my grandson is 15 in with the wrong crowd is sneeking out some at night,and took 2 pills at school..?

Question

my grandson is 15 in with the wrong crowd is sneeking out some at night,and took 2 pills at school..?

Answer 1

Get him into sports or something constructive...

Answer 2

find out what he likes to do. At that age if you don't involve him in something, he will find something to get involved with. So, keep him busy.



Another thing, you mention his mother but you failed to mention a father. If his is not around, get him hooked up with a positive male role model. We tend to think that sons can be raised by their mother and no one else, but she cannot show him how to be a man, so get some help on that one.

Answer 3

"his mom wants to send him to a private Christian school but he says he knows how to get kicked out and he will"



It sounds like his mom needs to give your grandson a little more guidance and support.



Kids are the reflection of their parents.



Maybe spending time with the three of you would be best for everybody.

Answer 4

Try to ask him what is going on and then try to get him to talk to his school counselor.

Answer 5

First of all... let me commend you for admitting that he needs help. Many grandparents simply let their grandchildren run wild saying that they're still young.

What you need to do is, no matter how harsh it may seem, send him for counselling. A good counselor can get to the root of his problems, and erradicate them. Also, ban him from seeing his current friends. He may be angry, may even threaten you. But you need to be supportive and loving throughout. Do not give in to his tears or sobs, but comfort him and spend time with him. Maybe take him on a mini holiday to a resort for a few days. You can show him that he can have a good time without doing bad things.



I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

good luck

Answer 7

growing up i was the same way. the best thing for you to do for your grandson is communicate with him as much as possible. you can't stop him from doing want he wants most of the time because he will find ways around them but if you trust him and he knows that, then he will realize what hes doing is wrong and will change. he has to figure out for himself and learn from that.

Answer 8

he needs to see consequences to his actions - MAKE him go to shelters, etc with you BTW private christian schools don't fix anything - i went to one since the age of 4 and let me tell you, I met and saw plenty of people dealing/doing drugs, having sex, etc - i wasn't one of them, but beware.

Answer 9

I think you have done all you can. In my opinion you should not get too involved in your grandson's life, as this is the job of the mother. Don't hurt your relationship with your daughter (his mother) over this.

Consult a doctor about his mental problem and get him his medicine if needed, through means of mixing it with his food, for example.

Hope this helps,

Craig

Answer 10

Maybe you could convince his mother to get him some therapy. There are even youth groups that he could get involved with where he could make some decent friends. I'm sure he'd fight that all the way but the depression could use some counseling.



I'm sure he COULD figure out how to be kicked out a private school, but if she speaks to the people in charge and lets them know that he has this goal, they'll expect him to try and perhaps beat him at his own game?



Do you live in the same school district that he does? If not, maybe you and his mom could do a kind of 'intervention' and tell him that if he messes up one more time...he will be moving in with you until he graduates. I know she doesn't WANT that, but if he keeps heading down the wrong road, she won't be doing him any good to leave him in the situation he's in. That would remove him from those friends he's hanging around with, and possibly get him to take her more seriously. It wouldn't even have to be forever. Just long enough that he knows she isn't playing.

Answer 11

Sounds like his mom needs to crack down on him and show him who's boss!



I have a hunch that the father isn't around, but if he is, he needs to lay down the law!



******



By the Way, ADD is an excuse, not a reason. Don't let him use it as an excuse.

Answer 12

Just from experience....my oldest was ADD and used it as an exuse (so I thought) -- later he told me he "felt stupid" after being daignosed.....which is the last thing I wanted for him. He is now 29, took Ritalin as a child (diagnosed in 4th grade when no one even heard of it then) and he is now also a heroin addict. I've heard this could happen and IT DID. He is ALSO one of the sweetest people you ever met. WATCH THIS CHILD IF THEY ARE TAKING PILLS.....I haven't heard from my oldest for over a year now and don't know if he is even alive --- he stole everything from us -- we lost a LOT!!! His dad's family didn't belive me then (they do now as he ripped them off also). His teachers told ME he was so respectful and sweet but then in high school he didn't show up much. I DID THOUGH!! I was there more than he was. Guess what else? ADD kids are actually VERY intelligent -- they just need motivation into what they are interested in. IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW, I would have done things different -- I don't know "how" but I've learned a lot over the years......just don't give up on him. Pay attention - find out what he's "interested" in and influence him in that direction. They are highly intelligent kids. Trust me....my heroin addict can CON anyone. Oh and by the way, I have another son not ADD who will be called DOC in the military so I'm not a bad mom. ADD kids just need good influence and positive stuff. I feel your pain ------- I TRULY DO!! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.

Answer 13

Sounds like he needs counseling. and not some shrink but more of a "peer" group. You'll need to find out what his insurance will provide especially now that he's and "at risk youth"



After that, at 15 he's still a child and need a lot of Tough love. Prolly a rewards and punishment system, especially with his meds. My best friend took everything her son "owned" from him, left his room blank but a sheet and pillow.



It was horrible and miserable but by his 16th birthday he was on his meds and in private school. The meds is a big thing too, if he doesn't like them, get them changed, it takes well over 6 weeks for him to feel better on them, there are a lot of choices out there and some times you really have to be a ***** with the doctors but hey its your kid and you are paying the doctor.. should be easy math



Good luck ( BTW my son is autistic so I know of what i speak )

Answer 14

well staying with you would help if he had a close relationship with him if not it could drive him further down the wrong path. Try convincing his mom to let him come by you again if not, if possible, stay by him watch what he does but not to closley or he might pull away more. try to pick up a hobbie with him like learning a language or some thing im fifteen but i talked to my dad a lot about this. for a hobbie if hes sort of brainy like me im self teaching physics, chem, 6+ languages and astronomy and my parents got me interested in school at an early age. try getting him into science or history even math maby do some play with him or read a big book together like homers odyssey or the illiad. school and learning always keep me busy. other alternatives are sports or chess maby a drama club at school then theres the boys and girls club if theres one in the area. music is another one have him pick up an instrument. if you need more suggestion my email is [e-mail] good luck keep him on the right path.

Answer 15

Private school will make him extremely depressed since he will loose all his friends in this school. It will scar his heart for life. There is really nothing you can do. The only thing I could suggest to you would be to make him take a drug test every three weeks. Once he stops doing drugs or what ever he is doing he will come to notice his life. Im sure he will become a good boy as long as you and his mother are caring and respecting towards him.

Answer 16

The kid clearly needs an intervention.

The mother at least needs to take the kid back to the doctor for different meds.

Both mother and son need to go in for counseling... fast.



Sending the kid to a private school -- other than a military academy -- will only be a waste of money. The military academy will try to instill discipline, but may be traumatic.



Keep hammering on the mother to let him come live with you for a while. She may be in denial.

You have to get through to her any way you can... like is she going to wait until she has to bail the boy out of jail before she gets him some help?

Answer 17

I was that kid! I am 28 now.Thank God for Grandmas.He will do a lot of stupid things.He is 15.I took the long hard road instead of my mom giving me to my gram.Teens seem to respect grandparents more.He is trying to figure out where he fits in this crazy world. I would do something bad or careless in school to kind of see who thought it was cool or funny.Then that would be my click.Even though I was surrounded by people,I felt so alone.If you know of two pills it was probably more like 4.Help him find himself.If all else fails,keep him busy.Being bored with everything sparked way to many ideas.Don't give up.Good luck.

Answer 18

well i think that he is probally depressed or just lost. he might be finding out who he is. but he could stray down the wrong path and that is your concern. so why dont you try to go on a vacation some where and there he can meet new friends. maybe a week or something . im 17 and thats what helped me. maybe. if there is a serous problem then you need to sit down with his mom and ask her to adress it before its out of hand. be sure not to be too pushy. LET HIM KNOW THAT EVERYONE SEES IT. AND THAT YOU WONT TELL HIM :WHAT TO DO" BUT ! YOU WILL ASK THAT HE DOES THE RIGHT THING. PIUS HE IS ONLY 15. if he is that type of kid you say he is. then he will become humiliated with his acitons overtime. he needs a rolemodel. maybe a older friend like a guy. or dad or something. my uncle gives me good advice.

Answer 19

he needs to keep taking meds so he can control the ADD symptoms. In regards to the depression he needs to see a doctor to be properly diagnosed. I wouldnt force him to go to a private school then he will resent it and really act out. if mom is not letting you intervene, then is there something going on w/their relationship? that could be causing his behavior by acting out. is his mother realy busy w/work, school, relationship? he may act out to get her attention since it's the only way he can get it from her.

Answer 20

i had to learn the hard way 17 months of lockup i've ran away to manhatin when i was 14 after robbing a store ran away to north carolina after robbing 20 thousand in jewls robbed a pharmacy and robbed to many houses to count noone could tell me what to do i now know none of it is worth it i'm in life for the long run not daily satisfaction anymore nobody put this in my head i learned it on my own i am turning 19 in 4 months and i know i will never lead that kind of life again

Answer 21

Dude he will I know from experience....I have some problems....first time I was offered some stuff I took it without even looking back. I was the same way too I get along with almost everyone. Make sure he parents or you talk to him...don't hassle him but make sure he doesn't feel alone.

Answer 22

He needs to talk to a really caring therapist.

One who will take him seriously. One who will listen to him and really try to find a medicine that will actually help him. They are out there, but its really hard to find a good doctor. One that will take the time and not rush or be interested in getting paid.

After 16 years, my nephew has finally found one and is making such good progress. We are so thankful that God answered prayers.

Answer 23

15 Is such a hard age. My son is 18 now, he also has a.d.d., I can only give you moral support, I wish I had the answers for you. Just give him love, and lots of compliments, avoid critisism, and most of all listen and validate his feelings. As long as he knows he has family that love and support him, he'll feel grounded, and he'll come around.



Best of luck to you and your grandson!

Answer 24

Your grandson's parents need to get a handle on their son... it seems he runs them and their household and makes all the major decisions.... he has them buffalo'd...



ADD isn't an excuse for EVERYTHING....



If he's depressed, his parents need to get him help... if he steals pills and takes them to school, he needs to be punished, if he continues threatening his parents about their choices, he needs to be informed he is not the adult....

Answer 25

How do you know he is ADD- Was he diagnosed by more than one psychiatrist? It is too easy a diagnosis nowadays. He may need different medication that does not make him feel bad...Really his mom needs to discuss this with more than one doctor.

Answer 26

go on the web and see what you can find out about both ADD and depressed in teens. Talk to him over the computer if you can that my help him some.

Answer 27

you think thats bad... my sister is just turned 15 yesturday she is a dealer and she hangs out with the kings from a latin gang O: its crazy ****. she also does pills and smokes alll the times and the other night she came home drunk and high and told my dad bc she was so out of it.

get his parents to file a chins on him cause that i will keep in line a bit cause the probation officer will tell him what he can and cant do and they have to sign a thing of house rules.

Answer 28

try to get him involved with a club of some kind and let him know for every reaction there is a reaction and when he does something wrong there will be some kind of a punishment

Answer 29

Well, maybe you should teach the kid right from wrong... that helped me alot...

Or maybe you should teach the mom's kid... right from wrong so she can teach him...

Or tell him that if he doesnt straighten up his act some severe punishments will be coming his way... get him into line...

Answer 30

well you should sit down and talk to him..as a fifteen year-old that's what i would want my parents to do..he's striving for attention and if you talk to him he'll listen to you or his mother. i also think it'll make him know that you're there for him, and you should remind him every day how much you love and care about what he does

Answer 31

Well if you dont live with him then you cant influance his life that much...he has to make his medecine though..no excuses on why he isnt taking it...its given to him for a reason.

Answer 32

Try to get into family counseling. maybe you can help him get help.

Answer 33

just et him make his own choices. when you feel as if he will do something really bad, then step in.

Answer 34

Find him a nice girlfriend lol