will my daughter ever talk to me again?

Question

we had a serious disagreement. she said some awful things. her husband tells her to not talk to me. she is only child. she won't return my calls. don't you think this is ridiculous? it has been over a month now. we live close to each other too. can people just forget you completely? your own mother? your mom? tell her to call me please.

Answer 1

I don't know what the argument was about, but even if you were right, apologize to her for letting things get out of hand. She is your daughter and she loves you. Let time heal the wound.

Answer 2

She can't forget you, but she can forcibly remove you from her life. I have been witness to several situations where the child simply left the parents. If they meet on the street, they may say hi, and that's all. Nothing more. I think it's horrible when that happens, but it's always the parents fault. You may not have done it on purpose, but it is your job to ALWAYS be the more intelligent and responsible person in the relationship. That means you have to be able to recognize what lines you may never cross no matter how much you may want to. It is very bad that you had a serious disagreement with her. I think serious disagreements between parents and children should end at about the time that a child is able to form a strong opinion about a subject.



Your best bet for getting together with your daughter again is to visit her or call her when you know her husband won't be at home. If she refuses to see you, insist, but not forcefully, but rather with pleas. Apoligize for taking a side against her in your disagreement, no matter what it was. Apologize for wanting to guide her in her life when she's a grownup. Never once mention that you wanted to do those things for her good. Apologize for being selfish and promise never to do it again. Apologize for being those awful things she said to you. Tell her that you want to be her mother and her friend. She just may take you back.



I know it's hard to do all those things, but they have to be done. I am sorry you put yourself in that situation. People do foolish things and think that right and wrong matter. They don't. The only thing that matters is that you love your daughter and she means the world to you. Anything you do or say that may jeopardize your relationship is wrong. Everything you do or say to make it better is right.



Pride and conviction have no place in a parent's relationship with their children. Only kindness and devotion.

Answer 3

I don't think that is ridiculous. There are many times when it's best for children to take a break from a parent. Just because she is your child and you are her parent doesn't mean that the two of you can get away with treating each other with less respect than you would show anyone else you know. If you or she can't do that then perhaps the time apart is for the best. I'm not saying that she's right, just that she isn't wrong if she is making the decision not to talk to you for the right reasons. In which case take the break she is giving you to think about how to work on the problems you and she have and in the future don't let it get this bad again.

Answer 4

A year ago my dearest grandmom died ( my mother's mum ) and after that period of time my mom was very very upset, and we had a little fight over a thing i can't even remember. she was very dissapointed with everybody and she felt really really alone. From the day we've had that fhgt we kept argueing and argueing abut everything untill we started not to talk to each other. We've been like this for almost 7 months, and we still lived in the same home so you can imagine how difficult that was, seeing her and not even say hello to her. After about 3 months i felt like i couldn't take it anymore and i tryed to talk to her but she wouldn't just listen to me... our stupid pride made us lose a very important part from our lives.

I am not telling you that your problem will last this long, what i can tell you is that you should try and convince your daughter to talk to you .. say it once say it twice say it one thousand times if it is necessary. Don't let this get worse. Try not to talk to her about what you think about her husband , this will make her feel uncomfortable and she won't want to talk to you anymore. Go to her forget about your pride, be you the one that makes the first step towards getting back together. Mothers and daughters should be very close to each other especially if she is your own child.

I hope you'll do the right thing and get back together with your daughter the way you were a while ago. Have faith.

Answer 5

There is more to this story than you are telling us...

You have an only child who is married. Right there could be the problem. She's no longer yours...she's a married woman now and you need to respect that. You are not in charge anymore, mom. Learn about "respect."



She is fuming mad at you... I suspect she feels you are a stone wall...on every subject...and do not respect her feeling or opinions . She is a grown woman! My mother had that problem and she had 6 kids.



My question is do you LISTEN or is your mind made up?.

I can think of no reason why an only child refuses to speak to her mother...Write her a note and apologize to her and let her know you overstepped here ...and will listen and be respectful of her... now and in the future. She does love you and is just totally frustrasted with you now so by you making the first move it will make it easier. It does not matter who is right or who is wrong.



Good luck...you can work it out....

Answer 6

Whether or not her husband tells her to do anything, your daughter is her own person. She is choosing not to talk to you. Give her time. The more you press the issue, the angrier she may become. Give her some space.

Think about what you said or did, too. Sometimes moms can be oblivious to the amount of harm which can be done to children with simply a few words.

Take responsibility for what you did, write it down, send it in the mail, and give your daughter some space.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Sweetheart, she will call you again and don't worry about it. If the disagreement was something that was handled incorrectly or you where the culprit then take ownership and apologize if needed. If the daughter is the culprit then love her but stand your ground! Respect is a mutual feeling but getting walked on by your relatives is not acceptable. There is no need to engage in mindless arguing if it can't be resolved agree to disagree and move on to better aspects of your relationship. Don't let your son-in-law's comments or intrusions add to the fire he should stay out of these kinds of disagreements so fuel isn't dumped on the fire. Consider the age as well the life experience is a factor that they lack, sometimes being humble and waiting it out is the best choice! Hard sometimes but best! I feel your pain. I got one just like her and him!

Answer 8

Sometimes, sending a Thinking of You card can let a person know how much you care for them and miss them. It can also give them a little home sick feeling too by telling them you love them and they can come to you anytime.

It would probably be wise to just give in and apologize to make peace with both your daughter and her husband. It's not right that he is telling her not to speak to her own mother but if you try to make friends with them both, it will release a lot of tension.

Maybe get her a card with an invitation for them to come over for a dinner and sit down with them and play a good board game. You want to create some family fun to keep off of issue that lead to disagreement. Watch a movie together. Make some popcorn, some coffee. Laugh together and just enjoy yourself.

Answer 9

i think she will eventually, usual people will come around. It also depends on how intently she listens to her husband. Is she a strong enough woman to stand on her own and make her own decisions? Or will she do what her husband tells her no matter what? You say she won't return your calls so obviously you are trying to reach out to her. I think the best thing you can do is call her once more, leave her a message stating that you want to try and repair the relationship, and you have been doing all you can to reach her and begin the process,but seeing as she refuses to return your calls you are going to give her the time she needs to get ready to start repairing the relationship. That you respect her right to to not talk to you, but that you love her very much and will wait as long as it takes. Tell her that in order to start the process of repair you will wait for her call to you, to signal that she is ready. I think by putting it into her hands, and reaffirming you love and respect for her that she will eventually come around.



I wish you luck in this.

Answer 10

This is an unfortunate situation. As a child, I often get into fights with my parents, and I am a champion grudge-holder. But within a week at the most, I can't stand the guilt of holding the grudge and ignoring my parents and I end up apologizing. Just have faith that your daughter will come around. Maybe a better approach then trying to call her would be to write her a letter (not an email, a letter). A letter is is less confrontational than a phone call and it will give her the chance to ponder and gather her thoughts before talking to you. Good luck, love!

Answer 11

Do you believe you raised her to be a responsible adult? Does the good outweigh the bad? Can both of you admit to eachother stubborness and whether someone was wrong or close minded? Have you appologized even if only for raising your voice or some aspect of the argument? Chances are she will come around, but if the attack or argument was something that involved her husband you will have a fight on your hands. Stand your ground on what you believe is wrong, but acknowledge she is an adult and that you respect that she can make up her own mind to do what is right.

Answer 12

I would say go on with your daily life. If she wants to talk- talk. Give it time. I see in alot of girls that they just kinda "yea, whatever- don't talk to me" but, then talk. Sometimes it takes a couple of MONTHS even YEARS! Give it time. Try and call to her, sometimes people will have a Mediator or a Meditation (no not Yoga or ome of those) but you are in a Neutral setting, you sit at one end of the table, and she sits at one end of the table and you have a Mediator or a Mediator. They will help you work it out- each person gets to speak if they wish. Ours in town is called New Hope.

Everything old has past; behold the new!

You might even want to take a walk to your local physiologist or psychiatrist.



But 1st give it time.

Males are different they usual just talk about it and forget it. (that is what I think...but its Human, its natural.)



Again if you need a Mediator or Mediator go do it! Hurts NOTHING!

(I have studied them in school and role played! It really does work)



Asses the situation. Pros and Cons, what happened? Who? When? Where? Why? Think of all those.



Hope this helps and you can work it out. Give it time.

Answer 13

I went through something similar with my both daughter years ago. They did come eventually start talking to me. I think this happens to a lot of mothers/parents it's not uncommon. What I learned from it was that no matter if you are mom. They still have their own opinions and you have to let them learn from their mistakes no matter what. Give her some time she will start missing her mother because she needs and wants your love. It may take months, she does not want to put you before her husband for now. If you would like send her a simple card saying you are sorry and you love her. Don't try to explain or talk about the past problem. She's not ready! Use this time apart to let it get past you. Sometime we parents try to protect our children from hurt and pain. But they MUST make their own choices. You raised her the best you could and you have to trust that! She maybe young but she is married now and you just have to butt out and leave your opinions to yourself unless she ask you for one. She still loves you and I bet she misses you too. Give her time. Stop worrying it will keep you down. Pray for strength and understanding for you and her. You have to let her make the decision and deal with it no matter what!

Answer 14

No one can forget their mother. I've gotten into disagreements with my mom twice. One time, we didnt speak for 10 months, another for just a month. Even though we didnt talk, I missed her dearly and eventually we made up. Just give her some time and space. She'll realize that no matter what happens, you're the one thats going to be there for her!

Answer 15

I would say allow her to have a cool down time. After that i would say be the adult and call her, or go to her house. Do not let her husband tell her or you that you should not speak! I had a disagrement with my mother that lasted two years. It was NOT worth it!

Answer 16

From personal experience, I would give her some time to get the anger out of her system. If she won't talk to you on the phone,she probably won't answer the door either. I didn't so..best bet.....what my son did with me....he went out and got some funny postcards.....not cards.......cause I would have tore them up....but postcards you see right there......he just wrote the following..........NO MATTER WHAT>>>I STILL LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL, he did not sign it...but i knew it was from him. and I kept them. It took me about 2 months before I would talk to him again.....he also said he was sorry.



What did he do to get me so mad? First he took my car at night, then he drove it around playing CB radio hide and seek and this was in the woods in NC. Then he drove it into a ditch...and not a small one either....it was a wide and deep trench.....the bottom of the car near the gas tank got caught on a tree stump or it would have gone headfirst into the ditch and landed upside down...at least that is what the tow truck driver said...tow fee.........250 dollars........tresspassing ticket to car.....125 dollars....and when the tow truck driver pulled the car out, the gas tank got ripped out.........cost of tank, replacement parts under car, labor, and gas came to 485 dollars...grand total was 860 dollars to play CB tag. Soooooooooooooooo, I had the right to be mad.........

during the 2 months i did not talk to him........he stayed with some friends...........

So even if you are the mom.........just send a few postcards........and tell how much you love her and always will.........and sooner or later it will work.......I gave in and called him and told him to come home.........your daughter will call you and tell you she still loves you. I know she will.... Life is too short to keep a family grudge too long.......you never know when the house will fall down around you......so tell her you love her, that she is your daughter, no matter what happens.....

Answer 17

Give it some time girl. A month is not that long. Maybe you both have said some awful things? When you think that you can't wait you can always write a serious letter to her. She will not forget about you she just wants a break. maybe she is ashamed of what she said?

Answer 18

when your daughter is adult, you can't hurt her feelings and try to fix it by saying something like "but I'm your mom!". Yes, you are her mom but you have to act like a mother every day of your life. It's not giving birth that makes you a mother.

Ask yourself the following: If I'd had this same argument with a friend, would she forgive me and forget about it? If the answer is no, I think you will have to work really hard to rebuild the relationship with your daughter

Answer 19

your daughter will come around. she just needs some time. remember that people have there own view on things. so accept hers. you might think your right but you should always look at her side and see where she is coming from. no one can ever forget there mother. they will always be a big part in a womens life. so hang in there and look at her point of few when you talk to her.

Answer 20

Well, that would all depend on what happened. Not to get too personal.



Your daughter is married now, and if her husband doesn't want you in their life - I don't know what happened - she won't have you in her life!



Best thing to do is to let time go by - perhaps another couple of weeks and play nice. If you want to be a part of their family. Play NICE! If you need to apologize, DO IT! If she needs to... Well, I hope she does.



Either way, find your own things to do to fill the time.

Answer 21

Well if she is not returning your calls then all you can do is wait. Depending on what happened and if it was your fault you should apologize and then let time take care of the rest.



My daughter and I got into a whopper of a argument and did not speak for 8 months but then everything was OK.



Good luck

Answer 22

that's extremely a dramatic assertion! regrettably (and larger in all probability than no longer), she will be able to no longer stick with her be conscious. She's likely merely embarrassed - a established hormone precipitated symptom of being an adolescent. do not take this in my view - maximum childrens (fairly women human beings) are embarrassed of each thing their dad and mom might want to like. i recognize it truly is a attempting time for you both, yet she'll boost out of it plenty merely before you imagine - provide it a three hundred and sixty 5 days or 2.

Answer 23

she is definetly being ridiculous besides you are her mother and if she truly loved you she would know that you deserve only the best quality not only did you take care of her but you helped make her into the women she is today. so yes i think she will eventually talk to you again. mothers always have a special place in their childs heart. give her some time maybe shes just not ready and dont be to pushy. let her come to you.

Answer 24

I'm sure there's probably alot more to the story, but I think you should give her the space she's obviously asking for by not speaking to you. Give her time, and if she doesn't feel too threatened by you in regard to herself and her marriage, then she will eventually speak to you again. She probably just needs time to sort things through for herself. One thing that will not help is you and her husband being negative towards eachother or speaking of eachother negatively, this only puts her in the middle. I am not sure, but sounds like you and her husband need to set your differences aside and get along.

Answer 25

My Mom and Ex-sister went through the same thing,My sister would make stuff up saying my parents beat her,kick her out of the house which was not true.then she would come back with a lame story saying she was raped or beaten by her bf.My parents would take her back over and over again.Finally my Mom said screw it and My Dad wanted my sister to come back,but my Mom wore the pants in the household,then My Sister wrote a email to my mom telling her she bi-polar and a bad mother,ect...the email got very brutal.Anyways my sis told my mom she could't see her grand daughter unless she got help.My sister and mom never spoke again because My Mom died in 05 and my sis came to her funereal acting like she did nothing wrong .I think that if your daughter can't make her own mind up for herself she truly self-fish and good luck

Answer 26

The amount of time it takes will depend on what the argument was about.You said she said a lot of awful things.What did you say?Sometimes in arguments we forget what we say and focus on what we hear.Did you say anything really bad to her?Just like in your own head, she is thinking about what you said. You might of said something really hurtful that will take time to get over.Write her a letter and say your sorry.It's the only thing you can do.Good Luck!

Answer 27

Maybe you should give her some space and some time. There is a reason for her behavior. It's not her husband telling her not to talk to you. It's her. Give it some time. Try saying you are sorry, practice in the mirror first so it looks like you mean it.

Answer 28

She will need some time to heal. And you do to. She will come back because you are her mother and no one can do that to their mom, you gave her life. She will say sorry. She has a bad husband because that is really low to tell someone not to talk to thier mother.

Answer 29

Well my mother is a b***h also, haven't spoken to her in a year now...maybe you are trying to control her life...why don't you try to be understanding with her instead of being so opinionated and down right rude and ignorant! Wish mine would, and then maybe I would answer the phone when she tries to call me...got my own family to worry about now, I don't have to put up with her rantings anymore!

Answer 30

Any disagreement can be settled down by talking. But if talking itself is not possible then it will continue for long till one of you call the other.

Answer 31

I feel your pain. Unfortunately we cannot control how other people choose to behave. If you can let her know that the door is always open to her to have a relationship with you and ask her to forgive you for any wrong or perceived wrong that she feels you might have done to her. No one is perfect and we all need to be understanding and forgiving towards one another. You have hurt that you need to deal with too. You need to feel it and then let it go. Bringing up old hurts and unresolved anger is harmful to any relationship. We need to accept and encourage our adult children but not try to control their lives. They have to find their own way. Bless you in your quest for peace in your family!

Answer 32

She is probably hurting too. What kind of husband does she have b/c he sounds like a jerk. He should be encouraging you two to get together and sort things out!

If she is not returning your calls, you could try a card....One of those I am sorry cards and write in there how much you miss her and love her and how much you want her to be a part of your life, and how much you want to be a part of her life.

It's worth a shot! I hope you two work it out.

Answer 33

Time will tell. Hang in there. When she becomes a mother she will know what it feels. She will come back, just give her some time. Try sending her a letter or a card and mention to her how important your relationship is to each other.

Answer 34

Chances are she will come around. People say horrible things when they are angry. Unless you have seriously mistreated your daughter in the past (not implying that you have) then things will more than likely cool down. Just give her a little time.

Answer 35

I know that you hurt.......... but the best thing is just leave her alone for the time being.... she was seeing that you were trying too hard to get back together and she is being stubborn... also her husband is influencing her.......... she will come around.. when she See's that you have started to ignore her.... you have called her on her own game...



"O" Wise One......... is on your side

Answer 36

I think she will definitely get back in touch with you, but in her own time. Don't push her by calling her again and again, as it will only make her feel more angry. Leave her alone for a while and she will be in contact. hope i have helped!

Answer 37

It sounds to me she has a control freak for a husband. No spouse should tell the other who they can and cannot speak with. Sounds like counseling is needed all the way around.

Answer 38

What was the fight about? I bet shes more hurt than anything, and since your the mother, I think you need to step up first and try to make things right.

Answer 39

We can not force anyone to love us the way we would like for them to-try not to worry!! i HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT HAS MOSTLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME FOR THE PAST-20 years-I am sorry to say that the people in the world we live in today is not as caring as it should be!! Don't push it just let her do as she pleases-and remember you can to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 40

she will call you, or you her... just leave it for a while, or maybe send her a letter and tell her you love her very much, whatever any of you said... I dont know what you where arguing about, but try to see it from her point of wiev... best of luck!!! and dont forget to forgive, and tell her how much you love her... I didn´t speak to someone in my family for a year, it was actually they who didn´t spoke to me... but we figured it out at last :)

Answer 41

Of Course.

Answer 42

Sounds like you aren't telling us something . . . . what were you fighting about? Who was right (if anybody) . . why did it escalate? Get to the root of the problem & work it out. . . only then will you become close again.

Answer 43

have you actually made a move to talk to her, make sure your there whenever she wants to talk how ever long away that is, plus what i would recommend is writting her a letter saying how you feel and that you dont wont to loose her, this is a far better method than phoning or emailing................really hope you both patch things up

Answer 44

Get off your *** and call her yourself. Maybe the two of you can take a evening class together in English grammar. You and probably she, certainly need it.

Answer 45

my mom and i disagree all the time,i guess its a growing up thing.

In the end we always talk back,cause i am the only girl of 6 kids.

Girl please call your mom now or else u will regret it,u can find another man, not another mom.Please listen i know.

Answer 46

don't worry after a while she'll realize that she only gets one mom in life and she'll feel really bad. That's what happened to me but I'm 14 and I live with my mom so... Hope it works out :-)

Answer 47

I have had a similer problem with my son time will heal the wounds just keep telling her you love her.

Answer 48

It IS ridiculous...you are her MOTHER...I don't know the whole story, but ya'll need to make your peace...life is too short for this.

Answer 49

she sounds either immature or very hurt. only u can tell. make amends IF u did something to cause it, lifes too short and u never know wen it'll end.

Answer 50

It will be ok. Just let it blow over for a little while. Then go to her house instead of calling.

Answer 51

She will eventually come around and call you as she will realize how rediculous the situation really is. Afterall, time cures all ails...

Answer 52

just let her go! Let your little swittie go! it was going to happen sooner or later. let her come back on her own terms. and if it takes more then like 10 years, i say yOU kick her!



lUKE

Answer 53

you are right that is ridiculous, but you are the mother and you must be Patience, i am sure someday she will come back to you and apologies

Answer 54

yes she will dont worry,just give her time and she will come over im pretty sure.i hope things go ok try not to worry she will forgive you.

Answer 55

How can I tell her when I don't know how to contact her? And even if I did, I wouldn't tell her. I'd ask her.

Answer 56

definitely!she'll need you someday plus, nothing can come between a mom and her only child

Answer 57

it depends how close you have been to each other when she was a child.In my opinion you should let her come to you when she feels for it good luck

Answer 58

if it was me,i would tell you mom call before my hubby gets home.but than again depends what the fight was about.If you wanna talk about this father please im me, i will be happy to chat with you about this.

Answer 59

Yes, she will. Give her some time to cool down.

Answer 60

She'll want something sooner or later. She'll be calling. Stop worrying.

Answer 61

you should really really talk to her because you would not want to lose your only daughte so watch lifetime

Answer 62

have you tried going to her house and talking to her?

Answer 63

chances are you screwed up and you probably won't talk to her for a really long time...good luck

Answer 64

She will, everyone fights, but no matter what, family love will always be there.

Answer 65

of course she will, she loves you even if she said she didn't

Answer 66

i agee with you that is stupid but it sounds like her husband is a control freak they both need help

Answer 67

I DID NOT SPEAK TO MY MOTHER FOR 17 YEARS

SHE THOUGHT I WAS STUPID...................AND SHE TOLD ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN..........WELL, WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO TALK TO A STUPID PERSON? SHE'S DEAD NOW........HOPE SHE MET SOMEONE SMART DOWN THERE

Answer 68

You didn't even say why shes mad at you. Maybe you deserve it.

Answer 69

yes

Answer 70

itz like da sayin i jus made up like 5 sec. ago. a dick n ballz r rite next 2 eachotha so da dick cant go 2 far without seein wut itz missin!!! 3=<<<

Answer 71

she will come around, but it will take time.

Answer 72

let the subject go. she'll come around.

Answer 73

call her first

Answer 74

I'm sure she'll cool off and come back. =)