Brother problems! Help!

Question

All my brother does is cut me down and insult me, every chance he gets and no one ever says anything. I tell my mom to say something but she never does. I've been ignoring it for too long and now it's starting to hurt and get annoying. He's 14. And I'm 16, and I feel like an idiot by letting him get to me, but I can't take it anymore. What can I do?

Answer 1

mmmk so I know exactly how you feel, I have an older sister, an older brother and two little sisters [[yeah, yeah bring on the jokes about how often my parents get it on, I've heard it all before]] Anyway I get along with my brother and one of my little sisters, but the other two....thats a different story...



One of my sisters is 12 and her favorite past time is making me feel like shizz. She will criticize me from everything to what I wear, to something that I told her 6 years ago. I know what you mean about feeling dumb about it bothering you because I know it's dumb, but I'm really sensitive and I get really mad. I usually end up shouting back some equally hurtful things and I end up getting in trouble even though she started it. Yeah, its not fair. But, I found a cure...



Ignore it. It's so hard to do, but if you do they stop. I didn't think it would work, but it does. My sister would say something mean and I would just be like "yeah, whatever" and ignore it and eventually she stopped. It wasn't enertaining because I wasn't exploding the way she wanted me to. So there, it's pretty simple. Just ignore it



jeeez I wrote a lot...sorry, that's a lot to read...hahha hope it was worthwhile tho :]

Answer 2

I feel your pain. It hurts even more when an insult comes from a family member than it does from a bully at school, because it is more personal. I bet you feel at times completely helpless and frustrated so much it hurts your gut. My advice to you is to start reacting. If you have tried talking with your mother and she does not do anything, then it is time for you to take matters in your own hands.

1st-Next time it happens, look your brother square in the eye and tell him you have had enough. That his insults are draining you of your energy, and that you do not have the time or the patience to put up with his sadistic qualities. Yes, when someone, even your brother, is getting pleasure out of some one else's pain that is considered sadistic. OR you could suggest you two do something together, like go to the movies, on a bike ride, to the mall-there are so many things you could do to bond.

2nd-If talking to him doesn't work, go back to your mom and say to her- I mean it, I can't and won't take it anymore. You have to say something to him, he is cutting me down, insulting me and it's not right. And honestly, she does have to say something. She has to step in, and do her job as parent, because one of her children is being hurt. Thats her job!

3rd-If neither of the two work, you are going to have to make some noise!! For God's sake, its two boys we are talking about. Plus, you are the older one. Kick his butt- in gentle, yet firm way. No hospital visits! But seriously, pull his hair, slap him, throw him on the ground-whatever it takes. The problem is, you are not a threat to him.



Fact of the matter, you do not deserve to have the dignity verbally beaten out of you by some snot-nose, little eighth or nineth grade kid. When he does so much that it is hurting your self esteem, that is considered abuse. If he is really putting that much effort into making you miserable, he probably doesnt have any extra-curricular going on, such as sports, art, music etc. He needs a distraction, because his focus, his intent, is on hurting you.

Honestly, I hope this works.

Answer 3

my brother does that to me too, hes 12 and i'm 14. It bothers me too. And I hate it because my parents don't do anything about it. All anybody ever tells me is that because I'm very smart and get good grades he is jealous and puts me down because it makes him feel better. Yea right. Just don't react to it and he'll stop, if you yell at him or try to make comebacks (believe me, i've tried) all he'll do is laugh because he got the reaction he wanted. If its bothering you to the point of going insane, remove yourself from the room. Go up to your room where he can't bother you, and can't come in because it is after all, your room.

I really hope this helps...and if i find a way to deal with my brother, i'll tell you and maybe it will work for your brother.

Answer 4

If I was in your situation I would sit your mom down and have a serious talk with her. Make her listen to you and tell her exactly how you feel. Give her specific examples. Don't feel like an idiot because extreme insults and cut downs can affect anyone, even an older brother. He might feel like he has to do that to feel bigger because hes the younger one. If your Mom still doesn't do anything, try writing him a letter. It sounds corny but its a way to get your points across without having a screaming match. It might sink into him that way thats hes really hurting your feelings. Good Luck!

Answer 5

That's often the problem with younger siblings. They kind of feel like they live under the older siblings shadow, so they cut them down and pretend they don't care. He probably thinks you don't think much of him, so maybe talk to him and tell him. Tell him you want to have a relationship with him but if he keeps acting that way, you will be forced to ignore him. After that, try spending a little time with him every now and then. He probably really looks up to you but gets angry when you don't give him the time of day and takes out his anger by insulting you. Good luck!

Answer 6

Start insulting him. A 14 year old guy is gunna take his looks probubly seriously. Dis him back, tell him hes being a doush and he should leave you alone or ul make his life a living hell. And if he doesnt stop then start getting him in trouble with your mom. Theres so many ways you can get a 14 year old boy in trouble *cough cough (condom under bed)* :D im not saying this to be mean and stuff its just that when siblings dont leave you alone its hard. And difficult to get them to stop. I have 2 older brothers, and i know that if he starts getting a taste of his own medicine hel get fed up with it. hope i helped. good luck. :) best to ya.

Answer 7

Sounds like he's jealous to me. Get out as much as possible. Join some sports or anything that can get you out of the house. Sit your mother down and really talk to her, tell her that it's giving you emotional issues. Tell her that you feel like there's no way out of it. If your father is in the picture, talk to him if your mother is unreasonable. There is also a counselor at your school right? That's a good place to start. There could be many reasons for him treating you the way he does. At the very least hon, tell yourself, "I only have to put up with this crap for two more years" Sorry I can't be more help.

Answer 8

Being a girl of 3 brothers, one younger and two older, you could do one of four things.



1-- Beat up. [Only works for my older I've found. xD]



2-- Insult the little twerp back.



3-- When he's finished insulting, say, "Well your no better."



4-- Tell him to grow up.



Any of the four will work, but going to mom or dad usually doesn't.

Unless your the younger one, then it does, otherwise, no. xD



--Is not a good role model--

Answer 9

He's just jealous of you. He's letting YOU know that HE is the top dog (so to speak) and doesn't want YOU to forget it. From your question I gather that you are probably less outgoing than your brother is. You have to be the one to stand up to your brother so he will stop and realize that actually YOU are the one in control. You are the more powerful one of the brothers. Don't lay down so he can step on you. Begin to think and act like the smarter more powerful brother -- why? Because as the older brother YOU ARE!

Answer 10

I think the best thing to do is (even if you don't feel it) act like you are completely careless & comfortable with what he says. This really irritates them but they begin to realize that their attempts are in vain!



I know it's really difficult to ignore it when someone gets to you but what I can suggest is cool it off. I remember conducting a seminar with a bunch of motivational speakers & what I came across was a technique where an individual, in times of stress or intimidation or anxiety, pretends they are walking on the beach in a calm, careless environment in their underwear & nothing can worry you. If that calm barrier is breached, it's always best to Take a deep breathe, hold it in for 2 seconds, then breathe it out & say in a satisfied voice in your head "I got through it".



I find it works for me in job interviews & situations where I'm bugged. I hope it works.

Answer 11

Don't feel bad, we all have annoying little siblings. My little sister is two years younger than me too and she likes to try and make me feel like dirt. She's the popular one and I'm the not so popular one... But, all you have to do is keep your cool and either ignore him or come up with something witty to say. The more he sees it getting to you, the better he'll feel and the worse he'll get. I know it seems hard, I used to slap my sister everytime she said something rude to me and it made her worse, but now I just ignore her and she shuts up after a while. Everybody gets tired of talking to a brick wall.

Answer 12

There is obviously a reason why he does this to you. He is probably jealous of something about you. Don't give it the attention it doesn't deserve. Remember your own great qualities about yourself and keep them in mind. That way when he puts you down, you can just look at him like it doesn't bother you. If you show it does bother you, he will keep doing it. If you don't, he will eventually get sick of not getting a rise out of you. No worries..Keep your head up and know that you are unique and awesome in your own way..Be yourself and be respectful to people. The ones that can't do the same are not worth your time. Good Luck..

Answer 13

you need to have a serious talk with your brother and tell him that all this has been hurting you for way to long. you need to deal with the problem now before you cant take it any more and explode!



its pretty obvious that mayb your being way to nice and you need to stand up for your feelings tell your brother whats going on and if he laughs at you or ignores you. i think its time for you to yell it at him yell and tell him his hurting you and he needs to stop mayb thats the only way your brother will hear you out.





if that doesn't help move out!!! go with an aunt or grandma. mayb a pastor or someone close to you and tell your family( mom and brother) that this has gone for too long and that its getting to the point where its hurting you big time so tell them you would rather move out so that it can get through there minds that there hurting you and that they need to stop.

pray for your family and forgive your brother beause his your brother no matter what!

im sorry so sorry for what your going through!!!



HOPe everyhting works out for you!!!



god bless you and your family!!!



=} VALERIE <3

Answer 14

as much as I hate to say it, his behavior is very normal. I'm sorry that your family doesn't do their part to cool him down, that's wrong on their part, that is part of the job of being a parent, disciplining their kids. Your parents need to discipline him. But there's nothing you can do to make them do their job if they won't, I'm really sorry if they are slacking on their job. Don't take it so personal though. When he acts like that, realize within yourself that he is lacking discipline and is just being a snotnose knothead. I bet most of the stuff he says to you isn't even true, just a bunch of crap that makes him feel better about himself and gives him a little power trip. He's not perfect, I bet you could do the same to him if you wanted to, but I don't suggest you sink to his level. Let him be the dumb***.

Answer 15

This is probably happening because of the way that other kids pick on him and you are the only one that wont put his lights out if he insults you. My suggestion is to turn the other cheek, be nice to him, respect him even (when you think that he doesn't deserve it) and tell him that you love him. don't call him names or insult him.

Answer 16

Ive had brother troubles all my life. Just try to reason with him and tell him how you feel. If it doesnt work maybe you can do it back to him and make him feel the way you do and maybe he'll stop after he knows what youre feeling. If it doesnt work and you cant get your mom to stop him then hit him in the face and tell him that you wont take crap from him anymore. Be forceful and make sure he knows your serious. Good luck

Answer 17

ok well its just what brothers do.



i am 14. and my brother is 18.. that is way harder then what you have happening. he is an ADULT !!

just ignor it.. i find that my brother only does it to me a smart as*or when he is bored, if he doesnt get a reaction from me (so when i ignor him) he gets bored and moves on to doing somthing else..



he does things to annoy me daily.. just dont let it get to you...'



if he says something mean. dont even acknowledge tht he has spoken. just continue with what your doing and dont give him the attention he craves.. i think its just a maturity thing, he is a lot younger then you.. and in my case... eh is a boy, and i am a girl lol





or you could just tell you mum that it is really getting to you and it seriously does upset you and your really sick of it. tell her you want her to do somthing about his behaviour coz its unfair what he does to you...





but seriously, your the bog brother....dont sink to his level and do what he is doing to you.. be the mature one and ignore him...





good luck.

hope i helped



xx

Answer 18

ight,1st of all he is most likely jelous of you. thats half the reason people are mean/make fun of others..could be a number of things, could be something stupid like ur older, or something pritty serous...mabye he want ur attention too neva no.....do you let him no it buggs u? well dont try to let it show....it might work,,,, or u can sit down with him and explain that it's annoyin and nobody likes annoying people... or even make your mum sit diwn listen to you and tell her that she needs to do someting about it beacuse of the way it is affecting you....

THAT'S SEROUS......bad things can happen to people that get ragged on. ( not saying that u would do anything, but it could NEVA no) try doin wat he does back, wateva you do dont hit or kick or beat him up. do as he does, and if u get yelled at be stand up for yourself and tell whom eva grounds u ect.... that u were treating him how ur being treated........Got a vid cam or voive recorder or anything that can record the voice, that u can stash some were ,were ur lil bro won't see it....put it htere or something like that and rec. wat he does show your mum, tru proff is great...i am sorry this is happening to ya, I wish you the best of luck! =D

Answer 19

Whatever he does to you,do it back,play fire with fire.....ur older and should be able to control someone younger than you.Oh and dont worry about ur mom...if she ignores wat he does to you then she will ignore watevr u do to him.....TRUST me,my sis is a lil b*tch,she tries to make fun about stuff that hurt me,but i do the same thing,i know i might be too old to "play around" but it really works.

Once she slapped me and i slapped her back,since then she haven't touch me for anything cuz she knows I hit harder.

hope i helped!!!

.:also hope a star* makes you feel better:.

Answer 20

He's probably stressed by some events and you could have a good talk with him instead.. just like Big Brother.. another possibility is sibling jealousy which is very common and normal in growing up phase..

Answer 21

i know exactly how you feel my brother is the same way. i just try to ignor him and do it back to him and some days it works. but ya it is really hard and annoying. im also 16 and my brother is 13.

Answer 22

Everytime he opens his mouth to talk stick your fingers in your ears and yell lalalalalalalalalal your mom will get fed up and make you both stop. Worked for my kids.

Answer 23

You should tell him to shut up, if he does not then use physical force. That's what an older brother should do when his little brother gets annoying. It's your responsibility to get him prepared for a the real world, so hit him, make him cry and he probably won't do it again.

Answer 24

Try and talk with him man to man about his hurtful and juvenile behavior. Ask him what sort of relationship he wants to have with you. Ask him how he'd feel if you treated him this way. Call him on the immaturity. He probably wants to be seen as an adult.

Answer 25

talk to him about it. react like the older brother u r. your mom refuses to react because u r older. take control and show as well as prove to him that it is wrong to act and treat people that way. it is partially ur responsibility to bring him up in the correct way - if u dont -- he will get in trouble sooner or later and u might be expected to defend him in public. good luck

Answer 26

Same problemo

Yea it really got to me where i just wanted to smash their heads

But i just ignored them and ignored and they got tired and stopped

There's really nothing you can do about it other than ignore because that's the way siblings are dude.

Deal with it try comprehending with him

Dont cause drama buy telling him off

Answer 27

YOUR THE OLDER ONE? Don't react to show him that it is useless to continue. But once he crosses a line put him in his place! That's what the older brother is supposed to do.

Answer 28

Well i got 3 older sister. so i totally understand... it can hurt really bad when you sibling is putting you done, but you really gotta not let it get to you.. it your younger brother. he is just trying to bother you... Or maybe he is making fun of you , because he want to be like you

Answer 29

aww I'm sorry, i have no experience with this, but try talking about it with your brother, and if that doesn't work then give him a taste of his own medicine...make it hurt, so he knows what it feels like.



good luck!!

Answer 30

trust me im talking from experience

me and my bro fight all the time

hes about 6 years older than me

i mean BAD fights, like throwing punches

and i learned that if you try to get along with him, its a little better,

or try doing it to him back, find the things he is insecure about and make fun of him to see how he likes it

Answer 31

Ignore! A gross medicine but will help you out.

Answer 32

Show him what being an older brother means.

Answer 33

Beat the holy **** out of him, or just rise above it.



I know, I know, it sounds like what everyone else would tell you, but seriously, what the hell are you doing letting a 14 year old kid pass judgement on you? He doesn't know the first shitting thing about life, so who is he (at all) to speak on the matter of you?

Answer 34

hahaha... it's pretty much the identical situation with me and my brother..... but what i do is either hit him ... or actually address it with him and let him know that he might not think it hurts ur feelings but it really does... and if that doesn't work... he's a brat lol

Answer 35

ignore him he probably just wants attention, You're his older brother so you have to know that he looks up to you, he puts you down to make himself feel better.

Answer 36

it's the sad truth:

siblings suck

i have a sister who is 3 years older than me.

I can't eat my favorite food: brick oven pizza

around her cuz she has

IBS. Try to find some rlly

good comebacks

that should do the trick ; )

Answer 37

i know how that can be. my family sort of ignores it cause it happens so often.



i would suggest keep bringing it to your parents attention or try to talk to him about it, and if he insults during that talk dont show any signs of it getting to you.

Answer 38

keep on ignoring him or do something my sisters and freinds and cousens do i want to know the same i am 10 one is 15 3 and 13 so wut should i do

Answer 39

try to have a nice talk with your brother...

and try ask yourself whether you've done anything wrong to your brother...

Answer 40

Maybe you can try telling him yourself....Bullies DO listen to feelings sometimes....

Answer 41

dont worry, my older brother is just like that, but he tackles me, too. you should talk it out.

Answer 42

He's just immature..probably secretly looks up to you! I bet if you beat his a** you'd be in deep ****. :DD

Answer 43

wind him one good punch in the guts will do it

Answer 44

Pull him by his ear and through him across the room and tell him to shut the f*ck up or you'll do worse. I'm sure he will listen...

Answer 45

you shouldnt listen to him just talk back make him feel worse and then hell know what it feels like he might stop after

Answer 46

show him you can kick his ***, he probably thinks hes the one in charge. put him in his place and dont be nice, retaliate

Answer 47

just make a goal to be a better person then him, and more succefull. he'll regret it one day.

Answer 48

just ignore it dude, trust me alot worse could happen with your brother. it has with me and my bro.

either that or talk to your parents about it.

good luck man.



someone answer mine, please?



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080731183937AAKyrsX

Answer 49

That sux, Maybe try talking to your mom again.

Answer 50

Tell him to grow up.

Answer 51

take charge! your older and your parents dont care.

Answer 52

aww thats sadd :( just smack him across the head. yeah... that should work.

Answer 53

It sounds like your mom likes him more.

Answer 54

its usually the other way around ...kick his ***..

Answer 55

beat his *** until he stops

Answer 56

Kick his @$$..................?