She leaves for work at 7:30, I start work from home at 9, should I wakeup 2 hours earlier to see her off?

Question

I understand that I work from home. Many people automatically assume that it's the easiest thing to do in the world, but it's not.

In any event, my SO recently complained (not questioned, complained) that I never wake up with her or see her off to work. I asked why she had never brought it up (been living together for 3 months) and she said "because that's something you should already know).

I work from 9 to 5. I wakeup at 8:30, eat at 8:45, and start at 9.

She wakes up at 6:15 and leaves at 7:30. For me to wakeup with her, I would be waking up two hours and 15 minutes earlier. If a lot went on in the morning (going for a run, eating breakfast together, etc.) then it would be one thing.

But she doesn't workout in the morning and doesn't eat (simply drinks coffee on the way).

I'm not exactly "new" to life with a SO, but is it necessary for me to wakeup more than two hours earlier to sit in the family room while my SO showers and does her hair?

Answer 1

Men will never understand what women want and need. She wants to feel like you value her enough to WANT to see her off in the morning. She probably assumed it was an obvious desire.



It doesn't really matter if you eat breakfast or go running together. And seriously, get a grip. Who gets to wake up at 8:30 anyway? I think you're being selfish to act like 6:15 is a huge sacrifice. Maybe you won't be able to stay up as late, but is it seriously that big of a deal? Go to bed when she does.



She probably didn't want to start a fight by asking you to wake up with her. And she probably assumed that you were making a conscious choice (which you are) to sleep in.



If anything, why don't you both wake up at 6:00 and while she's getting ready, you can make breakfast and have time to eat together. Then you can even work 8-4 instead. What's the big deal?



Your girlfriend or whatever you call her just wants to feel like you care. It's a matter of principal.



And seriously, why the heck do you keep calling her an SO!? That's really annoying.

Answer 2

My guy gets up for work at 4:30. Even when I worked, I didnt need to get up until 7. While I was working I worked longer hours so even though he left earlier, I got home later so we were always off course. Now that I dont work, I do get up with him at 4:30. While he is getting ready for work I get his stuff ready for him. He isnt a breakfast person so when I can I pack him lunch or put a few things together for him to snack on. I put the news on so he has a heads up on what the weather and traffic is like, and time him so that when he is done with the shower I get the car warmed up (remote starter lol). We chit chat about what he is planning on getting done at work, what he anticipates from his clients and other little things. He takes that time to ask me what I have planned with the day, and if its laundry day I get the laundry bags ready (I go to the 24 hr laundrymat because at 5 am its just me). If Im not leaving I wait until he leaves to go back to bed and catch some more sleep. Its just about being involved and taking advantage of some extra time with your SO, and I know for my guy, its just a nice start to his day when he cant spend a few minutes with me. We have developed little rituals that start us off as well (kiss before he leaves, no kiss until I tell him the high temp for the day and which bridge is best to go over). Dont see it as an inconvenience or you wasting time. Try to think of how you can make it a productive important part of your day. Also if you and her get a great start to the day Im sure that at the end of the day she will make it worth your while. Good Luck.

Answer 3

When you start drinking is completely irrelevant when compared to drinking behavior in general. It's not like having 2 beers in the morning makes you more of an alcoholic than the guy having 12 at happy hour. If you're playing a round of golf then go for it.

Answer 4

Seriously, welcome to living together. If you want to do it successfully welcome to the world of compromise. You started with a good issue because there are a lot of learning points with it. lol.



First lesson, You don't read minds. Neither does she. You "should have known" needs to stop now. For both of you. When you have a problem, you need to put it into words to let the other person know.



Second lesson, what bothers one person can seem normal to the other. And vice versa. She's let you know that she'd like you to get up with her. You need to get to the bottom of why, of what she expects to happen when you are up in the morning so you know the best way to respond.



Maybe the morning is her most relaxed time and she'd like to spend some of that with you. Then getting up could lead to more talk and closeness in your relationship. Or you could make an effort to make another time of day equally relaxing.



Maybe she feels like you are lazy sleeping in. In that case logging work hours and recreation hours for a week could help. Or pointing out that she goes to bed earlier than you and gets her extra rest then.



Maybe she is rushed in the morning and thinks that having you up to take on some of the morning chores would help. In which case you could be supportive by getting up or by working with her to streamline the morning chores.



Like I said, there could be a number of reasons she would like you to be up. And there could be an equal number of ways to deal with the issue. If you talk together you can discover what the heart of the matter is and work together to find a compromise that works for BOTH of you.



Even if you do start getting up, maybe you don't have to do it every day. Maybe you get up 2 days a week and make sure she has 2 days (or whatever her days off are) to sleep in too. Or you get up and then go back to bed after she leaves for work. But the better you learn to work problems like these out now the longer and happier your relationship will be.

Answer 5

She's lonely. I can absolutely guarantee this because I'm in the exact same situation. I get up at 7am everyday to leave at 8 for work. My partner doesn't work at the moment, and he sits up late at night and sleeps late the next day. Getting up in the morning thinking "Pfft I have to go to work today, while he gets to stay at home all day" isn't a nice way to start your day. If she could think for just one day that you missed her, that you were sad that she was going to leave you all day, maybe she'd feel a bit more treasured by you. Stop being selfish, and try to make her happy just once. Try putting yourself in her shoes. Waking up every morning and sneaking around trying not disturb a snoring mass is not a fun way to get up.

Answer 6

YES SHE THINKS OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF YOUR HEART YOU WOULD DO IT! IT WOULD BE VERY NICE OF YOU IF YOU DID WAKE UP AND SEE HER OFF. YOU PROBABLY DONT WANT TO BECAUSE YOU WANT YOUR SLEEP BUT IF IT WILL MAKE HER HAPPY YOU SHOULD DO SO. SMALL THINGS LIKE THAT DO MAKE US HAPPY.TRY THIS WAKE UP GIVING YOUR SELF ENOUGH TIME TO DO SOMETHING NICE AND OR ROMANTIC FOR HER LIKE MAKE HER BREAKFAST SEE IF SHE WILL EAT WITH YOU RATHER THAN JUST HAVING COFFEE ON THE WAY! OR USE YOUR IMAGINATION AND DO SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE HER HAPPY BECAUSE THEN THERE WILL BE NO STOPPINGG HER HAHAHA SHELL HAVE A GREAT DAY WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE ALL DAY. TRY THAT. AND ON OTHER DAYS JUST WAKE UP 10 MINUTES BEFORE SHE LEAVESJUSTS TO HUG AND KISS HER GOOD BYE. BETWEEN THOSE THINGS YOU SHOULD MAKE HER HAPPY TRUST ME. IT MITE SOUND DUMB TO YOU BUT WE AS WOMEN NEED THINGS LIKE THAT! U HAVE 5 DAYS TO PLAY WITH THERE IM SURE U CAN COME UP WITHSOMETHINGG TO DO 4 HER IN THE MORNING TO MAKE HER HAPPY. ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER ITS ALL NEW ITS ONLY BEEN 3 MONTHS. SHOW HER THAT YOU WILL COMPROMISE. YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO GO BACK TO SLEEP IF ANYTHING.

Answer 7

Yes you need to get up to see her off. You do not have to get up at 6:15 like she does, but you should be up and dressed by 7:25. If you both work, then you should be sharing the housework. It would be a good time to get some of it done. It would also help at bedtime, both of you would be going to sleep at the same time. I am sure you would be treated must better if you cooked her breakfast every morning.

Answer 8

Not at all what you are experiencing is jealousy. She is jealous because you dont have to get up with her. And you are right it wont make anything better for you. Does she go to bed way earlier then you? Maybe there sohuld be some sort of comprimise is she is being truly serious. This, to me, sounds like a period thing. Emotions are high, chemicals are up, reactions are overstated. I would let it blow over or comprimise, but i m in the same situaiton and there is no way im waking up that early because I DONT HAVE TO.

Answer 9

Why don't you go for a run after you see her off. Also, do you have to start work at 9? Maybe you could work 8 to 4 instead.

Answer 10

Even though you say she doesn't eat that much in the morning I would suggest waking up and making her breakfast so that way she knows you think of her feelings. I don't think it is necessary to wake up with her everyday though, she should understand the work timing.

Answer 11

Since she gets up 2 hour before you do, does she also got to bed 2 hr earlier or just sleep less? If you can not or do not want to live on her schedule, it unreasonable and inconsiderate of her to ask you to spend the day sleep deprived to satisfy her desire to say goodbye before going to work.

Answer 12

If I were you, I would at least wake up with her once in a while. What seems pointless to you, is of course, not so with her. I'm sure she will appreciate it.

Answer 13

She is just being a little needy. This will probably go away if you find a little more time to spend with her after work.

Answer 14

Why not wake up early and take a shower with her? ;)

Answer 15

get up at 7.am you lazy sod, you could always do something around the house before starting work, or do you leave all the domestic stuff to her

Answer 16

you better be waking up early, take care of business -- wink wink, ifyaknowwaddamean ---and go back to bed.

Answer 17

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