick together it shouldn't be too hard to make it. And most 18yo guys are better off standin on their own anyhow so he should be workin on this.



Tensions happen if older kids stay with their parents too long.



And just what do u consider as older people?

Answer 14

If you and your brother get along well why not rent an apartment/house together. You can tell if you are or are not welcome somewhere. Since you posted that question it seems you feel unwelcome and it is not healthy to feel unwelcome in your own home. Maybe once you are out of there they will realize how much they love and miss you.

Answer 15

hey im same age but make alot less nothing is better than having your own place trust me time to leave its not bad at all no need to be scared you got a nice little bit of money saved so get a nice place you will love it

Answer 16

are you going to college, because if you make 24 an hr then you should already be out of your parents hair, as for your brother, wait till he gets out of school and can work more, you dont want him just living off of you..

Answer 17

You need to move out. It is time and you have enough saved up for a cushion for just in case situations.

Answer 18

Your too old to be living there, move out, you will be very happy you did in the long run

Answer 19

if i were you, i would have already gotten an apartment. i think you should leave. your family might be less stressed if you did. take your brother with you if you want, but you should be out on your own.

Answer 20

Yes it is time. GO ahead and move. What will it hurt? You are both adults now anyways.

Answer 21

Time to move out. You don't need anything big. Just a really small place.

You can do it.

Answer 22

move out is not gonna be easy but at least youre gonna have peace

Answer 23

LEAVE.

you are old enough to make it on your own!

if you miss them then just visit them.

Answer 24

Wow, poor you. I feel very bad for you. I can't help :(sry

Answer 25

if you think you can afford to move out do it.

Answer 26

why do you still wanna stay there?