My mother in-law and my mom hate each other.....what should I do?

Question

My mother in-law and my mom argued several times and now, my mom taking it that my mother in-law have no respect. I am stuck in the middle and don't know what to do. My in-laws loves me and are very nice to me....but not my parents.

It all started out with my mom back mouth to friends about my mother in-law. My mother in-law found out and the whole complicated situation began. My mother in-law said some hurtful things to my mom....now both hate each other. Please help!

Answer 1

Yeah, the best thing to do is talk to your husband and ask him to deal with his mother, and tell her simply that you can't always believe what you hear,to not start fights again, and talk to the friends about instigating the whole situation.they are obviously not friends, dont take sides, that would be hurtful to your mother, then after you lecture both of them, tell them that they simply need to grow up and not say anything about anyone anymore, because any disrespect they show towards either side is disrespect to you and your husband. let your mom know you love her.good luck.

Answer 2

I would keep cool and make sure any future family events do not involve having to have them both attending the occasion. You can only decide yourself what you want to do about your parent and embrace what or how your in-laws feel about you.



Personally speaking, I am in a similar situation except I choose not to have anything to do with my parents and get on tremendously with my in-laws :o) and life is far far better and my stomach ulcer no longer bothers me now!



Good luch with whatever you decide as you will no doubt need to take a while to think things over.

Answer 3

Is it available so you might entertain them seperatly? Have like 2 distinct events? whether it truly is a trouble to do this, then you definately could sit down with the mother in-regulation and clarify that it does reason issues whilst she would not come to invited family individuals purposes. once you think of approximately it, she's the single lacking out. Remind her of this. it is not your fault you like the doorstep mom in-regulation, and you may not be made to sense such as you may not. permit her comprehend this bothers you. It sounds like she is harboring some very ill thoughts from the ex. that's additionally not something you're able to do. Ask her to objective keeping her head intense and attending, so it truly is greater efficient for all.

Answer 4

omg stay out of it as much as you can when they are arguing



but



it was very wrong of your mum to bad mouth your mother in law as she is your wifes famlily



and



they really all ought to grow up a bit and take other peoples feelings into consideration, how do they think it makes you and your partner feel



what happens when there are grandchildren are they going to try and score points off them against each other



if i were you i would tell them all straight !! your partner needs to be with you for this also. tell them you are fed with the arguing and that it is affecting you both very badly........ tell them they dont have to love each other but they should be mature enough to keep the peace !!! tell them they should try and apologise to each other and let bygones be bygones



then ask all of them to STOP



if they are not mature enough to do that then i dont know what you can do



good luck

Answer 5

This is a difficult situation if you have to spend time together at family get togethers! I think its between your mom and your mother-in-law to sort out - don't get involved and don't take sides cos you will always get caught in the middle. Alternatively you can have 2 celebrations of everything - one for your family and one for his!

Answer 6

I would sit down with your husband and write each of them a letter. Tell them how much this situation upsets you and beg them to make a new start. It's the beginning of the new year, so can't they both make a Resolution to let bygones be bygones (and that means starting completely from scratch and NEVER mentioning the incident again- and not even thinking 'who started it all' ) for their children's sakes! Be careful to compose a calm, polite, well written letter, not blaming anyone but make sure it conveys how hurt and upset it makes you and your husband. We are supposed to forgive each other and forget! Forgiveness and moving on are signs of great maturity. I hope they have enough to do this for you. Good luck.

Answer 7

There is only one way to sort this out. A square go. No biting or pulling hair, and first one down for more than twenty seconds loses. My moneys on the mother in law, sorry mum.

Answer 8

I think you should just leave them to it.

Why should you be stuck in the middle.

You know, if you just stop or pretend to stop caring about their fights for a little while, they are bound to feel silly themselves.

I mean why should you take sides.

It's not fair on you, and they both should know better.

You are not going to be much help, until they both decide to burry the hatch.

And even stop visiting them both for a while.

Believe me, they'll get the message.

Answer 9

ooooh! mother-in-law .vs. mother-in-law

a fight between your mother an your husbands mother!!

you obviously need them to be seprate as much as possible,

as they dont like each other,how about you an your husband

sit down with both of them an talk about the whole situation,an

MAKE them come to a agreement!

Answer 10

Sorry, we can't, no-one on Yahoo answers can help with this. As they say, you cannot chose your family, and these people just don't get on, and that is fine, not everyone in the world is going to like everyone else, you just need to keep them apart. You can ask your mum to drop it all and stop making it harder for you, and you could ask your spouse to do the same with their mother.

Answer 11

Who cares?

Mine do too- it's just life. Keep them apart as much as possible or tell them that in your company they have to be civil and on their best behavior otherwise neither or the first offending party will be banned from visiting you again.

Simple.

Cut the umbilical cords man, you're married now.

Answer 12

Maybe take them both out on a nice trip together to see if they can learn to enjoy one another's company. Chose a common passion or interest if you can.

Answer 13

Keep them separated. There is no need for your parents to have any relationship at all with your in laws. OH, and keep out of it.

Answer 14

honey...let them battle it out and you stay well out of it....it's between them, don't have them drag you into it...the two of them are acting like a pair of jealous teenagers....somethings gotta give hun, but don't be piggy in the middle, if MIL says anything to you about your mum, ignore it, and if your mum says anything to you about the MIL, ignore it, they both have a problem with one another, so basically, let em at each other....it won't last forever...it seems that your the only one being adult here hun...they are both acting like a pair of kids...



oldgit...your absolutely right....(nods in agreement)

Answer 15

Unfortunately there is nothing that you can do about it. If these two can't see eye to eye or make any sacrifices for their children, then unpleasantness is what you're getting.



Get used to scheduling two separate holiday functions for each holiday.



FP

Answer 16

You and your husband should try talking to both of them. Tell them their behavior is making life difficult for you and if they can't stop fighting you will have to stay away from both of them.

Answer 17

Take cover and let the the old baggages sort it out for themselves. They started it so let them finish it. Tell them that and ask your wife to too.

Answer 18

your stuck , beetween a war, the best way to end a war , is to choose a side, good luck, make the right choices, or talk to them both to make peace

Answer 19

Tell them both you don't want to get involved, if they want to act like kids let them, but not when your around. Just stand up and tell then to grow up....

Answer 20

you can't really do much. stay out of it, refuse to take sides, tell them both that you refuse to take sides, you love them both and you expect them to fix the problem that they created. when they try to explain to you that it's up to the other one, just repeat what yourself.

Answer 21

Lock them in a room and let them slug it out.

Answer 22

families eh?



stick em in a room together and slowly starve them of oxygen - maybe they'll get Stockholm Syndrome

Answer 23

Organise a square go.

Answer 24

sit them down and talk to them both and if that doesnt work then tell them that if they cant move forward for you and your family, then you will have to dictate to them when you see them separate and they will then have to agree to not MOAN about what decisions you make.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 25

Why allow it to get to you....Take a step back before you get involved.

Answer 26

Tell them both you are staying out of it. This is their battle to fight, not yours.

Answer 27

be reasonable,,get a camcorder and send it to you-tube. i haven't seen a good cat fight in ages

Answer 28

What does your husband say?Get him involved.He has to stick up for you.

Answer 29

get both of them together and talk it out

Answer 30

has nothing to do with you

don't invite them over together

Answer 31

that is super cool that way your fam..and her..fam,..will stay busy while you can have fun with your wife

Answer 32

dont let them see each other?

Answer 33

Keep out of it!!!