My 63 year old brother has run out of money and now wants to “borrow” from me.?

Question

My brother and I inherited a substantial amount of money from our father in 2001. My brother is 63 years old, I am 57. I have invested the money properly, and it will help me and my wife in our retirement if I protect it. My brother, however, has already spent his share of the inheritance. Trips to Europe, expensive jewelry, etc. He doesn't work for a living, and has no visible means of supporting himself. Throughout his life, he never held a steady job and my parents always gave him money to get by. He has run out of money and now wants to “borrow” from me.

I am usually a generous person, but if I begin supporting my brother, I'm afraid that my wife and I won't have enough money to retire.

How do you think I should handle this?
Thanks very much for your help.

Answer 1

Well, he is an adult, but he is also family. At 63, he can still get a job, or work part time. What is he doing for himself. How much is substantial? I inherited 2.1 million from my mother, but at 52, that isn't enough to just let me quit work and play...

Answer 2

If your Brother is suffering and is about to lose everything then by all means maybe you could BAIL him out just this once and write something up indicating when he will pay you back and such. That will protect the both of you from any arguments in the future. If your are adamantly against lending him money then maybe you could lend him what your willing "not to get back."



He is your Brother and people make mistakes. Of course you shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes but it sounds like you have more of a problem with the difference in how the two of you invested/spent your money as opposed to him asking you to borrow money.



Good Luck and be honest with you Brother about your concerns. He may get angry but that's the chance you take when you ask family to borrow money.



'-)

Answer 3

First of all when someone "borrows" money they usually have some means to pay it back.



Second of all when someone "loans" money they usually have a comfort level that they will be paid back.



I don't think I need to ask you how this situation stacks up.



You need to do a little soul searching and decide what is more important to you.....assuring that you and your wife enjoy the retirement that you worked so hard to protect or having the pleasure of your mooching brother's company at Xmas dinner?



Something has to go and my vote is HIM!

Answer 4

I wouldn't give him a single penny. He's had his life and could have prepared for retirement. Don't give him anything. You'll need everything for your retirement and your wife as you don't know what the future holds for either you.



He's your older brother and has wasted his life. It's not your responsibility to take care of him, any money you give him would just be wasted away and he'd be back begging for more.



Think about yourself. I'm 52 retired military with lots of cash on deposit and i've cut my entire family off from borrowing and begging for financial help. They actually have more disposable income from their jobs than i do with my pension. I have to consider my future because they will never step up if i need assistance and your brother won't either.

DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Learn from what your parents did to him. They gave him money and he at 63 still hasn't learned how to be independent.

I wouldn't give him anything. Which will hurt, but your 57, you invested your money wisely, he didn't.



That would be a rough spot to be in to have to tell him no about the money, but if you start giving, I think you will always be giving him money, he has done it all his life.

Good luck

Answer 6

You should already know the answer to this..you just want reinforcement. DO NOT give him any money..ok? Be nice about it but don't do it just the same. Tell him your wife said "no"...that usually is a good answer. You are not your brother's keeper!

Answer 7

Hire him to do some work for you, and then pay him for it. He won't stick around long.

Answer 8

tell your brother it is invested and you cannot lend it... he will understand... if he doesn't shrug it off and let him lie in his OWN bed a while...