should I read my daughters diary?

Question

My mother's intuition is telling me something is troubling my daughter. We have a great relationship and I tell her if there is anything wrong she can always talk to me no matter what it is. But lately she have been looking stressed and unhappy and I'm afraid something is terribly wrong. I asked her several times is everything is okay she always says everything is fine. But my mothers intuition is telling me she's hiding something. Should I read my daughters diary so I can get to the bottom of what's troubling her

Answer 1

I would usually say no to reading your daughters diary but as you got the impression your daughter is troubled by something I suggest reading it in case she's in danger of some sort as the saying goes "half ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure "

Answer 2

I completely understand why you feel the need to read your daughter's diary, but honestly it won't get you anywhere. First, let's imagine you do decide to read her diary and you learn exactly what's on her mind. This won't help. How are you going to try and bring up the topic (whatever it is) and make out like you guessed it might be what's bothering her? If her diary is where she writes all of secrets then most likely she will realise what you have done. Worse still, she could catch you red-handed or even have positioned her diary in a precise place so she can tell if anyone has touched it. Don't forget- us ladies occasionally have inexplicable mood swings, this may well be the cause of your daughter's emotional turbulence- there could honestly be absolutely nothing wrong. I should probably add: when I was 12/13, my dad read my diary. At the time, the secrets I had in there were Earth-shatteringly important to me and I was so embarrassed, angry, shocked and upset when I realised what he had done. My trust for him was completely gone and forgiveness took a long time to achieve. I know you probably wouldn't dream of doing this to your daughter, but my dad even took pictures of the most private pages in my diary on his phone (crushes, periods, friends' secrets e.t.c.). I hope you can understand that reading your daughter's diary will not help your relationship or understanding, and it is best for you both if you keep well away from those sacred pages! Oh and don't forget, your great relationship with your daughter will mean that if she really needs help then she'll come to you. Hope this helps x

Answer 3

Definitely not. This would be a gross misuse of your daughters privacy. She may be stress and closed off now but reading her diary will just make everything worse because if she finds out she will completely shut you out. Give it time your relationship sounds close and strong she will tell you what's wrong when she is comfortable doing so. Just tell her that your there for her and when SHES ready you'll be there to listen and help.

Good luck :)

Answer 4

Do not read her diary. What your daughter writes in her private diary is none of your business. The fact that you are the mother does not mean that you have to spy on your daughter. She needs to learn to be independent and you must respect her privacy. Otherwise she will become your enemy and she will be right. Remember, spying is a crime and punishable by the law.

Answer 5

Please don't read your daughters diary. When she's ready to talk she'll come to you. I have a mom that would read my emails, messages, and diary whenever she felt like it when i was a teenager. I'm 22 now and we hardly talk and I don't trust her to talk to her about my personal issues.



She'll come to you, but if you read her diary she'll feel violated and unsafe.

Answer 6

Yes, I do believe you should breach her confidence and read her diary! But you must try to only say this to her, if there is no choice, but at least, then you already will know and can "put the right face" on and your tone of voice will be neutral.



Do hope it isn't too serious!

Answer 7

A diary is sacred and private. If you read her diary then she will never trust you again.

Answer 8

She'll hate you if you do that. If she can't handle it herself anymore, she'll come to you herself. The choice is yours though.

Answer 9

Don't ever tell her u did

Answer 10

no, invading her privacy will only make the situation worse