I am having a meltdown, and crisis. I need help, and advice. Someone to talk to. Please! Anyone!?

Question

I am 18 yrs old. I go back and forth between my mom and grandma's house. I have been at my grandma's house for 5 months now, with my mom only visiting on Friday's and Saturday's.
The Friday that just past, I found something I wasn't mean to find. I was in my grandma's closet looking for her binoculars so I could see the alligator across the street better. While looking I found a big bottle of Absolute Vodka in my grandma's closet, along with seltzer. I asked my mom if my grandma was drinking again, and she ignored me. She informed me that my grandma was in rehab for drinking 2 other times. I told them I was going to say something, and they told me not to.
The Sunday that just past, I made up my mind and said something to her. I had to because I couldn't stop crying. I asked her why, and she told me. I told her I needed her to stop because I love her more than anyone else in this world, and I don't want her to drink herself to the hospital again. She has diabetes, and recently had to get her gal bladder removed. She has stopped testing her blood sugar level. When I told my mom why my grandma is drinking, my mom said it was just an excuse. I feel like my mom is using my grandma. I told them I wasn't going to just sit back and watch my grandma destroy herself! I would rather have my grandma mad at me, than dead. She drank 2 big bottles of absolute vodka in one night!!!!!! Then went out for more.
After confronting my grandma she and I cried. We held each other almost all night. Her and I are also best friends. My grandma said she can't go to rehab or AA meetings or her husband will divorce her. They have been married since they were 25 yrs old, and they are now 57.
I can't stop crying. My grandma needs help. PLEASE! SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICE! GIVING UP ON HER IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME. I WILL GO TO THE END OF THIS WORLD AND BACK FOR HER.
Maybe a hotline where I can talk to someone and figure out what to do? How do I talk about it without someone in my family knowing? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP. I WILL DO ANYTHING. NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS PLEASE. MY GRANDMA HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME; MORE THAN MY OWN MOTHER. NOW IT'S MY TURN TO BE THERE FOR HER.

Answer 1

I don't know where you live, but if you Google 'alcohol advice', 'alcohol hotline', 'alcoholics anonymous', 'alcohol addiction' etc. I am sure you will find some numbers to call. Also, the main thing you might be able to do is persuade her to see a doctor. Doctors can't tell you anything about their patients, but what I once did was wrote a letter to a doctor before the person went to them, telling the doctor everything I was worried about, so they could 'ask the right questions' and try to help the person. Sorry, that's a bit confused, hope you understand.

Also, you need to talk to people yourself, about how you're feeling and how you can help her. Like a counsellor, or teacher, or pastor or something. Go outside your family, because families are always so tied up in each other that they can't see clearly.

Finally, you are not responsible for what ultimately happens. It's her choice. All you can do is be there when she needs you. And do little things, like keep an eye on her and make sure she eats right etc. I am so sorry for your troubles, and will pray for you.

Answer 2

I know you mentioned AA and said it's not an option for your Nana, but they have a really amazing sister programme called Al Anon. It's for the family and friends of addicts. You can contact them by 'phone, they will talk to you whenever you need someone, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are meetings you can attend, and they are sometimes held in libraries and church halls, so they are easily accessible, and no one needs to know you're even going, because they have meetings at all times, morning, afternoons, evenings, weekends, you could say you were going for a walk, or to library or to visit friends and you wouldn't even be lying. There are special meetings for women only, or for the children of addicts and the adult children of addicts. These people in these meetings have heaps of knowledge to share with you, they all-every one of them- are survivors of relationships with addicts. They're in the 'phone book, and if you have trouble finding them, call the number for AA, and they'll give it to you. These people helped me out more than I could ever say, they gave me the tools and the strength to get out of a 13 year abusive relationship with an alcoholic. They will help you to help your Grandma, if you give them the chance. What have you got to lose? They will not judge, they will listen to everything you say, and best of all they will understand. You can't help Grandma, 'till you help yourself, this will help both of you. I'm living proof.

Answer 3

Without going to a rehab or AA your grandmother can still check herself into a hospital. Alcoholism is a disease and she is certainly addicted to alcohol. Once she's at the hospital, talk with a social worker in the area where grandmother is assigned. They can suggest church related support groups that she might attend. If your grandmother will not go to the hospital, you can still stop by, or phone, one of them that treat alcoholics and request help and advice. You can also telephone a rehab center and ask them how to help her.

You are a blessing to your grandmother. Don't give up hope.

Answer 4

People with addictions are often good manipulators. You need to get your own life on track and not be torn apart by relatives, however much you love them. This family sounds as if it is in the grip of co-dependency. You can read that up in self-help books and then you will have the knowledge to remove yourself from all those victim/rescuer triangles. (The thing works like this: you enter someone's problems trying to help, then it becomes something you nag them about and gradually it turns around so that you are the one accused of attacking the 'victim'.)



My mantra is 'never rescue'. You can be a cheer leader as someone rescues themself, but stay on the sidelines and encourage them as they try to change. Get your own life as a balance.

Answer 5

I am no one to judge your grandma. Many people go through really hard things. If i was in your place i would feel the exact same way. i do not know who you are and i don't know your personal life and you might get offended by what i say but it totally comes from the heart, turn to God. He is the only one that can help you and your family. i will tell you something personal that i have gone through. Ever since i was about 5 my dad had abused me, i have lived with that for a long time. He stopped and then he began again hurting me and doing things to me. It was a living nightmare. Never had my faith been so strong. I know God was always there protecting me from the worse. i prayed to him to give me strength to tell my mom. He did, i told my mom before my dad did to me what he was promising. Ever since God has helped me so much. He is the reason i exist still and the reason for my escape from that nightmare. Talk to someone in your church, to a father to help. Speak to someone in your parish or something about her. But mostly importantly talk to God. you might not like my answer, but i am telling you this from the bottom of my heart. He knows what you are going through just ask for his help. "So I tell you to ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you." Luke 9:11

Answer 6

maybe you can try to eg your grandpa to be more open about letting your grandma some help,i think AA meetings can be really helpful and your grandma has your support so that will definitely help.Just be there for her ,go to a school consellor or something if you feel like talking to someone .I wish u and your grandma the best of luck

Answer 7

Your mom is telling you to no longer say something because of the fact its a ineffective conflict. Your grandmother is ill, and no quantity of persuading on your area will substitute that. the main you're able to do is locate out the place the community aa meets and make certain she is commonly used with of that tips. i comprehend its no longer what you prefer to pay attention, yet she cant get extra constructive till SHE makes a decision she desires to get extra constructive, and then she can prefer scientific help to get extra constructive. Alcohol is a effective habit and on an identical time as her reasoning probable fairly is in simple terms an excuse, alcohol is a extra effective habit than something you are able to think of.

Answer 8

You did the right thing by telling your grandma that you knew what she is doing. She doesn't have to go to rehab though. She can go to a comfort circle. Its important to remind her about how its making you feel. Yes tell her that you love her but make sure she realizes how upset you are and how its also destroying your life. Use your tears as a weapon. One thing a guardian cannot stand is to see that they have failed. Show love and have faith and please hang in there!

Answer 9

Go to http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ and look around. You're not the first or the only teen who is in your situation. If your Grandma is willing to get help, you're right not to give up on her. Maybe she needs your Grandpa to leave to get the message across, I don't know.



Talk to someone who is familiar with your type of situation so that they can help you, and maybe help Grandma too.

Answer 10

Well when she's not looking just start pouring out the bottles. It'll frustrate the hell out of her but she will eventually see that she has to quit. Either you do what is necessary or it's Row 12, isle 48... you make the call.

Answer 11

Check your Yellow Pages.. There are listings there that can help you.In respect to your Grandma the first step is to admit she has a problem and she has to take the necessary steps to help herself.You can't help someone who does not want to help themselves.

Answer 12

get her to go to aa, tell her youll go with her. Its anonymous thats why its called aa. the husband divorcing her sounds like an excuse. google the 'intervention' website and fill up an applicant form and put what you put on here. people that have substance abuse problems really need to be shaken up to get help. you can help her.

Answer 13

my dad drank and drunk every day for the 18 years off my life be for he killed himself. and he told me that night that he was going to, just like he said many of times.so my last words to him was why don't you just do it and get it over with.words that i got to live with. be there for your grandma, keep letting her know that you care and love her.your there to help.help her fight it to get better. you can do it.its a long and bumpy road.just don't give up. good luck

Answer 14

talk to a friend, school counselor or teacher. and they wont tell anybody else because it does not involve yourself doing any harm

Answer 15

UNFORTUNATELY GRANDMA HAS TO WANT TO STOP!

Answer 16

you could try crisis call center