My Grandmother just died. What do I do now?

Question

I had a Saint of a Grandmother. She was always there for me and she was the nicest person in the world. If you think you have a nice Grandmother, mine was heavenly. We became very good friends as I got older, I used to go for tea and end up on a road trip to Penzance or something. Little things like going shopping or running errands were whirlwind adventures full of laughter of love. She was full of energy, full of ideas. She could make any situation seem trivial. She was one in a million.

I didn't realize it but she was fading fast. One minute she was having bad feet, the next minute she was having a stroke. We had to make the agonizing decision to put her in a home. I was recieving counselling because I thought I had betrayed. I'm over that now, but one day I went to see her in the nursing home and she was sitting in her own wee, mumbling incoherrent things (a far cry from the energetic woman full of energy). I cried as I changed her and put her to bed.

Then the strangest thing happened, she darted up (it was as if she wanted one more thing to say to me) and she said "you're alright lass, don't fret - i'm still 'ere. Give me a kiss!". I gave her a kiss and she literally passed away. Now the Family are taking all her things, all our treasures we shared together, all our keep sakes ripping her home apart.

I sat in the empty room with a photo of her. I could still hear her laughing, telling me off for coming in with my shoes on and memories were flooding through my brain.

It's really affected me. I don't know what to do. She was my best friend. Sadly, she became my life.

What now?

Answer 1

Uh, your family cannot take away your memories of her.



Yes, it hurts. And it will hurt. You can't make that go away.



What you CAN do is remember her, and carry who she was to you with you. Take up her attitudes as well as you can. Live the way she would want you to live.

Answer 2

You're lucky to have had such a fun, loving (and fun-loving) grandmother.



You might try writing some of your best memories of your times together. You think you'll always remember them, but unfortunately you won't. Now's the time to capture them. In your later years you may go back over them and find a sweet book in them. You can dedicate it to her.

Answer 3

i was adult when i lost my gran

also a wonderful woman and my mentor in life

crazy as a box of frogs, and i LOVED her so much



her funeral was a blur

i had a panic attack and ran out

i didnt want to deal with it



so i didnt

i dealt with it MY way

and thats ok

you will find your way



i was angry, angry she had left me

then that subsided, and i felt lost

slowly i came to terms with it, i planted a

tree sapling in my garden, and i watched it through each season

i still go and sit by it, and now

now i smile

i cant cry because she is gone, i smile because i know i was lucky to have her



one day, you will smile for your grandmother too

one day

till then you do what you have to

grans are special people

they leave a huge gap

i send you my best wishes

Answer 4

Prepare for her funeral is the next step