Constant fighting with my mom recently?

Question

I am 19 years old and a sophomore in college. I have never had a bad relationship with my mom; throughout high school she and I hardly fought (sure, we had a few arguments here and there, but that's just like any other parent and child) but now it seems like we can't have a conversation with each other without jumping down each others' throats. I try really hard to be a good daughter; I have a job, I do well in school, and whenever I am home from college I try to help out with the housework as much as I can (keeping my room clean, doing the dishes, folding laundry, taking out garbage).

Lately, though, she keeps saying how I am no help to her at all. She's been so snippy with me over everything I do; it seems that I can't be good enough. I have been struggling money-wise this past month as well because of Christmas. I usually pay my mom at the first of every month to cover my cell phone and car insurance bills, and this month I am late with my payments to her. This is the first time this has happened in years, and every single time we have a conversation she jumps down my throat about it. I make it clear that there's nothing more I can do, that she will get her money before the end of the month. I feel helpless. I work a lot of hours, and I'm trying my best. I wish she understood. It's not even that I'm short an exorbitant amount, just $100.

I feel so helpless. I'm trying my best, but it's not good enough. I guess I don't have an exact question. I just need some advice.

Answer 1

Hello. I'm sorry to hear about all that you've been through. I'm not going to pretend i know why this is happening, the arguments, and all, but here is one idea. Hidden anger. Your mom might not be mad at you, but other things might have her stressed out or she might feel stuck. She might be snapping at you as a reaction to these other feelings. Whether or not this is the case, i think you should approach your mom in a non-confrontational way and ask her how her day was or offer her some tea or just say you would like to talk. If it is stress, trust me, words can come out harsher than intended and if you react to them harshly (and i don't mean that in a way that suggests your arguments are your fault) it can start an argument over the simplest things. It may be very hard if you take offense easily, but try to keep a cool head, you also sound stressed too.

I also can't speak for your mom but i know sometimes the little things are appreciated but go unmentioned. Perhaps you washing the dishes and taking out the trash makes her feel like that's one thing less she has to worry about. I don't think you should stop, it's a good thing you are doing. Hope this helps. Good luck, Happy Thanksgiving.

Answer 2

Wow, your mom actually suggested she hates you? basically her announcing that to you proves that she's distinctly immature and in all hazard should not be elevating babies you are able to desire to have the means to describe on your mom which you're no longer throwing your existence away and back it up with examples. in case you are able to no longer communicate issues with out screaming you are able to desire to pass away the room, in the previous it gets to that element. ultimate calm will continually supply you the top hand in a controversy. As on your sister, forget approximately comparing your self to her. on occasion that's extra useful to get no longer something out of your mum and dad. My older sister continually had my mum and dad pay for each thing she did. They paid for her type ring, type photos, touch lenses, and endless different issues that babies think of that's somewhat important to have in extreme college. when I have been given to extreme college I had a job so my mum and dad continually anticipated me to pay for the flaws myself that they only gave the money to my sister for. as a effect my sister is 38 now and continues to be continually asking my mum and dad for money. i could basically initiate making plans to stay your existence with out desiring or desiring something out of your mum and dad. you would be extra self sustaining and a extra useful person.

Answer 3

Sounds like there's something going on with her. Doesn't sound like it really has anything to do with you. She's just taking it out on you.