Is it wrong for me not to want my child's father involved in his life?

Question

I dated this guy for months. To make a long story short, it didn't work out. He has some issues. The one I am most concerned with is that he's a pathological liar. I'm pregnant with his child. With all of his psychiatric issues I'm concerned about him being involved in this child's life.

Answer 1

It's not really about what you want, it's about what's best for your child.



Everyone has their faults. Every parent. As long as he's not abusive towards her, she has a right to have a relationship with him. And, you have an obligation as her parent to encourage her to have a good, safe, secure, confident, respectful relationship with him (as he has that obligation to do the same regarding her relationship with you).

Answer 2

Honey, I got pregnant when I was 16. I was trying to figure our how to break up with him (just a kid...not much relationship experience) and bam! Pregnant! Yikes! But I was a good girl and did the right thing and married the guy. Even though I had a pretty good idea how it was going to turn out, I gave it my best shot.



The only regret I have about my life is that I ever told him I was pregnant. I should have just dumped him and moved on with my, and my new babys, life



Things might have been a little tougher financially (I will say that for the jerk, he paid his child support) but it wasn't worth it. The man has caused me more grief and tears over the years than I care to think about and I'm sure he'll continue to do so in the future.



A child ties you to a person until the day you die.



If you truly feel in your heart that this man has nothing to offer your child then don't bring him into the child's life just to say you did the "right thing".



Let your heart tell you what the right thing is.



If your child wants to meet him later, when he/she's old enough that you feel it's safe, then you can tell them who he is and where to start looking for him.



Good luck and congrat's. You are about to embark on the most incredible journey.

Answer 3

First of all, its' not wrong for you to want your child to have his/her father in their life, but at the same time, if this man is not emotionally/physically stable, then you have to take into consideration the safety of your unborn child. (Assuming he wants something to do with your two's child)



Will he be practical? Responsible? Honest & nuturing?



If you feel as if you do not know, wait until your child is born and just let him have visits with the child while you are around. After a year or so, if he seems stable enough, then maybe it would be alright for him and the child to go off on their own and do things that they like together (IE; the zoo, park, ect.) If he cannot be responsible while you are around do not let him go off unattended with your child, because she/he could get hurt with his impracticallity.

Answer 4

Well since he is already not around and the child is not even born yet u know that the child will not be asking for him but as the child gets older of course they will have questions. BUt if he is that big od a liar then I dont think that it would be in the best intrest of the child for him to be involved because that can lead to the child being really hurt if they r lied to by a parent. But u can recieve child support for your child to help u support the child. Because being a single parent does not seem to b easy. But basically juss do what is best for you and ur child because that is ur main priority now not some man. But I dont think that u should worry about that now because that will njuss cause u 2 muich stress which u do not need due to the fact that u are preganent. So now juss focus on u and ur baby and ur health because that it what is importnat. Juss tke things 1 step at a time. And cross that bridge when u get to it.Good Luck!

Answer 5

If you try to keep your child's father away, if your child eventually does meet him/her he will tell her all sorts of lies about how he's been wanting to see her, how you've kept them apart because your selfish......you know this guy, he'll probably make up all sorts of things. The best thing to do is to be HONEST with your child ALWAYS. If your child ever does meet this man, you have to be sure she is not going to believe him or doubt you. She won't have a reason to doubt you if you never lie to her/him. If you can keep this man away without causing your child any pain, I say DO IT.

Answer 6

As far as the law goes, he has rights.

You can request a psychiatric eval in court to determine how much private visitation he receives.

Or, you can just hope he'll go away. A lot of fathers do.

It's not wrong for you to want to protect your child.

Answer 7

Be careful where you go with this one. Father's do have rights and unless he is dangerous, he should see the child. As the child gets older, then the child will make their own decision about their father. But if you are deceptive and they find out about it, and they will, then you are the bad guy. You don't want to be to blame, trust me if the guy is truly no good, he'll disappear on his own. Good luck with your little one and take care of yourself and that baby.

Answer 8

there's nothing wong with that.honestly, your just thinking in terms of your childs best interest and if you honestly feel like he's no good, then he's probably NOT.i am prego right now and found a bunch of porn that my fiance put on MY COMPUTER LAST MONTH!!!!whats really f***ed up is that we've been together going on 4 yrs now and he knows i am NOT COOL WITH PORN.he's such a jerk i don't know that we can be together or that i want MY BABY ANYWHERE NEAR HIM!power to you!i know how it is!

Answer 9

Not in your life is fine but the kid has a right of access to his biological parents. (Unless you live in one of those middle age countries)



You can limit access of course. Dont worry too much though. As the carer, you have the greatest influence on the child. So DONT go making up stories about the dad.

Answer 10

just see what he acts like around your kid he might act better remember no kid should have to live without his father (if he's a good father) just give him a chance and see what happens if he acts bad get that kid out of thereGOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 11

I think you should let him see his child. And be envolved, but only with you present. It is his child too, and therefore he should be able to see him/her. You should try to get him help too. Maybe, if you do, he can get better and be there for the child in the future.

Answer 12

Yes I believe every child should meet there parents only if they arint mean my dad dad was very mean

Answer 13

no one wants a crazy to be involved with their child.......... i think your right to not want him to be involved!

Answer 14

kinda late to fix things now

Answer 15

i think u ex needs to get help and straight up and then maybe have rights to his kids.