How would you offer to help in laws that just can't seem to get a budget together?

Question

and stick to it?? They have no ability to prioritize. For instance, they have a daughter who has graduated from High School, and in order to impress "the family" they threw her this gigantic party. At which time they didn't pay the bills, and their phone, internet, and cable were shut off. Last month they were out "shopping", instead of paying the gas bill, then had to come to our house to shower and get warm because it was 29 degrees. Instead of paying their gas bill, they spent the money and had the government pay it to get it turned back on. Last week they ate out for four days, instead of buying a weeks worth of food and then putting the rest to get the internet turned back on so that my sis in law could take her on-line college courses, that she will owe money on if she doesn't do what she is suppose to. We are frustrated and have a hard time offering help. We feel the worst for the youngest dtr, who is at home--suffering. Suggestions on how to tell them to budget?

Answer 1

First of all you can't force them to budget their money, they have to want to. I have sat down with a friend of mine and try to help them get a budget they could stick to but they never did it. They even had it much easier than I did when my husband and I were starting out. They have WIC and food stamps and everything and they would still blow their money on stupid stuff they didn't need. I was in a bad place for a long time a bad cycle like your in laws are in. But now I have a strict budget and I stick to it. We did have a nice little savings until our landlord sold our apartment building and we were forced to move (which wasn't too bad now we have a house) thank God for our small savings. Then right after we moved our car broke down and we had to get a new (used) car, thankfully my father in law sold us his older camaro for a good price. I feel bad for the youngest child as well. Here are a few things that have helped me get back on track and stay there. I bought a calendar and when every bill comes in I write when its due and how much. Then I plan when I'm going to pay it. I try to have it paid before its due date if I can. I also shop at Aldi's or Save A Lot instead of a larger grocery store chain. The food you get is just as good and much cheaper. I get their frozen pizzas for $1.99 and it has so much more cheese on it and it tastes so much better than the more expensive pizzas. Take them grocery shopping and teach them how to get the best deals. Show them the difference in cost between going out to eat everynight as oppossed to cooking everynight. They may have to cut back to the basics, no cable or just basic cable, just a simple land line, no cell phones, maybe even get rid of the internet, even though you mentioned that your sister in law is taking online courses. They won't want to sit down and talk finances with you, but you can try. I know that I was embarassed about my poor finances for a very long time. You really can't force them onto a budget. I wish I could help you more. I understand where you are coming from. If they don't want your help learning how to budget and how to stick to it then you may have to tell them you won't help them anymore. I hope that this has helped. If you want to vent anymore feel free to email me. Good luck!!

Answer 2

Lock your door, turn off the lights, and sit quietly. Maybe they will go away.

No, that won't work any better than what you have been doing. Let them stew in their own mess. So, what it was 29 degrees there are shelters for just such a thing.

They are bums with a capital B U M.



Why should they be responsible when they have relatives that will be responsible for them. Tough love is tough, and if they deplete all of their money you can bet your booties granny, that your money means nothing to them. If they can "shop" then they can "pay their bills". Now don't get me wrong, everyone gets in a tight spot now and again, but damn they seem to be enjoying this. Don't worry about the government and their subsidy. If they committed fraud to get it, they will be in deep stuff when they pay it back.



There is nothing that you can do to help these people budget. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.



They won't change, they don't feel they have to.

Peace

Answer 3

I gotta say that comprehend wholly. I've acquired a buddy who used to be getting into a comfort retailer minding his possess industry whilst an uninsured, unlicensed unlawful motorist drove into him and the shop he used to be getting into. Now he have to to visit the Dr. as soon as a month to have fluid tired from his spinal twine. No one will rent him despite the fact that he is inclined to signal a workman's comp waiver in an effort to paintings. Insurance firms may not insure him. He's pressured to be on social protection and now not even getting sufficient to aid his household so much much less pay his loan. He could so much instead be operating. This state is a 'no fault' state and the man or woman who hit him and the shop acquired a $forty five high-quality from a pass judgement on who mentioned there used to be not anything else he would do.

Answer 4

I don't understand why this should be your concern. Don't be there for them the next time they ask for help. If they ask for money, tell them you have a policy now that you will not loan money to ANYONE. They'll learn eventually that you will no longer bail them out of their money problems and hopefully take a long hard look at the mess they're in. I really don't think you should waste your time letting this bother you.

Answer 5

I know it would be hard to do to family but I'd be thinking of taking a tough love approach. As long as you guys are there to bail them out they'll never see the need to fix the boat.



But I guess the biggest question is since these are in-laws what does your husband feel about it? There are ways you could help his sister without rewarding her parents for their wayward behavior.

Answer 6

you need to tell them straight up that you love them, but you can't keep fixing their problems. find some budgeting help online and print it off for them, and then tell them that they aren't to come crying to you anymore when their hot water is turned off again. but make sure you say all this nicely, but firm.