i feel i was the unwanted child in the family and it's killing me.?

Question

I'm 27 now and for as long as i can remember i have felt like i was treated differently by my mom and step dad than any of my other siblings. when i was 17 i had sex with my boyfriend of one year. how did they deal with this? i was forbidden to see him, grounded for a year had to do all the house chores. how did i react i skipped school a few times still dated him and walked home from school with him, which was not allowed. later i got into a verbal fight with my mother so she pretty much attacked me and took me to a mental health place and said she didnt want me anymore. so i went to live with her mother my grandmother. when all this was going on i was told i was stupid slapped in the face, told by mom that she was glad my grandfather was dead so he couldnt see how i turned out. while living with my grandmother i found when i was three my mother accidentally broke my arm. I did graduate high school but was so scared to go to college because i didnt think i was that smart. my younger sister was alot worse than me and never got treated this badly. this kills me to this day. i have a 3 yr old daughter and now i feel like they are treating her like she is unwanted and i dont know how to deal with this. it kills me i cry all the time when i think about it. my mother will watch my younger sisters two boys and never wants to help with my daughter on days i have college (2 days a week.) she even lied to me so she wouldnt have to watch her one day and she never helps anyways. i dont know what to do.

Answer 1

Hey Kid, I went through this BS also. My advice is to keep your child shielded from ill treatment by your mother and others. Don't say anything negative about your mother to your child. Try to get away from this situation. You've done nothing wrong. You shouldn't have to work so hard to get your family to like you. You don't realize and they don't realize that the reason you had that boyfriend was you didn't feel love at home. We all need to feel appreciated and loved. This may be the reason you have a child. Your child must know how wonderful and special she is. If you need to move or disappear to remove your self form the toxic environment of your family, do it. You can't MAKE them treat you better but you can treat yourself better. graduate college and get rich! living well is the best revenge.

Answer 2

You now have to grow up and be your own woman. You can not let what your mother did to you destroy your life. You have to realize that you can not change what other people do. You can only change how you react to it. That means that you and only you are now responsible for how your life goes. If your mother won't help you, get a friend or pay someone to do it. Show your parents that you don't need their support to make it.



Maturity means that you learn to take responsibility for your own life, and eliminate the people that cause you problems, or at least keep them at a distance. You are not a baby any longer. You are 27 years old.



By the way, if your mother accidentally broke your arms, what are you whining about it now for? Obviously, your mother just could not deal with you. Parents aren't perfect either. We can't choose our family, we just have to make do with what was given to us. Put the past aside and start working on the future. It is time for you to grow up, and concentrate on your life and the life of your child. Your parents are no longer obligated to do anything for you. Don't expect it of them. You are a grown woman now. You will be just fine. It might not be easy, but it will all work out.



I will say a prayer for strength and guidance for you.

Answer 3

One's moms and dads have a heavy have an impact on on their kids. Your mother is taking a few strain out on you, it kind of feels. I do not know the way those forms of men and women paintings, however you'll be able to pay attention of men and women who by some means expand a adversarial courting with their family particularly potentially accounted via a bitterness they on no account bought over. I have no idea why she's exact you favor this, however who is to mention you are undesirable? Your moms and dads? As they contradict themselves after having birthed you into the sector? Whatever is occurring is not as a lot your hindrance as your mom's. I do not know the way your father is tied into this. If it is precise your mother wishes little to do with you (that's regularly for a few drawback she's attempting to disregard resolving via blaming you) you then come to phrases and recognize your self and others. If it does not exhibit your mom you are going to do all right despite her nastiness, it's going to exhibit that you just your self shall be all right despite her nastiness. Don't fear and strain approximately this. Ease your self, and do not shake a fist again at your mom both. Love her besides. And simply are living. You and ur daughter shall be pleasant. Long as you check out there shall be extra forward.

Answer 4

Stop having a pity party. I don't say that to be mean, I say that to empower you. Your mom sucked. She was a bad mother. No doubt about it. Are you going to allow her to hurt you for the rest of your life?

You should take control of your feelings, and decide you won't feel that way anymore. The next time you begin to think about dwelling on this subject, say "NO, I am not thinking about this right now" and think about something else. You can control this, you just have to decide to.



The other thing you might want to think about is this. Forgive her. She sucked as a parent because of any number of reasons. She was raised that way. She has a mental problem. She was left by your dad and never got over it. Whatever it is, you probably know.... Forgive her. Parents want to do the best for their kids, but sometimes "the best" is just bad. You control how she interacts with your daughter, not her. If you feel she is treating her badly, don't take her there.



And finally, realize you can take care of your daughter all by yourself. People do it every day... single mothers alone will care for their children, go to college, buy homes, and raise their kids with no help. How do I know.... I did it. I struggled, ate a lot of Mac and Cheese, but here I am in my own home, with a degree, great job and a GREAT kid.



You can do this. Stop allowing her bad parenting to beat you up. You don't need it, you don't need her, all you need is to realize you have the power and ability to raise a great kid, go to college, excel in whatever thing you want to pursue. The only thing stopping you is you.



Good luck, you really can do it!

Answer 5

i understand your hurt but your 27 now and have a child some how you have to find a way to let all that stuff go. your mother doesn't have to watch your child where is the father to your child an his family. if your mom is treating your child like she treated you as a child then keep her with you and give your daughter the love you feel you never got. it is not your mom job to watch your child , that child is your good time. stop comparing your self to how your younger sister is being treated.parents are humans to , they make mistakes. i'm sure your child wil have her problems with your job to . so love your daughter with all you got and stay away from your mom if you can help it for a little while

Answer 6

Hi there . . God give you a lovely daughter so be thankful for this gift . . Take care of your daughter and give her all the Love that you didn`t receive from your mother . . Your daughter is all your family now . .



Don`t feel sad . . you are a Great person . . you are Better than your mom so don`t blame your self about what your mother did to you . .Forget the past and try to open a new page . .



about your mother : " at least be Thankful for her because she gave birth to you ...So treat her as nice as you could "

Here in my country they said : "If you treat your mother good , Sure your daughter will treat you the same "



We don`t choose our parents :$ This is the real fact in this world

Good Bless you and Guide you to the Right path .