Feeling used and upset.?

Question

Monday my friends husband called me to ask if I would watch their two boys this week because their babysitter was on vacation. I agreed. Their kids are great, well mannered, sweet boys and my own two boys love playing with them. Turns out that they've known for almost 3 months now that their regular babysitter was going on vacation and they didn't even bother to tell me in advance. They waited until the last minute (Monday an hour before they were supposed to be dropped off) to tell me that they needed a babysitter for the week. I found out because my friends husband (works with my husband) apologized to my husband for waiting until the last minute to ask, that his wife was supposed to have called me almost 8 weeks ago to ask.

Yesterday my friend (their mother) tells me when she came to pick them up that the twins will be going to the same school as my oldest this year. I was happy and said that the twins would love it at this new school and that she would be happy with the curriculum.

Right as she was walking out the door last night she turned around and said that her kids were going to be spending a lot of time here since I would be picking them up from school. Never asked me, never discussed how we would work it out, just assumed that since our kids now go to school together that I'm their new babysitter. I didn't even have the chance to say yes or no because she said she had a doctor's appointment and had to leave!

I told my husband when he got home from work and he said it was up to me but he thinks if I do it I should get paid for it. I'm not entirely sure I even want to do it at this point. They've already tested my trust this week by betraying me the way they did on Monday. And now to just assume that I'm going to be a permanent babysitter leaves me feeling really used. This isn't how you treat someone who is supposed to be your friend.

I have my own kids and college and house to take care of and the added expense of two extra children is really going to take it's toll on us financially (extra snacks, juice, school supplies for homework). My husband makes just enough for me to stay home with the kids and go to school and still have enough to have a cushion in savings.

So my question is, am I wrong for feeling used? I don't like confrontation and I really want to say something, I just don't know how to go about doing it without making my friend angry. I don't want to lose my friend, but I don't want to be used either.

Answer 1

It is completely justified to feel used in this situation. Your friend didn't ask, and that is in no way right. But if you do not feel comfortable watching her kids when she asked (well didn't ask) in that way then you need to confront her ( I know this will be hard i have a lot of trouble confronting or telling people no too) I would say this. "Hey (enter friends name) I am going to have some problems watching (enter kids names here) because we are really trying to save money for college. Is there anyway you could send them with extra food or snacks for after wards? And maybe some school supplies? I really hate to ask this but there are a couple of problems. And i don't really think i would be able to watch them every day. Is there any way we could work out a schedule?" Ok the more i read that the worse it sounds but you have to confront her with something like that. You can't let her think that you can just be used like that.

Answer 2

Maybe his girlfriend knows about your friendship and it could be she that doesn't want him to talk to you. If this is the case and he can't stand up to his girlfriend then he is a fool. But if this is not the case then I think it's best if you just don't bother with him. You were there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on and now that he's back with his girlfriend it’s just like you don't exist anymore. You should forget about him. If he's harsh with you then don't bother with him. Friends' don't treat friends' this way. I know you find it hard that he's treating you this way. But you don't need to take that from him. Someday he will need a friend and he will realize what he did to you was wrong. He does not deserve your friendship.

Answer 3

When she comes to get the boys today, tell her you need to sit down and talk. Let her know you are only sitting for the one week! Nothing more.

Tell her your not into being a full time sitter. You were only being ice by saying yes to the one week their sitter is off.



If she's a friend, she should understand! If she doesn't, then that only means she hasn't been nor is she a friend.

Answer 4

You need to talk to her or even phone her and ask where she got this idea from, she is not your friend if she treats you like this. Sounds like she needs you But do you need a so called friend like her.

Answer 5

if you feel used and upset.do you know if your being used.maybe you

are not being used.don't think you are being unless you are being used.

if you feel upset all your life you will never get a chance to move on in

your life.so don't let it rule your life move on and away from upset and

start a new and improved you.make the right thing happen be happy

and don't let upset you rule your life.fight it.

Answer 6

ok you u need to confront her. u should tell her the complete and honest truth. that includes the college and ur own kids



hope i helped :)