What should I do about my father? ?

Question

My father and my mother got seperated 3 years ago. About 5 months ago, he started dating this girl named Christy. She is in her 20's, while my father is in his 40's. I don't like her, because she calls me things like retarted and stupid, when he is not around. When he IS around, she acts like she loves me. I told my dad this, and he sighed, and said "Christy told me you would get jealous" And then he said "I'll ground you if you ruin this between me and her" Yesterday, she spilled red wine all over the couch, and said that I tried to dump it on her! I wasn't even in the room! But my dad thought I went there to look like I did not do it,so I got punished. Alot of things changed with my dad, like when he started buying her cigarettes from the store, he started buying some for himself...Now he smokes about 2 packs a day, and this is really starting to get on my nerves...At the dinner table, they smoke together, and the room smells like smoke all the time...She even blows it on my face! What can I do about this? I can't move with my mother, we lost contact with her, and my relatives. I am really getting tired of secondhand smoke and being treated like crap.

Answer 1

Your dad is a grown man, and set in his ways.

He seems to like this Christy, and vice versa. You may not like it, but she could very well soon be your step mom. My advice is, instead of trying to make the worst of it, try to make the best of it. Stop worrying about what she does. Don't let the smoke bother you.

Then when you are old enough, move out. If you don't make the best of it, your life could worse before it gets better. Just try.

Answer 2

REBEL! but don't like, do drugs or anything like that. Ruin things between christy and him. would it really matter if you got grounded? actually spill wine on her. throw away the cigarettes. put up signs about the danger of smoking all around your house. or, just stay at school all day and go to activities after school. join a club that takes up all of your time. lock yourself in your room. In essence, force your dad to choose between you and her. Like the parent trap. If your dad gets abusive, then its time to tell another adult, like the school councilor or teacher. I really hope this helps, because your situation sucks! good luck man.

Answer 3

hi, sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, ive been through the same when my parents split. i can only suggest a few things to help .

try talking to your dad when Christy isnt around talk calmly to him and tell him you are not comfortable with the way Christy treats you when he isnt around, and also say how his behavior has changed since he met her . or have a word with christy directly and ask her why she treats you like this . you can call a child helpline if you cant resolve the problem they might help better. goodluckx

Answer 4

i totally no what u mean i went throw al ot of stuff like u i hate my step mom !!!! maybe u should go live with ur mom she could be better person or just start leaving a lot go to a friends house a girlfriends house somewhere or record her saying stuff like on ur cell phone if u have 1 or tape her doing it just don't let her see u doing it !! k maybe then ur dad will understand or video record her and tell her u are doing a school prodject and then set it down and tell her it is off !!!!!

Answer 5

Maybe one of your friends have a video camera that you can set up and disguise and have it taped so your dad can see first hand how she treats you when hes not around. Hopefully he will open his eyes and see the real person hes with now. Its not you that seems to be jealous, its her. Shes trying to get between you and your father, hopefully he will see the truth soon.

Answer 6

First of all, I'm sorry that this happens to you. No one deserves to be put down or anything else.



If I was you, I'd go up to my father when's he alone and tell him you two need to talk. If he starts going, if this is about Christy.. Tell him its not. Its about you two. It seems like he's so stuck on how she makes him feel, and he's completely ignoring you. When you do finally get to talk to him. Tell him, that you like that he's happy with his girlfriend.. But things need to change before things get worse. Smoking is bad no matter the age, and your father should know this. It's bad for his health, and for yours. Try to get him to make some rules, like no smoking inside. And about Christy.. It seems like she's the one that's jealous of you and your father. Tell him, that you don't like it when she calls you stupid and other things. I know this is bad to do, and not great advice. But try calling them names like she does to you. If either of them yell at you for doing it. Get them to see, how it hurts you too. And why they should stop.



If he thinks that your ruining their relationship. Why can't he see that she's ruining yours?

Answer 7

I would suggest you try to have one last talk with your dad. Tell him what's going on and how it makes you feel. Be as honest as you can and make sure you're not exaggerating things. It might help you to write a list.



If its really that bad, contact a social worker. It sounds like you have a lot of family problems and social workers are there to help you out!

Answer 8

ah ( I got really annoyed and angry after reading your Q )

talk to your dad again and again and tell him you can't bare this girl and if she's going to come over a lot you wanna leave home

tell him all the story you have written here

and tell him you can't stand him smoking and that the house always smells because of his girl

also tell him you didn't expect him to become so hasten because of this girl

you really need to talk to him seriously and also in an angry way

aaaaaaaaah



I AM REALLY READY TO PUT A FIGHT WITH HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND

Answer 9

Simple. Catch her in the act. Video tape her when she treats you like crap and show it to your dad. He has to believe that.

Oh, and you should hide the camera or something.

It know it sounds like it's from some cheesy movie or something, but it works.

Answer 10

second hand smoke is really not good for u. u need to write them a letter, and tell them both how u feel. u cud also tell a family member what ur going thru like his mother/sumthing and maybe try to move in with them. i really feel bad for u and i hope evrything wrks out fr u.

Answer 11

this might sound stupid but you could try to hide a video tape and record her devious acts and then show it to your dad. You could also make him choose between you and her or you could set her up.

Answer 12

Wow, this is seriously in a mess. It's a good thing that you attempted to tell him, but... I don't know...



If it gets worse... go to court.



I'm sorry, i really can't help you that much =/

Answer 13

well try and move in with a friend and tell your dad that either w uits not gonna workout cuz either u r gonna get punnished or he will lose u so tell him you want to move in with anotehr friend if possible?